Struggling with Behaviour

[kimnolan87]

Hi,


Yesterday was the first day of the holidays and it was horrible!

The school children that I mind (siblings - twins 4 and 5 year old) have terrible behaviour! I have had them for a year come September and there has been a slight improvement but nothing drastic and I am seriously at the end of my tether with what to do!!!!!!

They take it in turns to be the most destructive or abusive (to each other) but they all have problems with listening to and following rules etc......

Nothing positive seems to work and they struggle with their behaviour at home too - separated parents where dad doesn't discipline and mum seems to focus too much on the negative!

Yes, if I didn't rely on their income I would give notice, but business is slow at the moment and I really cannot afford to lose three children!

Please help!!!!!! It is started to affect the other children too (two year old and 18 month old - who end up missing out on activities because the older ones don't show appropriate behaviour and also missing out on my attention!)

I really don't know what to do :( xxx

[Mrsh3103]

How horrible for you. I've no advice I'm afraid but sending you hugs x

[Bumble Beez]

How often do you have the LO's?
I have a LO who is quite disruptive...only with me one day a week for 6 hrs and I feel like I'm chipping away at an iceberg...the other 6 days he's not disciplined as consistently as you would like to think and so when his day with me comes round again it's like I'm starting again :(
Have you spoken to mum? Try to find some common ground to work together with the behaviour...maybe focus on the LO's interests and anything positive gets a response...ie...well done for saying good morning to me, thank you for drinking your milk so nicely...etc
Star charts, penny or marble jars, chart where LO can move a counter along each time they've done something positive?
I find it hard enough with one, let alone 3 so feel for you x

Sarah x

[oxfordshirecm]

I had a similar situation with a family (finally gave notice as I really couldn't cope after two years and my own dd was effected and she comes first) but what I used to do- although they were 7 and 8 so a little but older was that if they had been naughty and didn't deserve to do an activity I had arranged then I would sit them in separate corners whilst the other children got to do the activity. I explained the reasons why I did it so they understood. It only took the 8 year old a couple if times to realise that they had to follow the rules in order to Join - the 7 year old didn't really seem to care tho so might not work for every child.

[The Juggler]

well if it were me and a large part of the income for the summer I'd have a shot at laying down the law with parents and children and if it doesn't work then give notice.

so i would speak with parents urgently and discuss the behaviour. ask for their backing to put a stop to it by speakign with the children and tell them you want it to work but if it doesn't improve you are not sure you can continue through the summer.

I'd tell them your plan for working with the children - which for me would be:

sit and discuss with them house rules
get them to draw up design a poster for the house rules

discuss and decide with them what appropriate sanctions would be for breaking the rules - i.e. no time on tv/computer etc, time out of activities if rules are broken during them, sitting with you during food prep if they can't be trusted to play alone.

and decide some rewards together i.e. choose an activity, treat at end of week etc.

Give it a shot and if doesn't work then I'd give notice - it's a long holiday and it's too stressful to have this behaviour :thumbsup: good luck hon.

[ziggy]

well if it were me and a large part of the income for the summer I'd have a shot at laying down the law with parents and children and if it doesn't work then give notice.

so i would speak with parents urgently and discuss the behaviour. ask for their backing to put a stop to it by speakign with the children and tell them you want it to work but if it doesn't improve you are not sure you can continue through the summer.

I'd tell them your plan for working with the children - which for me would be:

sit and discuss with them house rules
get them to draw up design a poster for the house rules

discuss and decide with them what appropriate sanctions would be for breaking the rules - i.e. no time on tv/computer etc, time out of activities if rules are broken during them, sitting with you during food prep if they can't be trusted to play alone.

and decide some rewards together i.e. choose an activity, treat at end of week etc.

Give it a shot and if doesn't work then I'd give notice - it's a long holiday and it's too stressful to have this behaviour :thumbsup: good luck hon.


I totally agree with this, i had similar problems with a family of 3 in first week of holidays, had long chat with mum and children, let them know rules had to be followed, then if so treats will follow

Last week (3rd week) was so different

Good luck