Horrid first day of the summer hols!!

[Shamai]

Four mindees all arrived by 8.30am this morning - including one pair of siblings. Mum of youngest sibling then texts whilst she is on train to work "oh by the way ?? has been up most of night with high temperature but we've dosed him up with Nurofen, given him a cold shower and he is fine now" He was very quiet and just wanted cuddles so my plans to go to local wildlife park out the window and a trip to local park instead so I could stay close to home. 11am he begins to deteriorate with high temp, shivering, goosebumps, whimpering so call Mum to collect. No reply. Half hour later after no reply from her I called Dad - no reply. All other emergency contacts on voicemail. At 1.45pm Mum calls me back saying she will try to get off work early. I couldn't believe her attitude and said he needs to be collected now. Her reply was no-one else around to collect. Why oh why would a parent go to work and not care less about the health of her child? I just cannot understand it and its made me feel used and lied to. She eventually arrived at 3pm. I know I shouldn't judge but I know I'm going to get him back in the morning whether he's better or not. Ahhh sorry about that, feel better now x

[Koala]

Poor you, I've had that happen to me, I understand your frustration and it makes me feel disrespected too. Some people just don't give a :censored:

[madredann]

I would write her a letter explaining the importance and reasons for emergency contacts if no-one answered their phones why not? explain to her the importance of communication and the passing of information regards her childs health in future, explain that if a child is unwell the health and safety implications it has on you and your setting-Do not let this go without making her aware that what she did was unacceptable as she will continue to do it. Cold shower probably did him no favours either. When she said I will try and get off work I would of pointed out it was essential that she came immediately to collect her child-she is in breach of contract although unfortunately im sure you are not in a position to loose 2 children but you could point it out that to send a child that is unwell knowing he had been poorly in the night and that she had to give Nurofen and then to not collect when asked is a breach of contract and if it happens again you will give notice immediately x

[shortstuff]

I so agree with Madredann. The whole point of calling a parent and letting them know their child is ill is for them to collect immediately. Not at their whim. And certainly not when it suits their boss.

I would also be asking for new emergency contacts as the ones you currently have the details for dont answer.

[Nicola Carlyle]

I to would be making sure she knew how unacceptable her behaviour is. I would also be informing her that you need more reliable emergency contact details end if no one can be contacted within 30-60 minutes of an original phone call then you will have no choice but to contact social services as you cannot continue to care for the ill child.

[tigwig]

I agree with everyone else plus I would not be accepting the child tomorrow. Time to get tough I think! Seriously though I would be furious if this happened and I would have phoned mum after receiving the text to firmly tell her I would be requesting immediate collection should the child become unwell. I would also point out how you had to change your plans and how her actions have put everyone elses health at risk. The selfish stupid woman!

[kellyskidz!]

I will NEVER understand these parents. It's bordering on cruelty in my opinion to knowingly send your sick child to someone else when they need their mum and should be at home with them. I know they have to work but come on, it's their CHILD.
She'd be getting a telling off from me about the fact that you couldn't get hold of anyone too, that's not on. Tell her you need to go through her ICE contacts with her because of the situation that arose, those 'emergency contacts' are not good enough.
What if her child had had a serious accident and you were in hospital not being able to get in touch with anyone??
If you have a sickness policy I would be making her go through that with you again and reminding her of what it says.
Lay down the rules of your business with her, and make sure she knows it won't be acceptable to behave this way again.
Rant. Over ;-)

[emma04]

I will NEVER understand these parents. It's bordering on cruelty in my opinion to knowingly send your sick child to someone else when they need their mum and should be at home with them. I know they have to work but come on, it's their CHILD.
She'd be getting a telling off from me about the fact that you couldn't get hold of anyone too, that's not on. Tell her you need to go through her ICE contacts with her because of the situation that arose, those 'emergency contacts' are not good enough.
What if her child had had a serious accident and you were in hospital not being able to get in touch with anyone??
If you have a sickness policy I would be making her go through that with you again and reminding her of what it says.
Lay down the rules of your business with her, and make sure she knows it won't be acceptable to behave this way again.
Rant. Over ;-)

I'll never understand why these people gave kids???
Is it because its the done thing
Is it because they think they should

For flips sake!!! No wonder this country is awash with confused, insecure children that have no stability!!
These idiots disguised as parents, deserve a severe wake up call, and unfortunately some get one.......In the early hours from a police officer!!!

[FussyElmo]

Im not excusing the parents behaviour in anyway however in this economic market we are in parents are genuinely fearful for job s and being labelled unreliable :(

My friend has a truly awful time trying to get time off if her child is ill and if I hadn't have stepped in when the schools shut because of snow she was faced with the dilemma of walking out on work or leaving her dd at school :( If the emergency contacts were at work do you think they would be in a better position to leave.

