PDA

View Full Version : was i unreasonable? would any of you do the same?



ziggy
03-07-2013, 11:45 AM
As mentioned on another thread i had 3 schoolies (same family) booked in mon, tues n weds mornings for holidays which started this week.

On first morning i had bit of a problem with 11yr old and brought him in from garden. To cut a very long story short..........his mum supported me when she collected at lunch time, then as expected took 'his side'. She left me message late on monday evening saying they wouldnt be coming tues and weds this week. Then last night sent message via facebook asking could i have them over night on Thursday, i refused as i'm out that night and just didnt want the stress of all 3 over night! Then she asked could i take eldest child this morning till 1.30, other 2 are booked into local playscheme. I agreed.

They normally arrive about 9ish. At 9.45 we were ready to leave for toddler group (i open up and take snack) so i sent text telling mummy to drop him at group. She text back asking me to contact daddy!!! I tried phoning daddy at home, no answer so left message on his mobile. Neighbour told me daddy arrived while i was at group and child was looking in through window. Daddy has my mobile number and didnt contact me so i just left it.

Now am i being unreasonable? would others have done the same?

butterfly
03-07-2013, 12:07 PM
What a mess! Are the parents separated? I would have done as you did - you tried to contact both parents and got no real answer so went ahead with your own plans. I would probably ring them tonight and ask what is happening next week. If they are separated you really need to know which parent you are expecting each day so you know how to contact them!

ziggy
03-07-2013, 12:14 PM
no they are not seperated, that made me smile. They are both very career focused, childcare with them is always messy. I was their nanny before i became a childminder. I guess i have been too soft with them in the past but after being messed about so much on first week of holidays i have decided to get tough!!

They have an adhoc agreement so any money i earn from them is a bonus, i never rely on money from them and due to taking on a new baby dont really need the extra this summer.

I'm hoping this will be a lesson for them. My little ones are my bread and butter and they come first

Chatterbox Childcare
03-07-2013, 12:29 PM
I would have done the same - if he answered his mobile he would of known where you were

FizzWizz
03-07-2013, 12:43 PM
I would have gone out too. I am always quite clear to parents that we will leave by about 9.15 and after this they will need to drop their children to me at a group if necessary. There is no need for you other little ones to miss out and you made every effort to contact them in the meantime....

miffy
03-07-2013, 12:44 PM
Not unreasonable at all - you have far more patience than me!! I think it was rude of mum to tell you to phone dad and equally rude of him not to answer or reply to your message.

Miffy xx

bunyip
03-07-2013, 12:45 PM
As mentioned on another thread i had 3 schoolies (same family) booked in mon, tues n weds mornings for holidays which started this week.

On first morning i had bit of a problem with 11yr old and brought him in from garden. To cut a very long story short..........his mum supported me when she collected at lunch time, then as expected took 'his side'. She left me message late on monday evening saying they wouldnt be coming tues and weds this week. Then last night sent message via facebook asking could i have them over night on Thursday, i refused as i'm out that night and just didnt want the stress of all 3 over night! Then she asked could i take eldest child this morning till 1.30, other 2 are booked into local playscheme. I agreed.

They normally arrive about 9ish. At 9.45 we were ready to leave for toddler group (i open up and take snack) so i sent text telling mummy to drop him at group. She text back asking me to contact daddy!!! I tried phoning daddy at home, no answer so left message on his mobile. Neighbour told me daddy arrived while i was at group and child was looking in through window. Daddy has my mobile number and didnt contact me so i just left it.

Now am i being unreasonable? would others have done the same?

You're certainly not being unreasonable to the parents. Maybe I'd say you were being unreasonable to yourself: I jolly-well hope you're charging them for messing you about. :mad:

Personally I wouldn't have used text messages, as they always seem to end in problems, but that's my personal preference.

I would not respond well to a mum telling me to contact her husband/partner/boyfriend/CDS in such a situation. My gut reaction to the "please contact daddy" text would be along the lines of "no, petal, you contact daddy. If you can b0nk him, then you can jolly-well talk to him." :angry:

shortstuff
03-07-2013, 12:47 PM
i would have done as you did, just as the others have said. You are not beholden to them and they are not your only family x good luck with them, it sounds as though you need it x

The Juggler
03-07-2013, 01:43 PM
I would have done the same - if he answered his mobile he would of known where you were

me too! :thumbsup:

bindy
03-07-2013, 01:48 PM
You did the right thing!

MessybutHappy
03-07-2013, 05:20 PM
Right behind you honey!!!

ziggy
03-07-2013, 06:03 PM
thank you, i havent heard any thing from them, so not sure what will happen next week but heyho had lovely day with my little ones:)

Daisy1956
03-07-2013, 06:33 PM
You don't need this hassle, tell them you are not available for the rest of the hols and enjoy the children who appreciate you.