When you rely on your car!

[sunview_cm]

Hi all,


I had such a bad day yesterday! I have been awake since 4 this morning and am seriously thinking about what I really want to do!

We have a 7 seater discovery, which had a power assisted steering fluid leak. Hubby took it to garage to get fixed after school run yesterday morning with the thought it was going to take 3 hours max. At 1:30 hubby ran and bloke said he had to take bit off as all rusty and clean it up but would try his hardest to get done for 2:30. So at this point I'm thinking oh hell were going to have walk for school run.

I had 1 mindee 2yrs and my daughter 3 yrs and needed to collect 2 mindees and my ds. I live just over 1 mile away from school along a busy road with a wide path so not ideal! Lucky a friend who was collecting their child from me offered to take my daughter to school, leaving me with the walk back. On the way to school I decided to ring my m in law to see if she could collect my 2 so I only had the mindees to walk back, for safety really!

Anyway we did the walk they behaved for a chocolate biscuit! But dad turns up at 4:30 to collect son and has a right go at me. Earlier that morning I had received a text from mum saying this boy had wet bed in night and maybe tired later. I did text mum at 1:30 to just tell mum that we might have to walk, but didn't think that it would be a problem, not ideal but it was either walking him or ringing them and telling them i couldn't do my job? He said I would of known they wouldn't of wanted me to walk him as mum had told me he'd been up all night ill, which I obviously corrected him on and That trust works both ways!! All I said was I'm sorry I thought I was doing what was best! He said I should of rang them and they would of sorted something out, but I honestly was thinking it would be done and dint realise the walk would be such a big deal!

Spoke to mum on phone last night as car is going to be out of action for a while and she said well what can I (me) do, could I get a taxi and take them to school! Could my mother in law take her son. I said no to these suggestions and said the only other option I have is to walk which she said she didn't want him doing. She's not happy, I'm not happy!

Really disheartened! Feel like giving the before and after schoolies up.
Plus car is going to cost a fortune to fix! I'm so stressed I could cry :'(

What does everyone else think?

X

[Kiddleywinks]

I wouldn't have been apologising that's for sure!

I too have a car, and sometimes, we even use it!!
How dare they send an ill child to you and then have a go because your car was out of use!
I would be saying 'yes I can use a taxi firm, when you have arranged and paid the taxi co, let me know which one you've chosen!'

I would be arranging a meeting and confirming to them the finer points of your contract regarding illness and outings.
I don't contact my parents to let them know if we are using the car or walking, and if a child isn't well enough to do some walking then they're too ill to be here.

[christine e]

I too live a distance from school and walking is a problem on a regular basis (our walk is about a mile and a half). Is the mindee in question one of those who you collected from school? Is so, how old is he? First thoughts are that if he was ok to be in school all day then he was ok to walk a mile home.

[sunview_cm]

Yes I walked him from school. He walked fine!

I feel I was helping them out as I was faced with 2 options 1 ring them and they would have to organise something quick or 2 walk them. I thought I chose the best option!

I now thinking of ways of sorting the situation. I may just explain that there maybe occasions that we have to walk, I can't guarantee the car won't be out of service again and if they feel I don't offer them enough reliability then perhaps they should speak to the other lady registering in the village. I don't want them staying with me because they feel they have to other option!

What do you think?
X

[Kiddleywinks]

If you feel you are not able to meet their needs - and I know I certainly wouldn't lol (my 2 yr old regularly walks over 4 miles a day), then do as you suggest, offer them the option of giving notice.

How do you feel now you've slept on it?

[CLL]

I think it is ridiculous that the parents of a school age child do not want him to walk. They are also telling you off in front of the children and how to run your business which is something I wouldn't like. it is bad enough when you get bossed around being employed but not when you run your own business. I would have a very short, polite conversation stating that you may use the car or walk at your choosing. If she is not happy with that then you accept her termination and could she put it in writing.

[kellib]

I'd be telling them where to go, in a nice polite way of course!

They have no right to tell you whether you can or can't walk, is he one of these kids who is ferried around everywhere in a car?

I have a car but I don't use it that much for work as I prefer to get the kids out walking, we do use it sometimes obviously like when weather is bad but I never tell parents one way or the other.

