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serin
28-04-2013, 06:28 PM
I have a meeting tomorrow. It is for a school I already pick up from. The child is 4 and has speech and language difficulty. The mindee I already have is in the same class so when I asked if she knows him she said he is Very Naughty. She is also 4 obviously but could not emthasise it enough. She said he talks different and doesnt understand people when they talk. The school currently has him on half a day because they dont think he can handle a full day.

Am I taking on too much? Would you run a mile? Mum is coming tomorrow to see me after she drops him off to school.

Any tips or questions you think I should ask? Any help and advice would be great.

Thanks.

Supernanny86
28-04-2013, 06:46 PM
My brother had severe s&l problems. It is very hard to get your head around at first. You have to sort of tune in to the child. They can be naughty due to understanding of language being delayed too so easily sorted by talking to them like a younger child. My brother had to have weekly therapy and couldn't even put 2 words together. He can now but still uses basic language. He still gets cross a bit but we know how to deal with him now.

He's a very visual learner, and kids obviously realise he has some issues but we've always taught him to be who he is.

Guess what I'm trying to say is I'd take him as I'm used to that kind of child. They can have their problems but are very loveable at the same time.

I wouldnt take a child just because they have difficulties but then maybe that's just me, I love a challenge, and I'd hate it done to me. They just need support, structure, routine and help to feel included. What a lovely help it'd be to be with other children.

At the end of the day your the only one who can decide whether you can cope. If it was me I'd go for it

Kxx

blue bear
28-04-2013, 07:11 PM
How many other children would you have, would his behaviour affect the care for the other children. Personally I'd want to meet the child and the parent, lay your cards on the table ask what difficulties mum could foresee and what sort of plans you would need to put into place to support this child and keep the status quo for all the children in your care.
Maybe have an extended settling in period.
Only you can know if it's for you, Iwouldnt want someone taking on the care of my child just because they feel they have to. Sometimes it's the thought that's more scary than the actual day to day reality and sometimes it's wiser to say no.

partyrings
28-04-2013, 07:27 PM
I have a child in my setting who is a little younger and I must say that it is very hard work. The amount of adjustments to the setting is emense plus I have lost business due to the child screaming as he was fustrated at a situation. The other parents within my setting have questioned the care their children are recieving during outbursts. I would think very hard before taking on a child that even the school says full days are too much. You only have one pair of hands and think about how you can continue to meet the needs of the other children in your setting. Please do not think for one minute that I am anti complex needs, just sometimes childrens needs are best met in other settings with more hands.

CLL
28-04-2013, 07:30 PM
I would just be concerned that mum is coming without the child. I would get all info from mum and then see them both again. You obviously have to be very careful to not refuse him because of his difficulties. See how he goes maybe he is just difficult at school because he does not get enough attention. Do you think you can offer him what he needs? Look at all the children in your care and see if you can give him the time he needs as well as still looking after the others.

rosebud
28-04-2013, 07:33 PM
How many other children would you have, would his behaviour affect the care for the other children. Personally I'd want to meet the child and the parent, lay your cards on the table ask what difficulties mum could foresee and what sort of plans you would need to put into place to support this child and keep the status quo for all the children in your care.
Maybe have an extended settling in period.
Only you can know if it's for you, Iwouldnt want someone taking on the care of my child just because they feel they have to. Sometimes it's the thought that's more scary than the actual day to day reality and sometimes it's wiser to say no.

Agree with this advice and the previous poster too. Only you know what you can manage.

I have just finished caring for a child with delayed development who had no speech at the beginning but was saying single words by the time she left. I found that because we work with a low child-adult ratio I got to know her so well that the lack of speech didn't matter, I could understand her without it. You care for babies who can't speak at all and yet they are still able to communicate with you. The behaviour issues in school could well be caused by lack of understanding which is less likely to be an issue for you as you will get to know him/her better but see what the parents say and emphasise your settling in period.

serin
28-04-2013, 07:36 PM
I would just be concerned that mum is coming without the child. I would get all info from mum and then see them both again. You obviously have to be very careful to not refuse him because of his difficulties. See how he goes maybe he is just difficult at school because he does not get enough attention. Do you think you can offer him what he needs? Look at all the children in your care and see if you can give him the time he needs as well as still looking after the others.

Well I have 2 18 month old as well so I have to be careful with how he is with them. 1 on 1 attention is not going to be easy with so many children if that's what he will need.
I think I will tell her that my policy is a 1 month trial and see how it goes. I think I could speak to the teachers too for any advice and guidance.

Supernanny86
28-04-2013, 08:22 PM
I look after18m twins and my brother gets on so well with them. Because of his delays he loves younger children and also it's less strain on him as they don't communicate at his expected age either.

You'll probably be amazed with how well the child copes and communicate in his own way.