Again Im not condoning the parents behaviour and it was wrong but I know its becoming more and more common that people are having issues with their employers over leaving for sick children :( Time this country got its priorities right :(

[madredann]

I would be worried though that this is setting a president to future problems I would ask about work and how they view taking time off for ill children and re-think arrangement if this is going to maybe happen again

[madredann]

In this instance the parent has put her own job above the welfare of her child and the job of the carer.

[FussyElmo]

In this instance the parent has put her own job above the welfare of her child and the job of the carer.

And they wont be the last parents to do it.

It didn't used to be normal for both parents to go out to work. But now its seen as the norm. Parents rely on the money that both of them working brings in so yes it very hard to put your child first.

Its the same in childminding how many of us worry when there is a contagious disease in the house because we cant afford to have the time off :(

[emma04]

I changed my whole career to fit in with having children! So it can be done!

My lifestyle changed, we've been skint beyond skint, but my children come first!

We had nice cars, holidays and nights out regularly, but this had to give way to me taking a part time office job, initially and then, having always loved children, I moved in to childminding and have never looked back.

It's hard work provide for your family, but I'd rather be skint and have happy, safe and well cared for children than any job where my boss doesn't give a **** about my life. After all, what would that say about my value!!

I said goodbye to flights & hotels and hello to UK caravans! Rain, wind and club house bingo!!

[madredann]

I had an emergency situation where a child had a febrile convulsion through no fault of parent I know they are very common and not potentially life threatening but it was the MOST terrifying experience I have ever had in my job now if I feel a child is ill parents will get the call and if they do not like me calling them to come collect their sick child then they can go to someone else I do not call them for coughs and colds and I am not on the phone every five minutes but they have to know WHEN I am serious about something. I am in a vulnerable position working on my own and if I didnt act according to my policies I could find myself in a very serious situation and potentially out of a job.

[Shamai]

And they wont be the last parents to do it.

It didn't used to be normal for both parents to go out to work. But now its seen as the norm. Parents rely on the money that both of them working brings in so yes it very hard to put your child first.

Its the same in childminding how many of us worry when there is a contagious disease in the house because we cant afford to have the time off :(

I've taken two days off in past week through my own child being ill and refunded quite a bit of money to parents but my child would always come first and I wouldn't dream of sending her to someone else to care for her. I know its hard when parents don't have sympathetic management at their workplace or local family to collect on their behalf but just get a bit fed up with this parent always making her problem my problem. Especially when it impacts on the other children I care for. Ive sent her a formal letter by email this eve so will wait and see what her response is. Thanks for the advice everyone x

[madredann]

Good Luck x

[The Juggler]

Im not excusing the parents behaviour in anyway however in this economic market we are in parents are genuinely fearful for job s and being labelled unreliable :(

My friend has a truly awful time trying to get time off if her child is ill and if I hadn't have stepped in when the schools shut because of snow she was faced with the dilemma of walking out on work or leaving her dd at school :( If the emergency contacts were at work do you think they would be in a better position to leave.

Again Im not condoning the parents behaviour and it was wrong but I know its becoming more and more common that people are having issues with their employers over leaving for sick children :( Time this country got its priorities right :(

i agree with this too. its unacceptable to go to work leaving the child but it's not always easy to just drop everything and go. Some workplaces are supportive but more and more are not - I was furious the other week when a parent who was at home working (10 mins away) did not collect for 2 hours :panic: now that's just plain refusal but there might have been an important presentation that no-one else could do to an important client etc that no-one else could deliver and if she'd walked out might have been 'marking her card'.

I know that this is not your problem and it's her responsibility to not bring her child when ill but it is always worth seeing the other perspective. A Bit more organisation on her part might have helped i.e. she'd have been better going in late to work, not bringing child to you in first place and sorting out a babysitter or family member to care for the child at home so she could go in for whatever important thing it was she couldn't get away from.

However, I agree with others that she needs reminding of the importance of not bringing sick children and of her responsibility to make sure SHE or another emergency contact can collect within 2 hours.

[kellyskidz!]

It's wrong though to be more worried about your boss being annoyed than thinking about your ill child!
It's not on.
If I worked with a horrible boss (which I've had my fair share of) and they ever dared to say I couldn't go and pick up my sick child...well I can't post on here what I'd say.
I thought there was some law protecting working mothers for this reason? Some boss once got sued over not letting a female staff member go home when she felt ill when pregnant so surely this is similar?
And besides, if you really couldn't leave a job that's what emergency contacts are for, and none of them answered in this situation? That's putting a childminder in an impossible, stressful and frankly frightening situation and I would 100% be having words and getting either more emergency contact numbers or updating the ones I did have and telling the parent how I felt about the situation she had put me in

[emma04]

It's wrong though to be more worried about your boss being annoyed than thinking about your ill child!
It's not on.
If I worked with a horrible boss (which I've had my fair share of) and they ever dared to say I couldn't go and pick up my sick child...well I can't post on here what I'd say.
I thought there was some law protecting working mothers for this reason? Some boss once got sued over not letting a female staff member go home when she felt ill when pregnant so surely this is similar?
And besides, if you really couldn't leave a job that's what emergency contacts are for, and none of them answered in this situation? That's putting a childminder in an impossible, stressful and frankly frightening situation and I would 100% be having words and getting either more emergency contact numbers or updating the ones I did have and telling the parent how I felt about the situation she had put me in

Yes there is a law!
Im sure that Every mother has 13weeks worth of unpaid days from when their child is born until their child's 5th birthday. To cover them when their child is ill.

