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View Full Version : Parents staying at the end of day!!!!



chelsea59
09-06-2013, 05:13 PM
Do any of you have experence of parents coming in when theyre supposed to be collecting their child and they stay for half hour asking what did he eat whatdid you do today and just sitting there talking to you watching you play with their child????? I dunno what to say to them!!!There's one father that stayed for a good 20 minuted to collect his children over the winter but luckily mum is a bit quicker,does this happen to anyone else? Don't wanna be rude but I finish the day very tired and its a bit uncomfortable as the other parents are coming to collect their kids too.How do you prevent this???????:panic:

Also is it normal to be asked if prospective parents can look around your house? Happened to me twice and didnt like it much.

ziggy
09-06-2013, 06:04 PM
I'm quite rude and usually say some thing along the lines of, 'right let's get all your things together as i'm sure mummy/daddy has things to do and i have other children to see to'

My parents come at set times so i always have child/ren ready to leave

sarah707
09-06-2013, 06:11 PM
I welcome parents in if they want to chat with me - at mutually agreed times.

They are very welcome to come in and look at the display board and see their child's work - when it is convenient for them, me and my family.

Things are often fraught at the end of the day so for safeguarding reasons I hand children over at the door - but of course I have to get back inside to look after the others.

I have a diary for the most important information sharing - I am happy to consider other ways of communicating as well.

Maybe look at your routines and think about how you can change things :D

blue bear
09-06-2013, 06:13 PM
I've had it and the subtle lets get ready I'm sure mummy ....etc did not work, had to be blunt and explain although I'm happy to have a quick chat at collection it has to be that exactly and anything else needs a special appointment for. I got the children ready 5 minutes before collection time and had them ready at the door when I saw parent pull up outside, you could always use the old.. Ofsted say, safeguarding insurance waffle waffle waffle.......

little chickee
09-06-2013, 06:14 PM
If you can have the child ready to go at home time. jacket on and bag ready.
When parents arrive pop on shoes and its "ok see you tomorrow" and shepard towards the door.

I don't allow parents into my house. I have a smallish area at the front door where i conduct drop offs and collection. i take child through, close connecting door the the rest of the house and stand in front of it. Parents soon get the message.

Do you do a daily diary? If so and parents ask about day just say "its all in the diary, now i must go as i am still busy, see you tomorrow".

vals
09-06-2013, 06:31 PM
I also take the children to the door when the parents arrive. I pull the living room door to,and the children all know the 'going home rules'. I also do a daily diary, and sometimes shortly after the children have gone home I send them any nice photos etc. I used to let people in etc.but it always turned to chaos, and when you end up with more than one parent there it can be very awkward.
When parents collect from school they don't usually go in for a chat, and with pre schools and nurserys the system varies,but usually children come out to the parent with a brief handover from a member of staff,so no reason why we cant do similar.

Helen Dempster
09-06-2013, 06:40 PM
I have them ready to go, if possible - although the kids I have at the moment, see their parents coming then run and hide cos they don't want to go!!! :laughing: I don't mind a chat at the end of the day, and must admit that sometimes it's ME doing all the talking, when they're trying to leave :o

chriss
09-06-2013, 06:40 PM
Regarding prospective parents, I havent come across this, but I would happily show them any room their child might be in, so downstairs rooms, garden and bathroom upstairs. I would make sure bedroom doors are closed.

If I was the parents I think I would like to see wherever my child might be :)

Koala
09-06-2013, 06:58 PM
It can get very tricky at the end of the day if parents want to come in and sit down, I like them to pick up and go, I have had parents want their time with me and almost hijack me as my other half says, I am wise to it now and often they just want to talk about themselves and its nothing to do with their childs time with me.
Put a strategy in place now to avoid hangeroners. :D be aware of what they want and prepare to combat the issue.

