The cheek of it!!

[tiredandemotional]

Grrr, I am so mad.:angry: I have just opened an email from a parent whose child attends three mornings, I drop her off at school. She is supposed to come at 7.30am-something her mum never honors. She is either too early and I am not ready or late- after 8am- and I have rushed around to get me and my kids up and ready for nothing. She rarely lets me know (and in fact hasn't even turned up a few times without letting me know) so when I sent her invoice this week (which she is always late paying and needs a reminder most weeks) I asked if she could let me know if she is going to be very late, especially if it is planned (I wouldn't expect it in an emergency).

She has paid (hurrah) but has now pointed out that her child is sometimes late to school when walking with me and "XXX's record of attendance and punctuality is important to me therefore could you please ensure XXX arrives at school on time." I do confess that a few times we have been late but not significantly so and she should try getting up to six kids to school on time when they are all dragging behind and I have to nag them constantly, her child included. She has one child who she drives everywhere! I know that is not the point but she is obviously taken offense at my request about time keeping and has decided on a game of tit for tat. This could go on forever. My immediate reaction is to give her notice as I am fed up with it all and she is only £18/week (which she beat me down on in the first place - I should have been warned then!) but I am due to go on maternity leave in 10 weeks time so think perhaps I should just suck it and see - I really don't want to end on a bad note. Need some pearls of wisdom please!!

[blue bear]

I'd probably just leave it and ride it out. Can you leave home a bit earlier to get to school on time?

[Zoomie]

I would just try and suck it up to.

I live literally 2 minutes walk from our local school, but in the winter, we start getting ready 15 minutes before the school doors open and in the summer it is 10 minutes before the doors open. Its better to linger around for a minute or two than be late.

When I was much younger my boss gave me the opportunity to run my own department. I'll never forget him saying that it was my job to ensure that there were 'no complaints against my department'. Don't give this woman any excuses. xx

[Kirstylob]

If she is dropping off late does that have a knock on effect and mean you leave later for school? If so maybe you could point out ( in a nice way) that if she was on time you would have all the children at school on time!

[Stapleton83]

If you only have 10 weeks left then I would stick with it as realistically she will be finished at school even before that - I think!

Much like one of the others I would say something like you do your utmost to get there on time, however, it would be beneficial if all the children who I take to school arrive in plenty of time as otherwise it can have a knock on effect. It may even be worth doing a note out to all, so that she doesn't feel singled out!

Equally try and give yourself an extra 5 mins even put one of the clocks forward to help you.

chin up x

[Daftbat]

I too think that if you only have 10 weeks to go on maternity leave I would just get on with it. £18 per week is still £180 over 10 weeks which I am sure will come in handy.

Regarding the point of her email i.e. being late getting to school I must admit that I can see her point. I often take more than 6 children to school and I have to say that I have never, ever been late. If parents are late getting to me they end up taking them themselves as I always confirm that I WILL leave the house at a certain time each day. We do provide a service at the end of the day and this could be understood to be a breach of that service. Sorry, I don't mean to offend. The bit about her not turning up some days without notice and being uncertain of when she will actually bring the child is definitely something you need to talk to her about especially if she is significantly early.

I hope that you manage to sort it out and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy:thumbsup:

[bunyip]

Grrr, I am so mad.:angry: I have just opened an email from a parent whose child attends three mornings, I drop her off at school. She is supposed to come at 7.30am-something her mum never honors. She is either too early and I am not ready or late- after 8am- and I have rushed around to get me and my kids up and ready for nothing. She rarely lets me know (and in fact hasn't even turned up a few times without letting me know) so when I sent her invoice this week (which she is always late paying and needs a reminder most weeks) I asked if she could let me know if she is going to be very late, especially if it is planned (I wouldn't expect it in an emergency).

She has paid (hurrah) but has now pointed out that her child is sometimes late to school when walking with me and "XXX's record of attendance and punctuality is important to me therefore could you please ensure XXX arrives at school on time." I do confess that a few times we have been late but not significantly so and she should try getting up to six kids to school on time when they are all dragging behind and I have to nag them constantly, her child included. She has one child who she drives everywhere! I know that is not the point but she is obviously taken offense at my request about time keeping and has decided on a game of tit for tat. This could go on forever. My immediate reaction is to give her notice as I am fed up with it all and she is only £18/week (which she beat me down on in the first place - I should have been warned then!) but I am due to go on maternity leave in 10 weeks time so think perhaps I should just suck it and see - I really don't want to end on a bad note. Need some pearls of wisdom please!!

