Parent complaining, what to do

[Adiamond]

Afternoon everyone,
I am sooooo angry and I have no idea how to deal with this one!! please help...

I am off work this week with tonsillitis, I feel so rubbish and have hardly any voice there was no way I could work!! I have had 1 day off sick in the last 4 years.

Anyway I let all my parents know I would be off and each one of them wished me well ect.. apart from 1 of them I text her to let her know I would be closed all week she replied asking if next months invoice would be adjusted accordingly (I don't charge for my sickness) I didn't reply as I went straight to bed last night.

I have just rallied myself round and logged into my business facebook and there she is having a big old debate with one of her mates about why they should pay childminder/ nursery when their kids are off ill, on holiday etc.... which is fair enough let them get on with it BUT then she put "she has a registered assistant working with her I don't know why she couldn't have had him" (my assistant is my daughter who is actually on holiday this week anyway)
Would she want her child to catch something off me??? no I don't think so!!!!
I am soooo angry, I have tried ringing her but no answer then when I tried again straight to voicemail surprise surprise!!!!!

What shall I do????

[ziggy]

sorry but i would give immediate notice!

I wouldnt phone or text her. Just put immediate notice in writing and post it to her.

How would she like it if you discussed her life on facebook? I havent spoken to my own mother for over 3 months for repeatedly posting unkind words on facebook. In my opinion this is unforgiveable.

It is one thing for parents to have a moan to their friends and family behind our backs but to do so on facebook is something else.

I am not surprised you are angry.

[Adiamond]

I am thinking the same as you, I am actually shaking I am that cross, how dare she???????????

Thank you :)

[Dilly Daydream]

I would remind her that confidentiality works both ways, you don't appreciate being bad mouthed especially in such a public way and serve notice if you can afford to let the family go.

You are only human and can only do so much. Hope you feel better soon x

[CLL]

I wouldn't do anything. It is not a complaint just a rant on fb. Everyone likes to vent from time to time. Let this one slide.

[jackie 7]

What would she think if you got a friend to go on ig and rubbish her. Not much!!! Do give notice. And tell her that you monitor web sites such as net mums. What cheek.

[supermumy]

I wouldn't do anything. It is not a complaint just a rant on fb. Everyone likes to vent from time to time. Let this one slide.

Agree it's fb that's what it's for lol
Certainly not need to give notice

[kellyskidz!]

Can you give her a sort of warning notice, tell her you saw her post and comments and felt hurt and angered by them and if it continues you'll give notice? But then i suppose she'd respond by giving HER notice.. Tough one
either way,it's confidential how you run your business and I wouldn't have her slating you on fb where she knows you can see?! Sounds like she's almost wanting you to see it. I'd be really upset too as prospective clients could see it if you can, she's really out of order IMO and I'd make sure she knew what I thought of her. You can't help being ill and you shouldn't be made to feel even more guilty than I'm sure you already were. Keep us posted xxx

[kellyskidz!]

Also how would she like it if you moaned about parents on your status, about how they don't pay, or are late or something. She'd be furious I'm sure, so courtesy should work both ways. It's disrespectful to bad mouth someone online, if she had an issue with you, why not ring you? Silly woman x

[wendywu]

I would not give notice but would warn her not to post about me on FB. :angry:

[tas]

I wouldn’t give notice but I would ask for a meeting to discuss it. I would point out that it is inappropriate to be posting on fb especially when you can see the comments and ask if she isn’t satisfied with the care given would she like to give notice. Hopefully it may be enough to make her think twice next time or if she does leave then I guess you’re better off without her!

[Nicola Carlyle]

I wouldn’t give notice but I would ask for a meeting to discuss it. I would point out that it is inappropriate to be posting on fb especially when you can see the comments and ask if she isn’t satisfied with the care given would she like to give notice. Hopefully it may be enough to make her think twice next time or if she does leave then I guess you’re better off without her!

