Going to be late and not sure what time I can collect....

[Shamai]

Hello and Happy Friday Forumites!

I've just received a call from a mindees parent to say they will be late this evening due to unavoidable work commitments. They are unable to send anyone else to collect as everyone is busy working and they are unable to give me a specific time for collection. Sorry.

Late fee charges are not the issue here as the parent will pay but where do you all draw the line with being accommodating, flexible and reasonable? What would happen if the child was in a nursery, surely she couldn't ring up and just say sorry I'm going to be late but not sure what time I will be able to collect!

I can see this scenario happening more in the future as its a new role for the parent. My current late collection policy states charges after contracted hours only.

Collection is due by 6pm, what would you say?

[Rick]

I guess childminders can be a bit more flexible than a nursery but if it becomes inconvenient to be later (rather than a money earner) then you need to say so.

Up to 6 o'clock I would have the child for longer so long as it doesn't inconvenience me and would charge my hourly rate so long as they let me know.

I would charge more if it was after 6pm or before 8am and would charge late fees if parents didn't bother to inform me they would be late

[Mouse]

What did you say to the parent?

At the end of the day, someone is going to have to look after this child after 6o'clock, but why should it be you? In these situations it is rarely the case that no one can collect a child, more often the case that no one WANTS to collect them. I know it's not always that simple, but why cite unavoidable work commitments to excuse it. Why not tell work they have unavoidable commitments to their child?

If put in this position I would probably come up with a compromise. I would say the child can stay with me until a time I was happy with, but that someone would have to collect by then. I think it's a fair compromise. I also think that if you're adamant that the child must be collected by a certain time, they will always find someone who will manage to get there.

[Rick]

.......but make sure that 'someone else' comes with a password especially if you haven't met them before.

[Shamai]

What did you say to the parent?

At the end of the day, someone is going to have to look after this child after 6o'clock, but why should it be you? In these situations it is rarely the case that no one can collect a child, more often the case that no one WANTS to collect them. I know it's not always that simple, but why cite unavoidable work commitments to excuse it. Why not tell work they have unavoidable commitments to their child?

If put in this position I would probably come up with a compromise. I would say the child can stay with me until a time I was happy with, but that someone would have to collect by then. I think it's a fair compromise. I also think that if you're adamant that the child must be collected by a certain time, they will always find someone who will manage to get there.

That is exactly how I feel Mouse, why should it fall on me to have them? I wouldn't mind so much if I was given a timescale of say an hour late but I feel an indefinite time is not acceptable. I think a compromise is a good reply on this one, I was sent an email as mobile has been left at home so will call her back at work. I had to provide all the emergency contact numbers.

I have a rare night out tonight so was really looking forward to finishing on time. Typical!

[adele1985]

That is exactly how I feel Mouse, why should it fall on me to have them? I wouldn't mind so much if I was given a timescale of say an hour late but I feel an indefinite time is not acceptable. I think a compromise is a good reply on this one, I was sent an email as mobile has been left at home so will call her back at work. I had to provide all the emergency contact numbers.

I have a rare night out tonight so was really looking forward to finishing on time. Typical!

if you have plans then i would let them know asap that they will have to make arrangmwnts for the child to be collected as you have plans tonight, i know as childminders we are alot more flexable than other childcare but there needs to be a cut off point so we can have a life

also if you dont say anything it may become a regular thing if parents have got new roles at work

good luck and enjoy your night out

[FussyElmo]

If you have plans tell the parent that you are sorry but you need the child to be collected on time due to a previous arrangement.

I really like being flexible to my parents however I draw the line at not being told an definite time for collection.

[Mouse]

That is exactly how I feel Mouse, why should it fall on me to have them? I wouldn't mind so much if I was given a timescale of say an hour late but I feel an indefinite time is not acceptable. I think a compromise is a good reply on this one, I was sent an email as mobile has been left at home so will call her back at work. I had to provide all the emergency contact numbers.

I have a rare night out tonight so was really looking forward to finishing on time. Typical!

Isn't that typical? Sometimes I think parents forget we have a life away from looking after their children! In the past I have had some children left here very late, but that's for extreme circumstances and when I offer. I always find I'm more abrupt and less flexible when they just assume I can do it!

[Shamai]

Miraculously due to my offering a compromise time of collection, they no longer have to work late.

Roll on wine o'clock :D. Thank you for your replies, as always :thumbsup:

[kellib]

If you have plans tell them that! They can't just expect you to be at their beck and call, it'll do them good to realise that actually you do have a life outside of them and their child!

They will have someone who can pick up, they just won't have asked anyone yet as they'll have just assumed you will do it.

[FussyElmo]

Miraculously due to my offering a compromise time of collection, they no longer have to work late.

Roll on wine o'clock :D. Thank you for your replies, as always :thumbsup:

Strange that :laughing::laughing:

[maisiemog]

I am constantly getting asked if they can be late. I don't mind when it's only 30 mins but there have been occasions when it's been 9pm and they are only just collecting their kids. It takes up my whole evening and puts my DH in a bad mood. After 2 years its hard to start saying no and I think I'm going to have to put up with it! If you don't want this to start then you need to be firm now, not like me! I'm too soft!

[mama2three]

Enjoy your night out!

Im flexible , infact I started at 630 yesterday for a family - happy to help out this family who collect early occasionally etc .

One of my parents asked if I could have kids til 7 one wednesday. My reply was that it depended whether kids would want to come to weightwatchers with me! This parent would rather sit outside in the car than pick up the children 2 minutes early , she is paying me and so uses every second. She is trying to get out of paying for the summer hols as she has other care available. I most certainly wouldnt cancel my plans for this one!

