Struggling with a parent

[Kerry1981]

:panic:

I look after a brother and sister full time. I've had to collect the brother from school today as he's had diarrhoea. Upon calling mum to let her know, the first thing i'm asked is :'What did you give them for dinner last night?' After explaining that if it had been as a result of dinner last night, all the kids would be poorly, her response is 'Ok. Can you take them to the park this afternoon to wear them out'
Seriously???!!!
Am having a nightmare a week with this woman and it's really starting to get to me!!!

[munch149]

I wouldn't even pick up from school if a child was ill that's a parents job

[oxfordshirecm]

Do you have a sickness policy in place? If so I would be pointing her in the direction of it and then telling her to collect immediately. X

[Koala]

OMG, it happens.

The other week I had to phone a parent to collect their child because they were SICK. The first thing they said was - what did they have for lunch, it could have been that!

But as others said, I would not collect sick child from school, I know you were only helping out but you won't get any thanks.

[Mouse]

Why did you collect the child from school if they were ill? It's really very bad of school to phone you. They should know that if they can't have the child, neither could you.

I would make it very clear to school & the parent that in future you will not collect a sick child. School will have to contact the parent themselves.

[rickysmiths]

I would never collect a sick child from school. If they are too ill to be in school they are too ill to be at school.

I will not be on the child's records as an emergency pick up the school have to ring the parents. I would be livid with a school who were so disrespectful as to even expect another childcare setting to have a child they wanted to send home because they were too sick to be at school. At that point it really doesn't matter if it was caused by something the child had eaten.

Secondly I would be furious at the parent they should get home and collect asap. If they wouldn't I would be ringing around the emergency contacts to collect and if they couldn't come I would ring the parent again and tell them if they didn't get to me by (a reasonable time for them to get to you) you will be ringing SS and reporting them for neglect.

[KaicosMummy]

I had this and posted a couple months ago on the subject. School called me to pick up a sick child, I refused and the receptionist asked what I planned to do about picking her up at the end of the day, I explained i wouldnt be as it was against my policies which are the same as theirs. She pretty much hung up on me, fast forward to the following morning and I am in the head teachers office explaining my side and saying I would not be spoken to in that disrespectful manner. The head teacher was absoluetly horrified and extremely embarrassed and was completely with me. The receptionist now barely looks me in the eye. I suggest you explain to mum you will not be collecting if ill in the future, just think if you were to catch this little boys bug you would have to shut, not work and not be paid. You should always protect yourself, your health and your income :-)

[natalieatk]

I wouldn't collect a child if it was sickness and diharea possibly would if it was ear infection maybe then I could keep them comfortable til they were collected!

[Dilly Daydream]

I would have refused to collect child also I am afraid. I work on the 'too sick for school, too sick for my setting' rule.

I did have one instance at the beginning of the year though where child was sick at school and they couldn't get hold of parents to collect so let me collect instead at home time. With 4 other kids in my care, plus my own child and me being pregnant I was not impressed. I managed to get hold of parent first attempt to collect child. Seems school hadn't really tried to hard as parent was at desk all day plus mobile was on x x

[KaicosMummy]

Out of curiosity I wonder what would happen in the instance if we went to collect a minded child from school at home time to be told they had been sick during the day, could we refuse to accept them into our care? I know it was cause all kinds of chaos, but if a school refuses to take sick children sutely we could refuse also? Never really thought about it before........

[MessybutHappy]

Hi Kerry, I think you've had a lot of advice re the sickness!
To the other issue now. Do you care only for this mum's children? Does she see you more as an employee than anything else? If so, I think you need to try to explain how your relationship needs to be based on partnership and trust, and this cuts both ways, you have to be able to trust that she'll come and collect when needed, and she needs to trust that you'll choose the afternoon activity!!! Cheeky mare!!
Be very very careful here, if she's expecting more than you can provide, she's going to be dissapointed, and therefore less likely to listen & work with you. Good Luck!

[bunyip]

Hi Kerry, I think you've had a lot of advice re the sickness!
To the other issue now. Do you care only for this mum's children? Does she see you more as an employee than anything else? If so, I think you need to try to explain how your relationship needs to be based on partnership and trust, and this cuts both ways, you have to be able to trust that she'll come and collect when needed, and she needs to trust that you'll choose the afternoon activity!!! Cheeky mare!!
Be very very careful here, if she's expecting more than you can provide, she's going to be dissapointed, and therefore less likely to listen & work with you. Good Luck!

I agree with Messy.

Furthermore, neither EYFS nor The Childcare Register regulations require you to "wear a child out". Both frameworks require us to inform parents of the activities in which their children will take part.

If you haven't already done so, give her a list or clear verbal briefing of what to expect and be sure she knows that it is not your job to ensure her darling is so tired that they'll be asleep well before she docks her fat behind on the sofa to watch Corrie. :angry:

[Kerry1981]

Thank you everyone. It's been a hell of a week lol!!

She can be very overbearing and does forget that I have other children to care for, as well as hers.
I have a summer break coming up and from September there will be new contracts in place. I've discussed my illness policy with her and just need to stand firm. I seem to have to repeat myself an awful lot to this woman - she doesn't seem to absorb anything anyone tells her.

She also called her son's school and had a go at them because according to her 'he definitely does not have the runs'. Considering I was wiping his backside until she returned from work, I assured her he most certainly did.

My other half refers to her as 'A count to 10 Job' - couldn't put it better myself!

xxxx