[Shamai]

Well after sending the email suggesting a meeting to discuss yesterday, today I have had a no show, no text or phone call. I now do not know where I stand and will be contacting Pacey in the morning to see how I stand legally befofe I make contact. I just hope the little boy is feeling better and nothing bad has happened. X

[emma04]

Well after sending the email suggesting a meeting to discuss yesterday, today I have had a no show, no text or phone call. I now do not know where I stand and will be contacting Pacey in the morning to see how I stand legally befofe I make contact. I just hope the little boy is feeling better and nothing bad has happened. X

I think she's just embarrassed about what happened yesterday. Have you tried calling her??
I would've called at "no show" to ask if all was ok and to ask when lo was coming back. At least you know then.
I'd call now to enquire about lo, do you have a landline number for her?

[Shamai]

[QUOTE=emma04;1281095]I think she's just embarrassed about what happened yesterday. Have you tried calling her??
I would've called at "no show" to ask if all was ok and to ask when lo was coming back. At least you know then.
I'd call now to enquire about lo, do you have a landline number for her?[/QUO

To be honest, she's not the type of person who would feel embarrassed. I was supposed to have them only for two days this week and next in the hols as they are term time only. As she has already paid me in advance, she was probably not happy about paying for a full day if her child was sick. I must sound very cold and harsh but that is how I feel. I've bent over backwards many, many times to help her out but enough is enough. I will call to check lo is OK but then think seriously about the future :huh: x

[The Juggler]

Yes there is a law!
Im sure that Every mother has 13weeks worth of unpaid days from when their child is born until their child's 5th birthday. To cover them when their child is ill.

it doesn't mean bosses don't make their life hell if they take the time at short notice though. I'm seriously not defending this mum. She shouldn't have gone in. Once you are in it's harder to leave. That's why it's easier to stay home, sort alternative care then go in once that's sorted. At least that way the child is home in his own bed and not spreading the illness to the other mindees in our care. I have sympathy with her though.

[Shamai]

[QUOTE=The Juggler;1281112]it doesn't mean bosses don't make their life hell if they take the time at short notice though. I'm seriously not defending this mum. She shouldn't have gone in. Once you are in it's harder to leave. That's why it's easier to stay home, sort alternative care then go in once that's sorted. At least that way the child is home in his own bed and not spreading the illness to the other mindees in our care. I have sympathy with her though.[/QUOTE

I was actually extremely worried about the mindee at one point yesterday, I treat them all like I would my own and do not trouble parents unless there is a good reason. I should not have been put in this situation in the first place and my sympathy has run its course!

[The Juggler]

[QUOTE=The Juggler;1281112]it doesn't mean bosses don't make their life hell if they take the time at short notice though. I'm seriously not defending this mum. She shouldn't have gone in. Once you are in it's harder to leave. That's why it's easier to stay home, sort alternative care then go in once that's sorted. At least that way the child is home in his own bed and not spreading the illness to the other mindees in our care. I have sympathy with her though.[/QUOTE

I was actually extremely worried about the mindee at one point yesterday, I treat them all like I would my own and do not trouble parents unless there is a good reason. I should not have been put in this situation in the first place and my sympathy has run its course!

i can see why your sympathy would run it's course hon. As I said I'm not condoning her actions and there is always more flexibility for a considerate and reliable parent to one who you bend over backwards for and get nothing in return. Have you heard from her yet?

[Shamai]

[QUOTE=Shamai;1281128]

i can see why your sympathy would run it's course hon. As I said I'm not condoning her actions and there is always more flexibility for a considerate and reliable parent to one who you bend over backwards for and get nothing in return. Have you heard from her yet?

No nothing as yet x

[beachgirl29]

really annoys me too i had a child sent into me sick but didn't tell me until the child came off the calpol high and i had to phone her then didn't come to collect for ages because of the "I couldn't get out of work and there was traffic" excuse. I had a good/bit bad first day too....10 year old wet himself and no change of clothes but my good friend to the rescue!

A head in hands day...it can only get better! chin up....xxxx

[Kirstylob]

Hope lo is ok and you get things sorted soon. X

[WibbleWobble]

really annoys me too i had a child sent into me sick but didn't tell me until the child came off the calpol high and i had to phone her then didn't come to collect for ages because of the "I couldn't get out of work and there was traffic" excuse. I had a good/bit bad first day too....10 year old wet himself and no change of clothes but my good friend to the rescue!

A head in hands day...it can only get better! chin up....xxxx

Yes a pair of Katie's footy shorts and a nappy pin can do wonders!

Wibble xxxxxxx