Prospective parents wanting to look around your house - be careful you don't know them from Adam, I had someone email me requesting to look upstairs after their first visit I quickly forwarded a copy of my policies and procedures stating that this is my home and the upstairs area is private and asked all parents to respect this, This was inserted after a three year old wanted to take his daddy upstairs to look at my new carpet, yes in his outdoor shoes as well, I quick sideways look stopped him in his tracks, you really have to have boundaries otherwise it ends up little jonny want mummy to take him to the toiulet just as he is leaving or parents want to use your loo which I have had folk want to do and I don't like that either.

nikki thomson
09-06-2013, 07:13 PM
Don't you just love it when more than one parent turns up at once and they start having a chat about anything and everything while your running around like a headless chicken collecting children and trying to usher them to the door, I don't have that now as I only have the one lo but even then the other day it was lovely weather so he was in the garden, didn't want to leave (sit down protest) my children's dinner was ready and I was trying to get them to the table dish up dinner with constant mummy mummy, and then lo did a poo so he needed changing it was a nightmare, mum was very understanding and I did text her later to apologise for how hectic it was, she's lovely and just said dont worry about it hun but I was very glad when that door finally shut. X

MessybutHappy
09-06-2013, 07:38 PM
I have had appointments to go to in the past!!! "I'm ever so sorry, but I have to dash tonight". Now, my children have to be out for afterschool stuff, so I have them ready to leave. Parents get the message. Often though I'm happy to have a good natter with an ADULT and it's the parents that have to make their excuses to leave!!!

sskent08
09-06-2013, 07:40 PM
I try to do hand overs at the door, take their bags, coats with me and hand over

one child 5 makes a meal of home time, really drags it out, so 5 minutes before I know parents will arrive she goes and gets her shoes and coat and bags, then parents arrive and she is all ready.

with regard to showing around, I do not show upstairs, just downstairs and garden

Anacrusis
09-06-2013, 07:49 PM
I don't mind having a chat with parents at pick up time but then I only work part time & finish at 3.30 - I'm sure it'd be different if it was 6pm or later and I was waiting to have my tea!

sarahmc
09-06-2013, 08:31 PM
I had a dad who use to come in sit down and read the local paper! I soon learnt to hide the paper and move the chair if I knew he was coming. I felt I should offer him a coffee and biscuit he use to stay so long!! Not!!

loocyloo
09-06-2013, 08:31 PM
most of my parents collect and go, and if I need to be running out of the door after them, then I tell them so! ( I have, a few times, had my own children sitting in the car ready to go! ) sometimes we chat, depends really!

I show prospective parents around the downstairs of my house, and tell them that although I have the whole of my house registered, minded children do not go upstairs at all. ( occasionally schoolies do, but only a couple of them, and only when there is only one schoolie in the house plus my own children! those mindees are my childrens friends ) the only time I would take a mindee up is if I had to get something and had one I couldn't put down or something!

lubeam
09-06-2013, 08:40 PM
I have this , dads a really nice guy but I've finished work all I want is leaving alone !!!! Lol dh has befriended mindees dad so even if I can push him out the door dh is the one talkin still !!! Arrrrr ! Shut up ! I'm gunna kindly say thanks for supporting my business n being friendly etc but stop!!! Lol , I'm a mean wife lol :)

Rick
09-06-2013, 08:48 PM
I welcome parents in if they want to chat with me - at mutually agreed times.

They are very welcome to come in and look at the display board and see their child's work - when it is convenient for them, me and my family.

Things are often fraught at the end of the day so for safeguarding reasons I hand children over at the door - but of course I have to get back inside to look after the others.

I have a diary for the most important information sharing - I am happy to consider other ways of communicating as well.

Maybe look at your routines and think about how you can change things :D

I agree. Quite often my parents don't have time to chat but everything's in the diary anyway. Occasionally I'll get a text later if something's been missed. If you want to speed things up you could have the child all ready and hand over at the door (have a quick chat there and say bye).