[Shamai]

I am constantly getting asked if they can be late. I don't mind when it's only 30 mins but there have been occasions when it's been 9pm and they are only just collecting their kids. It takes up my whole evening and puts my DH in a bad mood. After 2 years its hard to start saying no and I think I'm going to have to put up with it! If you don't want this to start then you need to be firm now, not like me! I'm too soft!

I try to be as flexible as I can with regard to late trains, traffic etc. And do not usually charge for these as it is unavoidable. I do not however like being taken for granted and just being told sorry. I am soft too but will have to get something written up for this parent so it doesn't become a habit! It does impact on our own family life and this does get forgotten.

[shortstuff]

I am constantly getting asked if they can be late. I don't mind when it's only 30 mins but there have been occasions when it's been 9pm and they are only just collecting their kids. It takes up my whole evening and puts my DH in a bad mood. After 2 years its hard to start saying no and I think I'm going to have to put up with it! If you don't want this to start then you need to be firm now, not like me! I'm too soft!

It's never too late. Stand up for yourself and say NO. It's a harsh lesson we all need to learn, me included sometimes.

[MiniKins]

Mmmmm ~ don't shoot me down, but within reason I think this is par for the course ~ part of setting you above others and playing to your advantage when it comes to getting business.

We have parents who know they can rely on us to do this if we possibly can, and we don't refuse if we 'just don't feel like it' ~ they know that if we say we can't there is a valid reason. In return we know our parents will go out of their way to help us out (if we need an early collection or time off for example). Again it's just the way we prefer to do things, works for us, but probably doesn't suit the majority.

I totally take on board the problems it might cause you 'youngsters' with your own families (Mrs MiniKins and I are both in our 50's), but for others I would say that it won't do your reputation and business any harm to accommodate this situation if you possibly can.

The secret is to keep these requests (on both sides) for genuine reasons and we really believe it goes a long way to enhance our relationship with our parents.

So, if your unhappy about doing it…don't…but equally if you can…why not? ~ It's part of the pain (and flexibility) of being self employed. But if it's not a big issue, don't make it one.

And I might just add, this often turns into precious one-on-one time with the mindee ~ not all children get to share Mr MiniKins' special biscuits over a cup of tea.

….Childminder life according to Mr & Mrs Minikins!

[FussyElmo]

Mmmmm ~ don't shoot me down, but within reason I think this is par for the course ~ part of setting you above others and playing to your advantage when it comes to getting business.

We have parents who know they can rely on us to do this if we possibly can, and we don't refuse if we 'just don't feel like it' ~ they know that if we say we can't there is a valid reason. In return we know our parents will go out of their way to help us out (if we need an early collection or time off for example). Again it's just the way we prefer to do things, works for us, but probably doesn't suit the majority.

I totally take on board the problems it might cause you 'youngsters' with your own families (Mrs MiniKins and I are both in our 50's), but for others I would say that it won't do your reputation and business any harm to accommodate this situation if you possibly can.

The secret is to keep these requests (on both sides) for genuine reasons and we really believe it goes a long way to enhance our relationship with our parents.

So, if your unhappy about doing it…don't…but equally if you can…why not? ~ It's part of the pain (and flexibility) of being self employed. But if it's not a big issue, don't make it one.

And I might just add, this often turns into precious one-on-one time with the mindee ~ not all children get to share Mr MiniKins' special biscuits over a cup of tea.

….Childminder life according to Mr & Mrs Minikins!


I do get what you are saying to a point. I like the op will try to be flexible as much as I can with traffic, in the bad weather all my parents are told to just get to me safely. But for a parent to ring up and say she is working late and cant tell a time the child is being collecting is just rude and trying to take advantage of the cms good nature. Perhaps a phonecall asking would have been better :thumbsup:

[nikki thomson]

This has happened to me with a previous mindee but it was rare tbh, she was in the army and sometimes they'd say to her at 4.45 (she picked up lo at 5pm that you have go to another army barracks (45mins drive each way) on a fri and in rush hr to collect something, and as she was only a lance corporal she had to do as she was told, yes I was abit miffed as it was usually 15 mins before mindee was due to go but she was also very good and often picked her lo up at lunch time on a fri when she had a half day and I got payed till 5 so worked both ways. X

[MessybutHappy]

It's all about give and take really, but when it becomes all take take take, then it's time to put your foot down imo. I have one who seems unaware of major roadworks that will impact on the journey time to me. If it had been mentioned and if I'd been reassured that they would do their best to set out early, then I'd have been ok, but no, they just breeze in, no apology!

[The Juggler]

I do get what you are saying to a point. I like the op will try to be flexible as much as I can with traffic, in the bad weather all my parents are told to just get to me safely. But for a parent to ring up and say she is working late and cant tell a time the child is being collecting is just rude and trying to take advantage of the cms good nature. Perhaps a phonecall asking would have been better :thumbsup:

i'm with you fussy and, minikins, I also see your point. i have a parent who works for social services and sometimes there just is no-one else to collect. likewise I'm flexible to traffic jams and trains. I always make sure to tell parents in the morning if I have to shoot off somewhere straight after normal pick up time but otherwise they can assume it will be ok even if LO has to come with me somewhere.

When they ring and say so sorry i am stuck and they are genuinely sorry that's fine with me. But when they ring saying 'i will be late' and expect me to deal with it - there is a world of difference. Even if I could do I would not for this kind of parent as otherwise they would just walk all over you.

and minikins I know what you mean about one to one time. I hate working late but that one to one time is quite nice - as long as it doesn't happen too often :p

[miffy]

I think it's so rude of the parent to assume you will do it - would have been much nicer if shed asked and I think you're more inclined to try and help if that's the case. The arrogance of assuming you will just get on with it is what's annoying.

Miffy xx