do you find it hard to keep your mouth closed?

[ziggy]

I mind 2 brothers who push the boundaries a bit but are fairly well behaved in my care. Mummy had new baby boy in March and although she may not return to work till after Christmas the older boys are still with me full time.

My dilemma is her lack of discipline. The elder boy (aged 4) is awful when she drops him at school, then she brings younger child here who copies behaviour of older brother. They run off when she is trying to get them in car etc etc.

Anyway i usually cope with all of this but today she came to collect with the new baby and sat for a few minutes. The boys were so rough with baby, pulling his legs and squeezing his head.

I'm also minding a 5month old baby and they dont treat him like that, thankfully.

I guess I'm asking if any of you would say anything or just let her get on with it? Mum did have problems with all of her pregnancies and was very lucky to have the 3 boys so consequently thinks they are so precious.

I did say 'oh be gentle, he is only a baby and you will hurt him'

[The Juggler]

i think (being me) i would have to say something. at the very least not to ever leave them alone in the same room as them.

[ziggy]

Thanks for reply. Mentioned this morning that younger boy is copying older brother by saying he doesnt want to come here, as he is more than happy once mummy has gone and plays quite happily with other mindees.

So just going to make sure they are ready to leave each evening so i dont have to watch them being so difficult. Luckily when she isnt here I dont really have a problem with them.

[Mouse]

If they were in my house I would stop them behaving like that. They may get away with it at home, but I wouldn't allow it in my home, even if mum was there. While any child is in my house, they behave as I expect them to.

I have had children play up dreadfully at home time, hitting & kicking parents etc. I take control. At times I've told parents to go to the car & the child would come out when they were behaving properly.

If they had been treating their baby brother like that, I would have told them to stop. If necessary I would have taken them out of the room, or sat them out of the way. I have raised my voice while parents have been here and none of them have ever complained! More often that not they're grateful that you've taken control.

I don't have any control over what goes on once they've left my home, but while they're in it I'm in charge.

[ziggy]

I quite agree and if they were behaving like that to another mindee I would have got involved but as it's their own baby brother and he was on mummy's knee I found it a difficult position to be in. She just thinks they are so precious and doesnt see anything wrong in their behaviour. When the 2 yr old bit the new baby at home, she said 'oh well it's to be expected as he is bound to feel jealous'. I was gobsmacked, jealous or not how could she not do anything about a 2yr old biting a new baby????

Think it's best I just get them out of the door as quick as possible as we obviously have very different ideas on acceptable behaviour

[wendywu]

No im afraid i would have to say something, because i am supposed to have some sort of relationship with the whole family :thumbsup:

[ziggy]

so what would you say? I did say to the children 'you are going to hurt the baby' but mummy didnt seem concerned

[emma04]

so what would you say? I did say to the children 'you are going to hurt the baby' but mummy didnt seem concerned

To children (in a raised voice):
Do not behave like that with your new brother! You will really hurt him! You don't behave like this with ??? When mummy isn't here do you??

To mum:
Pull your b***dy finger out woman and stop being such a wimp, your kids are going to kill one another whilst you're watching! (OK MAYBE NOT!!)

I would just speak to the children in the same manner as I would if they were behaving like that with baby mindee and keep making eye contact with mum. (Obviously trying to hint for her to step in!!!)

Then the next day (when mum isn't there) I would have a very stern word with both boys about their behaviour and add that I will not be arranging any lovely summer activities until they start being kinder to their brother and better behaved for their mum!

It worked with one of mine who would kick off the minute mum turned up and would run down the street (2.5yrs)! Little swine! Would never do that with me, ever!!!!
He stopped when I told him that I was taking the train set and the slide to the tip unless he behaved!! Even at 2.5 he knew what I meant and that I meant business!!

Good luck

[ziggy]

LOL love it:laughing:

Well when she came this evening i was feeding other baby, so i told boys before i opened door if they were sensible they would get 10mins cbeebies tomorrow (big treat in this house:clapping:)

Then i went into kitchen to feed baby, she had to put her baby down to help 2yr old with shoes, 4yr old picked up baby and she just said 'oh you are such a lovely big brother but i dont really want you lifting the baby' (for goodness sake)

Then when they came into kitchen to say good bye to baby i was feeding, i just firmly reminded them to be very very gentle with babies.