See how the meeting goes and you'll know the right thing to do for you and mindees.

You never know this bit of independence away from family etc and with younger children may be the boost he needs.

Keep us posted :) :)

serin
28-04-2013, 09:23 PM
I look after18m twins and my brother gets on so well with them. Because of his delays he loves younger children and also it's less strain on him as they don't communicate at his expected age either.

You'll probably be amazed with how well the child copes and communicate in his own way.

See how the meeting goes and you'll know the right thing to do for you and mindees.

You never know this bit of independence away from family etc and with younger children may be the boost he needs.

Keep us posted :) :)

Supernanny that is very interesting and sounds like it makes a lot of sense.

AliceK
29-04-2013, 12:57 PM
I would ask to meet the child but would probably take her on. My DD now 5 spent almost 3 yrs with SALT due to her medical conditions, she has numerous issues, hearing impairment (she wears hearing aids), severe myopia, hypermobility which can cause so much pain she can't walk sometimes. She has been signed off S&L now which was such a milestone for us. I guess I'm used to dealing with additional needs and her school is fantastic with all the extra work and time they put in with her. I would like to think I would be able to help with this child.
Good Luck :thumbsup:

serin
29-04-2013, 08:01 PM
I saw mum today. Slightly annoying start. She was meant to arrive 9am and emailed me at 9:18 to ask directions. I didnt see the email until 9:45 and she'd email again saying she will get to mine 10:30. I had a mindee arriving at 11 so I was hoping when he comes he does not play up which he didnt. She was happy with everything and wanted me to fill in the forms for her college fund. I said that I would need to meet him first. I have said 1 months trial so we will see.
I then went to school later today and spoke to his teacher. I said my concerns on his S&L difficulties and his behaviour and whether they have any tips or ways of controlling his behaviour and she mentioned short statements eg sit down. She did give me a grin though and said I would say give him a trial day first. She did also show concern on how he would be with the other children I care for. Well mum and son are coming on Thursday so we will see how that goes.

room2grow
30-04-2013, 05:42 AM
I have had a 4 child who was excluded from school because of violent behaviour at school, they were 4 at the time. At my setting I never had any issues but was perminantly on edge.

kellyskidz!
30-04-2013, 09:31 AM
Looks like its going to be a classic 'Time will tell' situation. I think you're right to accept him on a trail basis and mum knows this too which is good as she'll be under no illusions if you decide not to continue care. I'm glad you didn't just dismiss the idea straight away and I wish you lots of luck for the trail month!:jump for joy:

serin
30-04-2013, 09:33 PM
Looks like its going to be a classic 'Time will tell' situation. I think you're right to accept him on a trail basis and mum knows this too which is good as she'll be under no illusions if you decide not to continue care. I'm glad you didn't just dismiss the idea straight away and I wish you lots of luck for the trail month!:jump for joy:

Well they are coming to see me Thursday so if I am not feeling it when they are here then I will tell her I have another interest and will be deciding by the end of the week. But I am waiting to see how he is first.

george
01-05-2013, 05:32 AM
I really would not go on your impressions that day, remember how you felt when mum was late for you and you had a mindee due who you hoped would behave, remember how you felt that pressure, mums will be much more, she knows you know he is behavioural needs, she will be feeling anxious as im sure so wants this to work and im sure as most children do he will pick up on this which potentially means he may play up, remember its a new strange environment to him, instead of been on tender hooks try to have some appropriate toys out and maybe some colouring activitys and books, you could even do a simple childrens questionaire. All about me with lots of colourful pictures on asking him what he likes to do etc for him to take away and fill out at home, you need more than a days trial, he needs time to settle and you need time to get to know him, take all the info about him you have, keep it in the back of your mind but start afresh he may really nice you and respond to you xx

Tazmin68
01-05-2013, 06:15 AM
If you do go ahead make sure you have settling in period which you can end without notice. I had a child come to me who lived with nan and only attended half days at reception. Nan told me it was because he could not settle at school. On the first day I collected him I was told to tell nan he had a physical morning. By the end of week 2 I realised the physical was hitting and kicking me and other mindees and by week 3 swearing. I ended contract after another mindee repeated the swearing. After ending it I later found out that he was born addicted to drugs and alcohol and that he had been to another minder where he slammed a baby's arm in the high chair and broke her arm.

FussyElmo
01-05-2013, 06:38 AM
Poor child. I wouldnt be taking what the teacher said too much to heart like you said they cant seem to deal with him and not wanting to by sending him home not doing a full day.

My son had severe s and l but no behavioural problems. The school were fabulous and put in lots of strategies to help him cope.

I agree with the previous poster that you will learn nothing come thursday. New place new adult new adult who probably cant understand him. Have you got any strategies in place to help him communicate pictures he can show you what ge wants simple signs.