Parents arriving early can be a nuisance. I'd ask her why that's happening. Sometimes traffic can cause a huge variation in arrival times (early or late, either way) so it might not be entirely within mum's control. Talk before making a value judgement on this one. I personally like to be ready at least 15 minutes before the first lo is due to arrive, rather than aiming to have myself ready just as the doorbell rings. But then I like to be early for most things: I'm the kind of person who spends ages in airport lounges cos I prefer that to being the kind of person who misses flights.

Some CMs find lateness very annoying. I'm cool with it just so long as it doesn't have a knock-on effect on the routine. AFAIC, it's my job to be ready for the arrivals. If they're a bit late I can grab a coffee and watch the lovely Carol read the weather forecast :rolleyes: - I don't spent the time resenting the fact that I got up and got ready only to find myself all alone (with Carol).

Where it becomes a problem for me is when lateness means being late for school or activities, and I simply will not wait. Parents are told they will have to find me if I already set off anywhere with other children - and they know I'll d4mn-well do it !

I think the really difficult situation (and this may well be what your facing) is when you have to feed the child breakfast before the school run, and mum's lateness hasn't left sufficient time for breakfast and the walk to school. All you can do is talk to mum and insist on a timely arrival, as I'd find it hard to send a child off to the chalkface with an empty belly. ie. "I absolutely share your concerns about attendance and punctuality. It is therefore absolutely essential that XXXXX arrives at my premises by #### hours in order to give us any chance of partaking in a healthy breakfast and walking to school in order to arrive there in good time."

The solution to late payments is simple. Apply your late fees and switch to payment in advance asap with a note to the effect that no payment = no care, with no exceptions (yes, you will be turned away at the door if you have failed to pay.)

[supermumy]

I too think that if you only have 10 weeks to go on maternity leave I would just get on with it. £18 per week is still £180 over 10 weeks which I am sure will come in handy.

Regarding the point of her email i.e. being late getting to school I must admit that I can see her point. I often take more than 6 children to school and I have to say that I have never, ever been late. If parents are late getting to me they end up taking them themselves as I always confirm that I WILL leave the house at a certain time each day. We do provide a service at the end of the day and this could be understood to be a breach of that service. Sorry, I don't mean to offend. The bit about her not turning up some days without notice and being uncertain of when she will actually bring the child is definitely something you need to talk to her about especially if she is significantly early.

I hope that you manage to sort it out and good luck with the rest of your pregnancy:thumbsup:

Gotta agree :)

[tiredandemotional]

Lots of interesting points, thank you for your replies. I do agree that I should never be late and I can't really blame her for that - she is early more often than not and the mindee doesn't have breakfast at mine anymore (she used to but stopped for some reason - mum is a terrible communicator so I don't know why!) I think it is just the mechanics of getting them all out of the door earlier than usual as the junior school where she goes (and which is next door to the infants I drop at other days) starts earlier and I haven't adjusted my routine sufficiently as I confess I am a late kind of person anyway :blush: Although, in my defense, I walk much faster, at 7 months pregnant, than the mindees (who are generally chauffeured everywhere!), mine take scooters so wizz ahead. So I have decided to just reply with:

"Thank you for your prompt payment and for your email. I am sorry to hear this and will of course endeavor to get XXX to school on time in future. If you could provide her scooter on days she comes to me that would be much appreciated as I do find I can maintain a faster pace, and get the children to school quicker, when mine scoot rather than being nagged to keep up."

Hopefully this will appease her but at the same time make her realise it isn't always in my hands and there is a solution (her child sometimes brings a scooter so I know she is happy with that).

I will stick out the 10 weeks although I am tempted to give her an earlier maternity leave date than the others as I am desperate to 'get rid' of her (I am sending the newsletters out with that info next week) but this could of course backfire...

[supermumy]

Maybe leave out the nagged bit sounds to me than like you nag at mindee to keep up?
But otherwise sounds good :)

[tiredandemotional]

Maybe leave out the nagged bit sounds to me than like you nag at mindee to keep up?
But otherwise sounds good :)

Thanks Supermumy, good idea (although I do have to nag mindee to keep up sometimes, maybe best not to admit it!) Will leave till after bank holiday and reply as I don't want her to think she has got to me (although she has :mad:) xx

[lizduncan72]

I'm afraid I agree totally with mum on the issue of her child being late for school, sorry. It is very important to me that my children are on time for school and if I was paying someone to take them there I would expect them to ensure that my kids were on time and if they did not i would be seriously considering terminating contract. Any time I've had school age mindees I've left the house even earlier than with my own kids to ensure that even with slow walkers we get there in plenty time. Parents are all told what time we leave the house and if they are not here on time they will have to meet me at school.

[scottishlass]

I'm afraid I agree totally with mum on the issue of her child being late for school, sorry. It is very important to me that my children are on time for school and if I was paying someone to take them there I would expect them to ensure that my kids were on time and if they did not i would be seriously considering terminating contract. Any time I've had school age mindees I've left the house even earlier than with my own kids to ensure that even with slow walkers we get there in plenty time. Parents are all told what time we leave the house and if they are not here on time they will have to meet me at school.