[sunview_cm]

He walks with mum but they live in the village. Think she thinks it's too far or too dangerous! I don't really know!

I will be having a good think later today and probably writing a polite email this evening.

Even when she rang up she didn't apologise, unless she doesn't know what exactly was said but she did say I had a parent have a go at me this morning at work. I said no its not nice!!! She works in a nursery.

The more I think about the more annoyed I feel!

Thanks everyone xx

[Ripeberry]

Could be that they thought the route is dangerous. I can't believe for one minute a parent would be angry because their child had to walk and get exercise! I have to rely on my car because although the school and pre-schools are within half a mile of each other. There are no pavements suitable for a pushchair and very busy roads with no-where to cross!
Horrid when cars break down :(

[mazza58]

Don't understand some parents, if the child had been ill then he should not have been at school surely, and if he had been at school all day then he must have been running around at playtime etc so why could he not walk home. If they were my mindee parents they would struggle with me as i do not drive so we walk everywhere.

[Helen79]

How old is he? I'd tell her that you can't take a taxi as you wouldn't have the correct car seats so would be putting all the children in danger in an accident. If it's not written in your contract that you will always use the car and he will never have to walk then she there's not a lot she can do about it. She either lets him walk or she can give you 4 weeks paid notice.

I nearly always use my car for school runs (about 2 mile round trip) but sometimes we walk if the car's in the garage or the really weathers nice. I don't tell parents when we walk. Sometimes we'll get the bus up to school so the littlies don't have to walk too far but couldn't afford the bus home again with paying for the schoolies.

[sunview_cm]

He's 5.

At first I thought she was suggesting arranging a taxi to take him then she said "no you get a taxi and take them to school that way!" !!!!!!! Eh no! 1 that would cost a fortune and 2 I would have to mess about all my ey children.

She can't have it both ways! Yesterday I was made to feel I shouldn't of used my own initiative to ensure their child got home safely from school then she makes it clear that me not having a car is my problem and getting her son to school is my problem too.

I did say i wouldnt be willing to do the walk on a friday because of the combination of children i have, i dont think i could manage them on such a walk safely. i've told her i wont charge her! What more can i do!?

i can only apologise, but these things happen!

[nikkiv]

We walk to school and home I do have a car or did have a car it went so wrong and would have been so costly so until I get a new one we will be walking I would be saying that actually even when the cars back you may well or the children may well choose to walk, good healthy exercise, then that way if they don't like it I'm afraid beat they go else where! My son and mindees love walking we did road safety for the last 10 days and all had a certificate at the end, we play eye spy and snail hunt!!!

Don't let it worry you xxx

[fionamal]

I wouldn't be apologising.

My kids all have a 2mile round trip every day. Even my 2.5year old walks it no problems and I make sure that all my parents know that we walk. I take the car in the morning depending on how many I have but at night we have to walk and in all weathers. Its good for the children, plenty of fresh air and exercise

[wendywu]

Uless its stated in the contract that you will always transport him to school via car then she can go whistle. You are contracted to take him to school that is all.
How you choose to do is entirely up to you, if you wish to skip to school in a bathing suit and waving a daisy above your head then so be it. As long as their little darling walks throught the school gate on time then your part of the deal is done. SOME PARENTS :angry:

[TooEarlyForGin?]

Uless its stated in the contract that you will always transport him to school via car then she can go whistle. You are contracted to take him to school that is all.
How you choose to do is entirely up to you, if you wish to skip to school in a bathing suit and waving a daisy above your head then so be it. As long as their little darling walks throught the school gate on time then your part of the deal is done. SOME PARENTS :angry:

Exactly, stop apologising you did your very best under difficult circumstances. Cars can break down and you still went out of your way to try and arrange an alternative solution.

I would ask for a meeting and discuss with the parents what their expectations are. As others have said, the fact they admitted he had been ill in the night would have set warning bells ringing. I would mentioned that if the car isn't available you will call the parents to pick up from school or THEY make other arrangements if they are not happy with you walking. We are not here to run their lives for them.

[wendywu]

Exactly, stop apologising you did your very best under difficult circumstances. Cars can break down and you still went out of your way to try and arrange an alternative solution.

