Dilemma..what would you do?

[KatieFS]

Hello all my on line buddies
I need some advice, really not sure what to do but feel its not right and that I ought to do something.
I look after a 6 y/o boy. he is from a single parent family, suffice to say things are complicated at home, busy and at times sounds a bit chaotic, he also has a younger brother and mum works f/t. he often stays over at grandparents home and does often say he misses his mummy.
he mentioned this morning when I asked him what he did this wkend, I stayed home on my own and saw some blood. I said oh who was home with you, he said no one. I approached with caution, asked a few questions. what i gathered is that it has happened before and he had hurt himself and there was blood. (not sure if this was that day or another day).
now then he can fabricate things, and does use a bit of fiction.
you might have seen previous threads from me re 6 y/o with some behaviour probs and that I need to talk to mum about it - as he has started making things up about my own family. I;m still waiting for mum to get in touch with me to talk.
I feel that I need to do something, it may be it is made up, but felt maybe he told me as he felt it wasnt right himself (but didnt have the right words to say)
what would you do.....

[natalieatk]

Like you say children can make things up?but what if he isn't, what if he was home alone make sure when you speak to the parent that you make her aware you may take it further, first response need to be called really as this is neglect! X

[ziggy]

well first of all, well done to his mum for working full time and not expecting the state to support her. Having been a single parent many years ago i know how difficult it is, plus she is lucky to have supportive parents.

This is a hard one if you're not sure he is telling the truth about being alone.

Could you mention it to mum when she collects? If not i think i would just make a note of what he has said.

[Helen79]

I would write it up first and speak to mum and see what she says. My children have complained that I've left them alone the house for too long by themselves, when actually I've just popped out to clean the car or take the bins out (have to take them to the end of the road so takes 5 mins).
The blood could be from anything, an old cut that he's knocked or he may have actually hurt himself while mum wasn't with him. See what mum says before making any more decisions.


e is from a single parent family, suffice to say things are complicated at home, busy and at times sounds a bit chaotic

I know that it isn't your intention but your first post implies that he is being neglected just because she is a single parent. Many single parents have to work full time and have to rely on family members for childcare either for work/courses/nights out etc, it is a daily struggle and is hard work but doesn't mean that because home life is chaotic and he stays with grandparents that he is being neglected or that mum isn't caring for and doing her best for her children.
Obviously you know the family best so can judge if there are further problems.

[KatieFS]

We no not implying that at all. I have up most respect fir their situation. But- If a 6 year old has been left home alone I would describe that as neglect. I don't know if he has made it all up, but think there is a chance it's happened. I think it's my responsibility to act on this information and not just assume its because she is busy or that its made up.

I will log it and contact the parent and take it from there.

[MessybutHappy]

Ok, going out on a limb here from what others are saying, but if you even think he may be telling the truth, surely you should be calling the local safeguarding advice line? What if you are right, he is telling the truth, and it happens again this weekend but with far worse consequences?

Before anyone jumps on me, I do understand the value of looking before jumping in, and I do understand the potential hornets nest, but there's a child involved here. The call may just be logged, or it may be the final piece in the jigsaw.

Messy but slightly nervous.

[Optimalstar]

There was a period of time when i was a single parent, working full time and trying to balance the care of 4 children. My youngest who was about 6 years old at the time used to tell people i sent her straight to bed when we got home and only fed her at weekends. I was fairly appreciative of the friend's parent who told me what she was saying so i could talk to her about it. I dread to think how that could have escalated out of control had anyone took her seriously.

I'm not saying this little boy isn't telling the truth but it does require some very gentle handling. Good luck x

[supermumy]

Being a single mum of four myself and a Childminder I know the stress and strains of juggling both (ok my plus side is working from home but way)
From what you have said the child could be looking for attention?
But again if you believe this true and likely like you have I would contact your local safeguarding team!
Maybe instead of asking mum If child was home alone (as not gonna admit really) maybe mention the child said he was hurt and was blood and was everything ok? (was their any marks )

[angeldelight]

Hello all my on line buddies
I need some advice, really not sure what to do but feel its not right and that I ought to do something.
I look after a 6 y/o boy. he is from a single parent family, suffice to say things are complicated at home, busy and at times sounds a bit chaotic, he also has a younger brother and mum works f/t. he often stays over at grandparents home and does often say he misses his mummy.
he mentioned this morning when I asked him what he did this wkend, I stayed home on my own and saw some blood. I said oh who was home with you, he said no one. I approached with caution, asked a few questions. what i gathered is that it has happened before and he had hurt himself and there was blood. (not sure if this was that day or another day).
now then he can fabricate things, and does use a bit of fiction.
you might have seen previous threads from me re 6 y/o with some behaviour probs and that I need to talk to mum about it - as he has started making things up about my own family. I;m still waiting for mum to get in touch with me to talk.
I feel that I need to do something, it may be it is made up, but felt maybe he told me as he felt it wasnt right himself (but didnt have the right words to say)
what would you do.....

I think the main issue here you have to ask yourself Katie is .... is there actually an injury? Where did the blood come from ... you do not mention that you have seen any injuries , did you ask him?

You said he told you that he has hurt himself before, have you seen any marks, cuts or injuries before?

Of course he could be telling the truth

Of course it could be fabrication

Injuries would tell the story in itself I feel

Angel xx

[blue bear]

A chi,d has told you he has been left home alone, it's not for you to investigate you have a duty to report your concern.

[Helen79]

A chi,d has told you he has been left home alone, it's not for you to investigate you have a duty to report your concern.

On safeguarding training though they tell us to speak to parents first about what a child has said before deciding whether to report concerns like this. They can't investigate everytime a 6 year old tells a teacher, childminder or nursery worker something like this.

Parent could have been next door chatting to neighbour over the fence, hanging washing out, hoovering the car, all of which seem like ages to a 6 year old who may not have realised mum has gone into the garden, and maybe the child saw some blood on a cartoon he was watching while he thought mum was out. On the other hand they may have been out partying til 3am leaving the child alone and child may have been bleeding from a serious injury. Talking to the parent and knowing any background will help find out the truth and then decide whether to phone ss or not.

[hectors house]

I know it is shocking to us who worry about leaving the children for a 30 second toilet stop, whilst leaving the loo door open to hear what the little darlings are up to! but it isn't illegal to leave children home on their own, IF they can manage or look after themselves - I'm sure there was a post on here a couple of weeks ago about the fact that there isn't an age limit for leaving children unattended - seems bonkers that you can't leave them strapped, locked in a car outside a shop but you can leave them in a house!

It may be like others said that mum just popped outside to hang out washing or I remember once that my daughter was home from school ill and was upstairs in bed and I popped out to put something in the dustbin. I saw that an elderly man down our road had fallen down his front step and couldn't get up, I took the decision to go and help him which took longer than I thought to get him up and into his house and ring his emergency contact on my mobile- it turned out his phone wasn't working which was why he came out into the street, but all this time my 7 year old was in bed, in the house on her own.

You do however need to document the conversation and I would mention it to mum in a "by the way, X said" sort of way, rather than accusing her of anything.

[bindy]

Why don't you speak to TAS they are there to give you advice.

[jackie 7]

I would talk to TAS. They will listen to you and may even help the mum.