I agree with this. Call a meeting immediately. Explain to her that she signed a confidentiality policy which not only applies to her personal situation but to yours to (pull it out her file and highlight it for her to see). Explain that what she wrote on Facebook was completely inappropriate and was a breach in confidentiality on your personal situation. Hand her a written warning/statement. Explain that it's to put your point across with regards to confidentiality and it will not be tolerated and make it clear that you are sure she wouldn't like it if you did not respect her or her family and had a moan on Facebook about them! Explain that if she breaches confidentiality again you will have no choice but to issue immediate notice.

Hopefully this will be enough to make her think in future or it may result in her issuing you with notice but its totally uncalled for for her to disrespect you do much and butch about you in front of your face. This is your business and reputation not hers. x

[Koala]

Don't do anything until you feel better, act in haste and repent at leisure.

Try and think of the money you take off her and that she has to give it to you, plan to treat yourself with the money she gives you and this will make you smile inside knowing that she has bought you a treat.

You could ask her politely not to use face book to vent her spleen about you, tell her it has upset you immensely and made you even worse and that you are fazing back into work gently and not looking after all the children straight away, you will now be off work two weeks but look forward to seeing her on ........

She can stick that in her pipe and smoke it or where the sun don't shine and it will teach her, professionally of course because you wouldn't be doing it out of spite :D just making sure you are back to full health in order to provide the best possible care for her child :thumbsup:

[hectors house]

Sometimes I just grit my teeth, smile sweetly and think to my self this mantra "£3.75 an hour, £3.75 an hour, £3.75 an hour - that is all you are to me" and then I do treat myself to a hair cut or a new pair of jeans and think X paid for these!

[blue bear]

People just sometimes don't realise that rants on Facebook are not private conversations, you don't want her discussing you on Facebook but then you are discussing her on here, she could just as easily log onto here or have someone else do it and tell her. Personally I would mention it to her but then just let it go. We all make mistakes this is one of hers.

[emma04]

That's the danger of Facebook! I hate the site and think it causes so many people so much stress and unnecessary hurt.

I would never combine FB with business either.

Many will disagree, but this is my opinion!

I'd be inclined to ask this parent what she does when she's off sick and her boss calls her to Ask stupid questions and make unnecessary remarks! Some people no longer have the brains they were born with!

[Simona]

As she is not going to pay you during your sickness she has really no grounds for complaints
If she complained to Ofsted they would not be interested as they do not deal with financial matters...that is not their remit

Just write a very professional letter saying you will not charge her but you are concerned she has broken Confidentiality by chatting on FB in that manner

I do not use FB for that very reason but I do have a clause in my contract about keeping business away from social sites where neither, children, myself or my business must be mentioned
It is important that contracts cover this side of things and they should also cover parents' unacceptable behaviour to wards cms.
Good luck.

[yummyripples]

I would act all hurt and say 'I saw what you put on Facebook and I am really sorry that you felt you couldn't talk to me if you had a problem with what was going on' watch her wriggle and squirm

[bindy]

I would not give notice but do talk with her about it. I hate FB, even though I do have an account but use it mainly to keep in touch with family living abroad, have very few friends on it and defo would never have a client as a friend!

[bunyip]

I'm not a fan of FB either.

A lot depends on how specific and personal the 'debate' is. A general discussion on the rights/wrongs of childcare fees is one thing - identifying you and being so specific is another. OTOH, clients may well be equally horrified by the idea of us discussing them (albeit anonymously on these boards). Modern morals seem to be changing so rapidly, it's hard to keep pace.

I would tend towards the answer of having a chat with her about your standards and expectations re: this sort of discussion. Go through your confidentiality policy again: if it doesn't "work both ways" then revise it so it does in future (and a lot of CMs have a confidentiality policy that protects the child/client but not the CM and her/his family.) Something like this might be appropriate:


• Parents will also find out confidential information about me and my family during the course of our working relationship. I expect parents to respect my family’s confidentiality and not repeat anything they have heard to other parties.

:)