View Full Version : The cheek!

15-07-2013, 08:22 AM
I mind for a friends child. He was my first child and I offered her a discount in hourly rate really to ensure I got a child. She only pays me £2.85 ph. A month ago she booked an extra day and this morning has said she doesn't need me to have him now, but can I have him an extra hour today and tomorrow and she bank the rest of the hours for next month! I stupidly said in a reluctant tone ok. But am now thinking what a cheek she booked the day if she doesn't want me to have him that's upto her but I have planned for the children I would of had on wed, including hers. What would others do, should I say something(which I would find hard) or just put up with it!?

15-07-2013, 08:27 AM
I have same problem with my first family. I now have them in holidays adhoc and she is always changing days, I have now just accepted it is my own fault for being so soft and dont allow other families to do the same.

Not easy situation to be in. Hard to go back if you have agreed.

Maybe you could accept it this time then review contract and let her know you wont allow her to do this again

15-07-2013, 08:30 AM
all extra days/hours have to be booked and paid for in advance for me and no refunds/swapping hours once booked.

I would say to mum that you hadn't quite realised what she was saying, and as a favour you will do the extra hours this week, but you won't be holding the hours over for next month.

good luck xxx

jackie 7
15-07-2013, 08:46 AM
I know how you feel. To get the clients you do say anything. Tell her that next month you will need to keep to booked slots. Good luck.

15-07-2013, 08:49 AM
Don't beet yourself up, we all do it! We shouldn't, we know we shouldn't but we do.

:littleangel: Too soft :littleangel:

15-07-2013, 09:03 AM
I try not to make decisions on the spot. Always say that I'll consult my diary. Gives me time to think and they must think I live by my diary :rolleyes:

Dilly Daydream
15-07-2013, 09:14 AM
It's in my terms and conditions that I can offer ad hoc care outside of contracted hours but once I accept it, and its in my diary, then 2 weeks cancellation notice is required or they still pay for time.

I also do not let parents carry over or bank hours after a parent once messed me about trying to do this x

Dilly Daydream
15-07-2013, 09:17 AM
I try not to make decisions on the spot. Always say that I'll consult my diary. Gives me time to think and they must think I live by my diary :rolleyes:

I will also be working to this rule when I return from maternity leave next year - no on the spot decisions! Had fingers burnt in the past by answering on the spot for things not thought through properly x x

15-07-2013, 10:13 AM
To be brutally honest, you've agreed to do it so you're contracted to do it.

I should make it clear that it's a one-off favour and won't be repeated, otherwise you'll have set a legal precedence of "custom and practice" that will be hard to break.

As mentioned by other members, we should always give ourselves thinking time before answering/agreeing to that sort of thing. We are carers, and our natural response is to wish to be seen as 'helpful' all the time - or even wishing to be liked. If nothing else, make it a rule never to agree to anything that might make you resent the situation/family, as that is highly destructive in the long run.

Btw, I disagree about the "cheek" of it. It is never "cheeky" to ask a question, but the questioner should always be prepared to accept "no" for an answer.

Hope this works out. :)

15-07-2013, 10:38 AM
To be fair bunyip I think your probably right, it's always worth them asking. And I should be more assertive or like you say you end feeling resentful which I don't want! I have texted her(I know not overly professional, but she is a friend) because I am meeting her at the school later and it will probably be really busy and won't get to speak properly. I said I'd do it this once because I agreed to it but can't afford to make it a regular thing. She's going to send him in anyway now, which is fine!
In future I will try and give myself sometime to think requests through so I can come back with a solution that suits.