Yeah I must admit I am the same about being to school on time - most days it is just my 2 I am taking to school - just have another schoolie 1 day a week but always make sure we are on time as at our school the kids get a hard time if they are late. I tell my wee ones parents who are dropping off if they are not at mine for 8.30 we are away to school.

Can sympathise with not knowing if someone is coming late or at all - I have one who is only here about 1/2 there says and more often than not I am having to chase to see where they are - very annoying! Xx

[tiredandemotional]

I'm afraid I agree totally with mum on the issue of her child being late for school, sorry. It is very important to me that my children are on time for school and if I was paying someone to take them there I would expect them to ensure that my kids were on time and if they did not i would be seriously considering terminating contract. Any time I've had school age mindees I've left the house even earlier than with my own kids to ensure that even with slow walkers we get there in plenty time. Parents are all told what time we leave the house and if they are not here on time they will have to meet me at school.

Yes, well I agree too and my child has never been late for school (and only ever taken one day off sick in nearly two years) but I am cross because this is the first I have heard of it (it is a different school to my sons and the other mindees and therefore I am not aware that she is late when she goes in) and the mum has used it as a 'tit for tat' against my complaint to her (not the first time I have had to mention her poor time keeping and late paying) TBH I would be delighted if she did terminate the contract - she and her child are a lot of hard work for only £18/week! Anyway, onwards and upwards...

[shortstuff]

Yes, well I agree too and my child has never been late for school (and only ever taken one day off sick in nearly two years) but I am cross because this is the first I have heard of it (it is a different school to my sons and the other mindees and therefore I am not aware that she is late when she goes in) and the mum has used it as a 'tit for tat' against my complaint to her (not the first time I have had to mention her poor time keeping and late paying) TBH I would be delighted if she did terminate the contract - she and her child are a lot of hard work for only £18/week! Anyway, onwards and upwards...

If dealing with this child and parent is stressing you out as much as it sounds you really should consider giving notice. I am aware first hand of how bad blood pressure in a pregnancy can be. You sound really unhappy about the deal you took part in with the parent and also about having to get to school earlier. I'm sure the time of juniors was set with parents needing to get children to both schools punctually in mind. You stated you haven't adjusted your schedule enough to allow you to get her to school on time, so how can you be unhappy with mum or child? You control when you set out to school, no one else. Personally I leave a good ten minutes earlier than needed to allow for the delays that dealing with children can cause. This prevents unhappiness all the way round as I'm sure the children don't enjoy being nagged at as much as you don't like doing it.

[bunyip]

Yes, well I agree too and my child has never been late for school (and only ever taken one day off sick in nearly two years) but I am cross because this is the first I have heard of it (it is a different school to my sons and the other mindees and therefore I am not aware that she is late when she goes in) and the mum has used it as a 'tit for tat' against my complaint to her (not the first time I have had to mention her poor time keeping and late paying) TBH I would be delighted if she did terminate the contract - she and her child are a lot of hard work for only £18/week! Anyway, onwards and upwards...

I'm confused. :confused:Maybe I'm being a bit dim (it's been said before, usually by Mrs Bunyip) but there are a couple of things I don't understand:-

1. Are you saying that you get the girl to her school in good time, but the school is marking her late?

2. Since you "...would be delighted if [mum] did terminate the contract..." why not take the initiative and give her notice?

Am I missing something? :confused:

[FussyElmo]

Ok lesson learnt here if you are going to have a word with parents about their timekeeping make sure yours is impeccable.

[tiredandemotional]

I'm confused. :confused:Maybe I'm being a bit dim (it's been said before, usually by Mrs Bunyip) but there are a couple of things I don't understand:-

1. Are you saying that you get the girl to her school in good time, but the school is marking her late?

2. Since you "...would be delighted if [mum] did terminate the contract..." why not take the initiative and give her notice?

Am I missing something? :confused:

1. I wasn't aware that she was being marked late - the Junior school has a different system to the infants (where at the latter you have to take them through reception and sign the late book) so it isn't obvious she is late - at least not to me.
2. I would rather not leave on a bad note if it can be helped but if she wanted to finish things then it would, TBH, make my life easier (I have found her to be quite a difficult client and I'm sure we all have a few of those!). I only have 10 weeks until I take maternity leave so it seems best to hang on until then.

Anyway, I sent a suitably humble apology to mum today and asked that she let me know about any concerns she has at the time and she has sent back a friendly email so I am hoping all is resolved now and I would like this topic to be closed if possible. TBH I have found reading some of the replies on here more hazardous to my blood pressure than the whole incident itself :eek: