View Full Version : Unsettled child and notice period

22-04-2013, 09:25 PM
I've been minding for ten years. I recently took on a little one of 11 months and from day one has screamed all day evety day. After 4 weeks of this I've said to parents I feel I cannot continue. It's distressing for him, for me and for others in my care. I cannot do the usual things we would normally do - toddler group had been abandoned for 4 weeks and I'm neglecting the other 2 because this little one needs constant one to one. But the mother has said I have to give her 4 weeks notice! But I've told her its jeopardising the care of the other children and hes so upset but she's said I'm obliged to. Surely I'm not under these circumstances? I'm dreading him coming tomorrow :-(

22-04-2013, 09:33 PM
did you put a settling in period in the contract? Are you still within it?

Im not sure if you could say it is jeopardising the care of the other children as you have done so for the last four weeks. I will happily be corrected though.

22-04-2013, 09:44 PM
No I've had to call parents several times to collect him in the past 4 weeks as hes been so distressed. We've had discussions to try to work out ways to settle him which I've followed up in writing, the last one said I would persevere until end April but since concluding the situation really is not working she now says she wants 4 weeks notice. It really is having a huge impact on the other children. I can't take them anywhere as he screams and at home my attention is fully on him. I have to consider all the children, and this has been an issue since day one which we've discussed. Contracts have not been signed yet x

22-04-2013, 09:46 PM
They were to be signed once he settled in x

22-04-2013, 09:46 PM
If the contracts havent been signed how does the parent expect you to give notice? You arent obliged to even have LO there at all. My belief is that LO wouldnt be covered by your insurance in this situation.

Again I would happily hear that Im wrong.

22-04-2013, 09:51 PM
Really? I didn't realise a signed contract was needed to be covered by insurance? I usually do a couple weeks settling before doing contracts, but this one has taken longer as previously mentioned. i have a signing in book plus a signed child record form etc but ill check that out with MM in the morning, thank you.

22-04-2013, 10:01 PM
I use the 'NCMA' contracts and there is a part in there where you can allow for a settling in period. Within the period you can cancel with no notice but this also means the parent can do the same. It is my belief that the contract needs to be in place. But I may well be wrong. I am a stickler for the paperwork and I wouldn't take a child on without it in place as it is a safety net for both you and the family.

22-04-2013, 10:36 PM
Am sure I read somewhere that a written contract is not a requirement, although is recommended

23-04-2013, 05:26 AM
What notice would you have put in the contract.

Even though you have no written notice you have been caring for this child for 4 weeks so haveva verbal one in place.

If you were to terminate immediately the mum may have a case to sue for loss of earnings.

Good luck on reaching a compromise with the mum. Mum might just need time to go and find soneone else.

23-04-2013, 05:39 AM
Thank you ladies for your opinions. I think this has shown me that I should do the contract straight away in future, allowing for a month settling in period or something where no notice would be required. My instinct was to say he wasn't settling at all well from week 2 and that I wanted to say sorry but it wasn't workibg but I'm no good at all at saying no... Ah well I'll have chat again with mother and see if we can agree something x

23-04-2013, 06:43 AM
I hope it goes well for you, please update us and good luck, not that you will need it :)

23-04-2013, 06:55 AM
Hi I had a 12 month boy last Sept he would just cry/sob most of the time here it took till Dec for him to settle he just suddenly started going off to play and would just now and again start crying by Christmas was fine. I did consider to let him go but glad now I kept going he's doing really well now.
If you really feel its not working then you may need to let him go

23-04-2013, 07:14 AM
Mum can not do nothing without a contract. Tell her you can not do 4 weeks notice. Don't worry what the mum says, happened to me , no contract after weeks of trying hard to settle baby. It does make a big difference on the other children and on you too. I gave no notice once I decided she had to go. Not fair on the baby, she used to make herself sick! Very upsetting. The baby ended up with a nanny, much better for her. Some times these things happen, we can only do our best! Good Luck!

23-04-2013, 07:15 AM
If not contract is signed then technically no notice period is needed.

23-04-2013, 07:15 AM
I mean better for her to have a nanny, in her own home and one on one!

23-04-2013, 08:10 AM
I've just had a text from mum basically telling me she has concerns over my competence. I'm so upset, I've never had this before and I've been really honest and tried my best. So issue is resolved as hes not coming back but I feel like eating a tub of Nutella before my next one arrives in an hour :-(( !

23-04-2013, 08:22 AM
I really do feel for u smiler :(. I had an incident with one of My dads last night when he came to collect little one is Siri could no longer continue with me because of conflicts we were having basically he was a pain your time and I wasn't having any of it but now he's given phlebostenosis and I can't bear the thought I can see him the next four weeks

23-04-2013, 08:23 AM
Sorry for typing errors....big fingers on ipad lol

23-04-2013, 08:26 AM
why do some parents need to act like toddlers?

sounds like she is just being spiteful because you wont give in to her, just enjoy other children (as well as the lack of noise) and try to forget about her

enjoy the nutella:laughing:

23-04-2013, 08:28 AM
I am not trying to be negative but I do think that a contract should have been in place properly to appear professional, and 4 weeks is not a long time, I would have extended settling in period but not given notice yet. I have a lo that is just settled now but still has his moments and I have had him since september....not trying to make you feel bad but sometimes things do a bit pear shaped and it is helped if the arrangement is written down so there is no mis-understanding....out of interest if a contract had been in place would you have given notice anyway?

23-04-2013, 08:48 AM
I've just had a text from mum basically telling me she has concerns over my competence. I'm so upset, I've never had this before and I've been really honest and tried my best. So issue is resolved as hes not coming back but I feel like eating a tub of Nutella before my next one arrives in an hour :-(( !

I'd be careful. It sounds like she might make a complaint, she sounds like she's having a tantrum.


23-04-2013, 08:55 AM
I would also be wary after her comments. Make sure all of your paperwork is up to date as should he make a complaint to ofsted it now triggers an inspection not just an investigation into complaint.

23-04-2013, 09:01 AM
Hi Smiler.

It's no good, it sounds like it is going from bad to worse.

I would advise parent that - as per your concerns for my professional competence and the current circumstances which have been discussed it would be better if you find alternative care with immediate effect.

Do it now, you have already made your mind up that you don't want to continue with this child.

This is an opportunity to put the ball in her court now and cut any ties.

She has questioned your competence (rightly or wrongly it doesn't matter it's your chance to cut ties) If she wanted to take anything further i.e. 4 weeks notice she has lost that ability now. Refund any advance payment and wish her all the best for the future.

:clapping: :clapping: you will be jumping for joy :clapping:after a few days and wish you had done it sooner :clapping: :clapping:

23-04-2013, 09:25 AM
Veggie sausage I know your right - in future I will. If I'd had a contract in place I'd have gone round things in the same way really - being honest there was a settling issue, implementing strategies to cope with/deal with this and seeing this through as long as possible. It's been approx 120 hours of care so it's quite a long time to try to settle him. But I agree with a contract stating this very clearly it may not have led to such a cross situation :-( I'm going to call her later and smooth things over.

23-04-2013, 09:27 AM
And that's my doorbell for me to go off to work, tummy full of Nutella...