I actually only have two parents who pick up, and a sister who has no intention of hanging about!

bindy
09-06-2013, 09:04 PM
Because I'm in flat, I have to buzzy parents inside,I always have bags, coats etc outside in the hallway, a pile for each child! I take the child out, shut the door behind me and chat to parents there. If the kids start messing, I leave them to it, go back into my flat.

When I first started to childmind the first big mistake was to invite parents in to collect their children. Well the kids acted like nutters, running around, jumping, hitting one another with toys, slinging toys, it was a awful. Then the parents used to sit and chat and chat and chat... Never again!!

jackie 7
09-06-2013, 09:45 PM
I hate it when they come early and tea is not finished. Now doing tea at 4.30 so should be over by 5. I am making a big effort to have all ready to go by 5. I would do a new leaving policy saying while children are on your premises you are legally in charge so you will be charging for that time. 1 written earning saying it is your time and unless it is a pre arranged talk. You will charge them.

donna porter
10-06-2013, 05:14 AM
I kinda have the opposite where one parent is on the phone and not a bit interested in their child and just wants to get home. I would kinda like it if they paid a bit of interest in what their child has done in the day. But I understand how tired everyone is at the end of the day and she's obviously confident I've taken good care of the child :-)

TraceyC
10-06-2013, 05:52 AM
This also happens to me and I am torn between wanting to chat with the parents and have a good relationship with them and being exhausted and wanting them to go. One of my parents often arrives 20 minutes early, and LO says Daddy can you stay and have a cup of tea? I often do this at leat once a week or once a fortnight, and to give him credit he has a cuppa very quickly and then goes. It is difficult to get LO ready to go as he always arrives early. They don't want to change the contract as they like knowing they can arrive up to 6 pm.

I try and talk to the parents in more detail at the end of day at least once a fortnight at the end of the day but only if there are no other children here. My own 3 children who really need to go to bed suffer.

rickysmiths
10-06-2013, 07:54 AM
Do any of you have experence of parents coming in when theyre supposed to be collecting their child and they stay for half hour asking what did he eat whatdid you do today and just sitting there talking to you watching you play with their child????? I dunno what to say to them!!!There's one father that stayed for a good 20 minuted to collect his children over the winter but luckily mum is a bit quicker,does this happen to anyone else? Don't wanna be rude but I finish the day very tired and its a bit uncomfortable as the other parents are coming to collect their kids too.How do you prevent this???????:panic:

Also is it normal to be asked if prospective parents can look around your house? Happened to me twice and didnt like it much.

I try to hand over at the door but if a child has been doing something and wants to show their parents then they come in but don't stay.

When a prospective parent comes to see me I start off by showing them the areas of the house and garden that are used for childminding. I explain that the whole house is registered so I can sleep little ones upstairs and that if I do I use a baby monitor.

The few times I have been asked if they can see upstairs I say no sorry but upstairs is private and you have to trust that Ofsted have inspected it and judge from the way downstairs is that I keep the upstairs areas safe as well. There is no way I would ever let strangers in my and the children's bedrooms. Our home is open enough without that as well!

You just need to be firm in your conviction and remind people that they are coming into your home, not visiting an impersonal institution.

Mouse
10-06-2013, 08:18 AM
I've had it happen with a few parents over the years. One used to stop for about an hour, but we'd sit & have a cuppa and a chat and I enjoyed it as much as she did.

