View Full Version : Party advice?

17-05-2013, 08:50 PM
Hi, just wondering if you could share your thoughts on this with me please? My daughter will shortly be having her birthday, and wants to invite the children I mind to her party! I'm not sure whether to or not. I want to keep the relationship I have the parents professional, as technically, although they are all lovely, they are not my friends. However, my daughter views the children as her friends!So, how do I play it?!

18-05-2013, 09:41 AM
I have done this in the past and it hasn't affected the relationship I have had with the parents really but I do understand your concern. The party invite is really about your daughters relationship with the children. I have found it impossible to keep some relationships strictly professional as my children become friends with particular children - it's just one of those things that happens when you childmind with children similar age to your own. I have never had a problem that the relationship gets blurred - those parents that I have got more friendly with understand that I am running a business here and there are times when we have to have 'business type' conversations.

One of the parents that my children got really friendly with is now one of my best friends and 6 years later our kids are still really close.

18-05-2013, 09:52 AM
If you feel that it can be managed sensibly, I mean the parents, you've heard of playgroup jealousy, there is also school gate jealousy which belongs to the parents, Then why not?

Does your daughter want to invite all the kids you mind of relevant age?
If not some parents may feel you are treating their child less favorably, it's not right but it can happen.
Birthday parties can turn very political.

Good luck in what you do, in the end it's up to you and childminding does not have to impact on your life outside your contracted hours sometimes we all need to remind ourselves of this and our own personal life and choices are separate. :thumbsup:

18-05-2013, 10:25 AM
I have become really good friends with one of the parents - and one other parent was a school friend, so I feel that we are all really close in that sense.

On the other hand, the other parents are friendly, but not friends, and never want to come along to any meals or evenings that we plan together.

My fiancé and I plan to have some of the children included in our wedding, all families will be invited to the evening party, but the two families mentioned above will play a part in the ceremony too - we feel blessed to have these families in our lives and wish to include them in our special day, so why not allow some form of friendship between your family and families you class as clients :)

18-05-2013, 11:08 AM
Im inviting the people my dd wants if thats mindees then so be it.

My ds and a mindee had a joint party.

18-05-2013, 11:18 AM
It's a funny one isn't it? My DD invited my old mindee to her party as he has become her best friend. I didn't invite my current mindee because he was only a baby. In fact I took the day off so that I wouldn't have to be looking after him and could focus on my daughter. The parents were fine and totally understood. My old mindees mum didn't stay because she had a tiny baby and so I said that she could go home and have a rest for a couple of hours. To be honest, I was quite relieved when she agreed to do this, because, like you say we had a proffesional relationship. All the other mums were from playgroup/nursery and I knew we would have a (nice) gossip. Having said that, I go to my old mindees party and stay there. I do feel a bit self conscious and feel like I have to be like Mary Poppins when I am there because all his extended family are there too. It's okay, it's not like you are inviting them to your party where you might get drunk and get up to all sorts of mischief! x

18-05-2013, 09:10 PM
My DD invited the two after schoolies but they are in her class, although whether she would if they did not come to me I don't know but my view is it was her party and her choice.

Hope that helps.

Sam x

18-05-2013, 09:40 PM
Thank you so much for your replies. It's been very interesting to read. I only have three children on my books, and one of them, we knew, through another friend, before I started minding her, so she has been invited anyway. I have managed quite successfully to keep my relationship with her mum quite professional, but we are friends too. As far as the other two are concerned, one is a similar age, just a couple of months older, and the other is a couple of years younger (a baby really...but toddling!). Maybe It would be ok to invite them then...just informally. Just let them know that we will be having a party and they would be welcome to drop in they want to.....? I also feel funny about them buying a present! Is that silly?! They pay me to care for their children, and I feel like I would be asking them to come and bring a present for my daughter!! Kerry

18-05-2013, 11:20 PM
my ds had some of my mindies bar at his party. half of them would have been invited anyway and the other few were good friends of his. it was nice to be able to socialise in a different type of environment. also the parents can see you warts n all (not that im saying you have warts lol)

19-05-2013, 02:57 PM
We have had tea parties at home and all the mindees on that day have come and parties elsewhere were some have been invited but not all. We have about 25 children on the books so it has to be realistic. I am just a bit careful about mentioning it in front of some parents. It is a tricky one. then I have a couple of (lovely) parents who always buy my kiddies a gift which is so kind but then I worry about that.

19-05-2013, 08:57 PM
I recently had the same dilemma as you as my ds wanted to invite a mindee that has been coming for over a year. However, whilst we get on brilliantly I have always kept the relationship very professional and decided that I would rather keep it this way so didn't invite them for this reason. Tbh ds was so happy and wrapped up in his moment that it wasn't an issue.

22-05-2013, 10:58 PM
Thank you all once again. I still haven't decided what to do!