Remember that child is locked in a word where no one seemingly understands him though I bet in his head he makes perfect sense. The behaviours could be his way of making people stop and try to understand him.

Good luck I hope mum and him find someone who can reach into his world but its not easy so if you think you really cannot then I wouldn't take him on.

Supernanny86
01-05-2013, 10:43 PM
Poor child. I wouldnt be taking what the teacher said too much to heart like you said they cant seem to deal with him and not wanting to by sending him home not doing a full day.

My son had severe s and l but no behavioural problems. The school were fabulous and put in lots of strategies to help him cope.

I agree with the previous poster that you will learn nothing come thursday. New place new adult new adult who probably cant understand him. Have you got any strategies in place to help him communicate pictures he can show you what ge wants simple signs.

Remember that child is locked in a word where no one seemingly understands him though I bet in his head he makes perfect sense. The behaviours could be his way of making people stop and try to understand him.

Good luck I hope mum and him find someone who can reach into his world but its not easy so if you think you really cannot then I wouldn't take him on.

I totally agree with fussy. I would have no problems helping a child like that but I have first hand experience of it. It's a leaning curve but that poor child is locked in. It's cruel, but given the chance. He will flourish once people understand him and what he needs.

Thursday will definitely wont be enough as those type of children have very low self esteem and are wary of talking to new people as they think they might sound funny, not be understood or accepted etc etc

Sounds to me like the poor boy has frustrations that he lets out behaviour wise as he can't communicate verbally what he really wants to.

My poor brother was locked in for ages. We had to go right back to mouth movement for speech sounds, something a child never normally has to think about. (Eg. When saying E we smile) He couldn't even put 2 words together at 5. But with a lot of help he talks in sentences now and he uses "safe language" (words he knows he can pronounce) and baby vocabulary sometimes but at least he can communicate now. The biggest thing was to never tell him he was wrong but use modelling, and the therapy was game based and fun!! He has a w and r reversal so just like Jonathan Ross!! Wayne Rooney is pronounced Rayne Wooney!! It's funny but now he's 11, he can laugh at himself and realises people are different.

There's no denying it'll be hard work and probably frustrating at times but it never normally takes long to tune into how they talk.

Keep us posted with what happens.

Kxx

FussyElmo
02-05-2013, 06:33 AM
I totally agree with fussy. I would have no problems helping a child like that but I have first hand experience of it. It's a leaning curve but that poor child is locked in. It's cruel, but given the chance. He will flourish once people understand him and what he needs.

Thursday will definitely wont be enough as those type of children have very low self esteem and are wary of talking to new people as they think they might sound funny, not be understood or accepted etc etc

Sounds to me like the poor boy has frustrations that he lets out behaviour wise as he can't communicate verbally what he really wants to.

My poor brother was locked in for ages. We had to go right back to mouth movement for speech sounds, something a child never normally has to think about. (Eg. When saying E we smile) He couldn't even put 2 words together at 5. But with a lot of help he talks in sentences now and he uses "safe language" (words he knows he can pronounce) and baby vocabulary sometimes but at least he can communicate now. The biggest thing was to never tell him he was wrong but use modelling, and the therapy was game based and fun!! He has a w and r reversal so just like Jonathan Ross!! Wayne Rooney is pronounced Rayne Wooney!! It's funny but now he's 11, he can laugh at himself and realises people are different.

There's no denying it'll be hard work and probably frustrating at times but it never normally takes long to tune into how they talk.

Keep us posted with what happens.

Kxx

Sounds very similar to my son. Learning all the sounds movements. Doing the tongue exercises. We also never told him he was wrong and if we knew what he was saying we gave him what he was asking for. School allowed him to point for his food at dinner and he had photos if his favourite stuff if he couldnt make himself be understood.

K is 11 and still will gabble if he is excited he has found high school a little difficult but he will get there. Speech therapy is still open to him if he wants to go back he finished about year 4 not ever getting the sound st :-D

Supernanny86
02-05-2013, 07:19 AM
Sounds very similar to my son. Learning all the sounds movements. Doing the tongue exercises. We also never told him he was wrong and if we knew what he was saying we gave him what he was asking for. School allowed him to point for his food at dinner and he had photos if his favourite stuff if he couldnt make himself be understood.

K is 11 and still will gabble if he is excited he has found high school a little difficult but he will get there. Speech therapy is still open to him if he wants to go back he finished about year 4 not ever getting the sound st :-D

You're right they do sound very similar! My brother starts high school this sept. we know he will struggle but they are such determined little things, they'll get there. My brother was discharged from therapy even though he still doesn't have all speech sounds properly. Maybe they'll never develop. Wouldn't change him for the world though, it makes him who he is, and he's got a fantastic sense of humour so makes up for it in other ways I guess :):):):)

Kxx