Others I've really had to discourage. As a rule, parents only come in as far as the hall, but some will happily sit themselves on the stair & make no effort to move. Every now & again I do a reminder letter to all parents saying that as home time can be a bit manic with the children getting over excited, I am going to make it easier for everyone by having children ready to hand over to the door. I thank parents for their support in making home time as quick & easy as possible.

teacake2
10-06-2013, 09:40 AM
I have one who does it in the morning, she arrives around 8 and leaves at 8.30, this then winds the child up and he gets upset when she leaves, I have tried telling her nicely, but nothing budges her.
Teacake2

suziealderton
10-06-2013, 11:24 AM
I have one who does it in the morning, she arrives around 8 and leaves at 8.30, this then winds the child up and he gets upset when she leaves, I have tried telling her nicely, but nothing budges her.
Teacake2

Just dont let her in! Explain you want to try it a different way to help her lo settle quicker. No point trying nicely-be brave and just say it x

smartbear
10-06-2013, 12:57 PM
once had a parent come in & absentmindedly start reading the post!!!!

jackie 7
10-06-2013, 01:20 PM
If they are on the phone at collection time my policy says no hand over until off phone.

chelsea59
10-06-2013, 06:53 PM
Hiya!!! just seen all your comments,,:laughing: made me laugh,this is what I go through on a daily basis,,I am going to try these tactics,,so funny!!!!!

toddlers896
12-10-2013, 06:53 PM
I have one that just walks in when I open the door and she comes in and sits on the living room floor and cuddles her babies for five minutes as they are excited to see her. 5 minutes ends up being half hr though.
My other parents just stand at the door and I have the kids ready to go. I think the problem with the other one is she came in every day during settling and now just thinks this is the norm and it's really hard to break. Probably my fault too for being so friendly and chatting for half hr each time instead of saying right let's get ready to go.

Emra81
12-10-2013, 07:41 PM
Yikes...not sure I could cope with any lurkers! I'm very lucky in that all but 1 of mine get picked up by Dads who I know really well but are never particularly interested in standing around chatting. The other is picked up by Grandma who doesn't speak English very well so couldn't chat if she wanted to! Phew!

Mrs Scrubbit
12-10-2013, 09:19 PM
All my parents text me at the start of their journey to collect, so I now have plenty of time to get the children ready for doorstep handovers, I started requesting this a couple of winters ago as I found it hard to cope with the struggle of trying to get non-complying toddlers into soooooooooooooooooooo many snowsuits :panic: whilst their parents stood happily chatting about thier day and watching me! Thankfully its now a normal part of our collection routine........and it will stay that way too!:thumbsup: xx

littlemiss60561
13-10-2013, 12:26 AM
I had a parent that would come in and sit in the lounge. I'd had her child ready to go. My eldest dd was watching tele. She took his coat off and watched the tele while asking about his day! I Was new and didn't want to be rude. Oh how I've learnt! Anyway, I started clearing up around them and she said to lo ok you can finish watching this and then we must go collect daddy from the station. Cheeky mare was passing time rather than sit in a car park! I said I'm sorry I need to start dinner now or my evening will be chaos. She said " that's ok I don't mind"! I was so shocked that she didn't move I just looked at my dd who was stifling a laugh. She then said to lo I've got your packed tea in my bag so you want it now or later? Erm....get out! They did...
I don't mind the ( normal) chats at pick up and I can waffle too. ESP if I havnt had any contact with anyone above the age of 4 for 10 hours!! But... There are limits!

littlemiss60561
13-10-2013, 12:27 AM
And had she of asked if I minded her hanging here I'd have said that's fine and given her the Hoover lol

littlemiss60561
13-10-2013, 12:29 AM
Maybe you could get the guy to do some jobs?! Like " could you do me a quick favour and sweep up the dinner under the table, I can't reach as I've hurt my back"
Struggle with emptying the kitchen bin and ask him to put it out on his way out, that kinda thing? Lol

Simona
13-10-2013, 08:05 AM
I feel that this kind of behaviour has been seen by many cms for a very long time...but apart from the moaning, frustration and anger we have done nothing to change it....

My advice would be to reflect and redraw the Terms and Conditions of your contract or add a clause that specifies what behaviour is expected from parents when using your setting......the clause should also reflect the fact that parents and cm have a professional relationship
Think about writing Terms and Conditions that list the CM responsibilities and the parents and get the parents to sign in agreement....much easier when you have an issue to point out to your T&C being breached!

