Confusing for child?

[smurfette]

Hi,,, me again about my unsettled baby!! Last week was much better (had her two half days and one full day) ... But today she is leg hugging and crying again!! End of last week was decision time and based on the week we had had I told mum I was happy to continue.. But now feel back to square one! She just seems insecure (13 months) mum and dad are lovely and dote on her and have worked really hard getting her to self settle for sleep and get her into a routine to help her settle but I am at a loss!

She only officially comes 5/6 days a month as dad is on shift, and the rest of care is shared between the grannies .. I am now wondering if at her age it is just too confusing .. Her week can be Monday with dad, Tuesday with granny one, Wednesday with granny two and Thursday and Friday with me .. I have added extra settling sessions for a couple of hours but I dunno is that not helping? I don't know how grannies are with her, apparently she is ok with them?? Hellppp!!! (Ps had home visit suggested but don't think that will help as mum is very honest with me)

[CLL]

I would say she is too young to understand why she is being passed around so much. Hopefully granny 1 or 2 can look after her for these few days. If not parents may have to use their holidays for these odd days in the month. It is no good for all involved if she continues in this way. I think parents need to re assess their situation as you have tried all strategies and have identified the problem, one which you can not fix unless you have her a lot more times in the week. I think you want to give notice but you feel bad. Just remember you have identified your setting is not right for this lo, not that you want to get rid of her. Good luck and stay strong, you are using your professional judgement don't doubt it.

[QualityCare]

Very confusing for the poor little one, including mum she has 5 different carers and 5 different routines she doesn't know where she is from one day to the next she needs some stability and routine, is the cost of child care the reason why grannies have her or is it pressure from them to have her, have another chat with mum about routine and consistency for children and see if she would be willing to increase your days, if thats what you want, or give notice but then she wouldn't be any better off as they still need some extra days covering.

[smurfette]

Well she was great today! I keep getting glimpses of good days and what she can be like, she is just slow to settle but feel we are getting there!

[Koala]

I really feel for the little one.

I would NOT want to do that to my babe. So many different carers, different rules, different people etc.... etc...

But obviously this is their decision but it may get worse when babe starts to realise and get anxious about the lack of consistency.

Good luck, you can obviously see light at the end of the tunnel so you are doing things right, but be prepared for a rocky road. xx :thumbsup:

[sing-low]

Well she was great today! I keep getting glimpses of good days and what she can be like, she is just slow to settle but feel we are getting there!

That's good to hear. Poor LO. My SIL had this with my niece but the other way around - the changing grandparent care was too confusing (different one each week, also to cover shifts) so she stopped going to grand-parents and increased hours with cm.

Re what you could do to help - would photos of her 'special people' help do you think? I have a lovely fabric photo album for DD with family photos in it. Or you could give parents a photo of yourself to show lo when it's a day with you and suggest they do the same with photos of grannies?

My other thought is could you suggest a home visit to the grannies - see what they do, try and have some consistency?

[bindy]

Sometimes it take a little longer for babies to settle, I normally find within 2 weeks they are fine, but I have a 1 year old that after 3 month has only just settled, with no crying at all! It depends how long you are willing to stick it out, it will come! Remember its hard for us but must be terrifying for babies!