I would ask for a meeting and discuss with the parents what their expectations are. As others have said, the fact they admitted he had been ill in the night would have set warning bells ringing. I would mentioned that if the car isn't available you will call the parents to pick up from school or THEY make other arrangements if they are not happy with you walking. We are not here to run their lives for them.

No she is not allowed to run with him to school either :laughing::clapping:

[Koala]

OMG how rude.

I would ring her and suggest they took their son to school themselves from now on as you do not have a car to continue, this is an unplanned, unavoidable inconvenience and something that you are sincerely sorry about (snigger with two fingers down the phone).

How terrible to make you feel so bad, dirty trick of parents sending a 'sick' child to school, this alone would give you good cause to terminate their contract immediately, they have hoodwinked you into looking after a sick child because they can't be :censored: to face up to their responsibility, and then they have the cheek to Call you!

I know what I would do!! :thumbsup:

[loocyloo]

i would be feeling the need to walk everywhere with this child!

xxx

[sunview_cm]

Update: I sent a well worded email message at lunch time. Offering to give her the details of new childminder in the area who lives in the village and can perhaps be more reliable than me! But I wasn't apologetic this time, just to the point. Asked them in future if they have any issues to not voice them in front of the children while I was childminding etc

She was understanding and trying to mend what damage was done but she went off to speak to hubby to ask if I was faced with the situation again could I walk him and I could hear him reply( don't think she realised I could hear). He replied in what I would describe as an aggressive voice " only as a last resort we would have to try and arrange something" then she said something and he replied" well it will have to be!". So she's wanting to continue but I said that is going to no good if hubby isn't happy, which she replied he will do as he's told! Which I said was not really useful as we are the ones that have to deal with each other (as he drops and collects).

Didn't really know what else to say. I said well we'll see how it goes but I suppose the truth is if he's attitude is a negative one towards me I don't want to do it anymore!

[Helen Dempster]

My car has been out of action quite a bit lately too - last week it was in having it's MOT, so we had to walk. I have my own DS (6yo), 2x 3yo girls, a baby and a 7yo mindee. None of the parents mind them walking, and they're all really good with the roads/safety etc. In fact, the one I struggle with mostly is the 7yo!

Yes, it's a pain, but I always turn it into a fun, learning experience. See what we can see on our walk, read numbers, road signs etc. It's easier on the walk home, admittedly, as we have more time.

I certainly wouldn't be apologising OR paying for a taxi!! Some people.... :angry:

[sunview_cm]

Could anyone advise me please?
While having 3 days of being stuck at home without a car, not being able to do the school run and only having eyfs children I have been thinking about cutting back. Think I have been pushing myself too hard. Filling places because I can and not really thinking about the work. So now am thinking of perhaps dropping the before and after school children. Currently I have 3 before and after school kids( not everyday) which includes the one I talk about in this thread and another is a friends child who I also have a sibling of. I wouldn't want to let my friend down if I did this or loose the eyfs child so how can I do this diplomatically!
I couldn't just say I no longer provide before and father school care as I would for this child on a Monday and Friday.
How would you end contract for the other 2? Do I give a reason? Do I do it face to face baring in mind I only really see dad of above child and don't want to approach him with this. Could I write a letter or e-mail? They won't be happy and I don't like letting people down and worry they may bad mouth me but I don't really feel happy!

I use to work to live and now I feel I do the opposite.

Advice needed please! X

[blue bear]

A mile is not far, goodness when I was a kid we walked 10 miles to the nearest market.(don't I sound old)
Tell them tough, you will decide wether to walk or drive and if dad don't like it he knows where the door is. No more apologising and no more asking what he thinks just tell him (not her) how it's going to be.

[jackie 7]

How precious is this child? Mum should have been pleased her darling was getting exercise. I am so glad I only have non schoolies.

[CLL]

Just write them both a brief letter stating that you will no longer be able to provide them with wrap around care, starting from x. You have enjoyed looking after their child and you wish them well. Don't go into details about why. Even though I have my 4yo son and I walk him to school everyday I will not do wrap around care, too hard work for too little money. I only have EY children and it is great!