Unfortunately no 'off the shelf' contract includes this vital information in their Terms and Conditions...I have asked a particular representing association to look at including it in theirs but so far nothing has come of it
I have also suggested various times about being 'trained' in this area...just because we run a business it does not mean we are equipped to deal with these situations.

In addition Ofsted look to judge our practice on evidence of 'partnership with parents' ...that must involve parents understanding the barriers and ethics of that very partnership resulting in behaviour that reflects it, mutual respect and professional interaction

I have never seen a parent pushing the boundaries in a school or entering a classroom and read a newspaper...have you? so why do we allow it to happen in our homes?

At the end of the day parents come to pick up their children and some sort of communication may be necessary if they want some information but this can be done within boundaries and it must be balanced between what is part of our job and what is not.

CMs must also reflect on their relationship with parents...even if minding friends' children there has to be a line drawn between friendship and professional behaviour

Hope this is of some help...also thinking of the parents who are members of this forum and maybe reading our comments!

Kerry30
13-10-2013, 03:50 PM
I have one that just walks in when I open the door and she comes in and sits on the living room floor and cuddles her babies for five minutes as they are excited to see her. 5 minutes ends up being half hr though.
My other parents just stand at the door and I have the kids ready to go. I think the problem with the other one is she came in every day during settling and now just thinks this is the norm and it's really hard to break. Probably my fault too for being so friendly and chatting for half hr each time instead of saying right let's get ready to go.

I had that but weaned them off it over summer hols as that particular child was last to leave. Jut kept saying i had to rush out. Now their fine and she doesnt often come past hallway. Think shes realised shes gets home quicker herself.

starlight1
13-10-2013, 07:26 PM
With showing parents round..babies sleep upstairs... so show then bedroom and bathroom which is upstairs...our bedroom doors are always shut with stop sign on so they are clearly not welcome...My son also has a hand written sign " do not cum in or lisen " :laughing:

beachgirl29
13-10-2013, 07:52 PM
I've thought of a good idea.......a call system when your day is over and a few mins after the last child should leave you get the phone call and you then say sorry i need to take this call...that will get rid of parents quickly?

New business idea? :)

As for showing them around...ok but only childminding rooms they are not looking in my bedroom or daughters room!

BlondeMoment
13-10-2013, 08:27 PM
OMG I know exactly what you mean.
It's so hard because you try to be friendly and approachable but some parents really don't understand that you have a life other than the job you do.
In all honesty I don't mind too much if the parent has arrived on time and we have a general chit chat for 5 minutes or so. But when they are already late and still expect you to happily listen to them rant on about their terrbile day, that's when I get irritated.
The 'I'm on my way out' trick works very well!

bunyip
14-10-2013, 08:55 AM
OMG I know exactly what you mean.
It's so hard because you try to be friendly and approachable but some parents really don't understand that you have a life other than the job you do.
In all honesty I don't mind too much if the parent has arrived on time and we have a general chit chat for 5 minutes or so. But when they are already late and still expect you to happily listen to them rant on about their terrbile day, that's when I get irritated.
The 'I'm on my way out' trick works very well!

This is when I go and sit in my little booth, in the manner of Lucy van Pelt, and start the meter running (only I don't charge a mere 5 cents.)

Link: Google Image Result for http://princessanimal.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Lucy-van-pelt-1-.jpg (http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://princessanimal.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2013/04/Lucy-van-pelt-1-.jpg&imgrefurl=http://princessanimal.com/home/events-classes&h=600&w=541&sz=50&tbnid=vZIXOVLe3S0kWM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=81&zoom=1&usg=__kiYK-aiQRHkr_O3086HQ6pU6S1c=&docid=uVzP8P_PkYYZ5M&sa=X&ei=BrFbUrvZJIOx0QXMxoBo&ved=0CD4Q9QEwAg)

:rolleyes: