View Full Version : Squabbling after schoolies!

20-04-2013, 10:32 PM
Hi all

After advice please
I look after 6 yr old, x2 10 yr old boys and 5 yr old girl.
I'm getting to the end of the line over what I describe as silly squabbling,
The 6 yr old always says the others make fun if him. Sometimes they do, but just in a silly way, nothing in it really.i think they do it as they know he reacts like this. He gets emotional and cries and says they always hurt his feelings,
Thing is the 6 yr old does the same too to them, He is the sort if child who if he trips and has a minor injury where most kids would hop up and carry on, he will writhe in pain for 5 mins. I think much of it is attention seeking, but not always totally without reason as the others do get a bit silly sometimes.
I have naughty corner (reflections spot) which I've used, rewards, incentives but still have the problem.
One thing to mention, one if the ten yr olds is my son and has said the 6 yr old annoys him as he always cries, I can see if I speak to 6 yr olds mum what could happen is my son gets the blame.
How do you handle squabbles? Never seems to be over Anythinv important. such as hd walked too close to me , he smiled at
Me in a silly way, he copied what i said? Argh!!

i dread picking them up as every day there is a fresh argument! Does my brain in!

christine e
21-04-2013, 07:03 AM
This sounds so familiar:laughing:. First of all whenever possible we have half an hour on the park for everyone to let off a bit of steam and where there is plenty of space so no one has to be too close to someone who they find irritating. When we get home I try and have a few different things on the go - one or two (who are happy to be together) on the computer - another helping me set table for tea and then someone doing something like drawing colouring or playing outside. I think after a day at school children need space to unwind.

21-04-2013, 07:14 AM
You say the 6yr old seems to be attention seeking.
The 10 yr olds get on together I assume?

Maybe take the 6 yr old to one side and give him the attention he seems to want, give him a job to do telling him you need his help? Helping get tea, lay the table, tidy a toy box. The responsibility of being your "big helper" may distract him? Or play a game with him, or see if he will build you a big Lego model - if you have the time, we all know how busy it is after school.
Sometimes these silly little things are big things to a little one, although it does sound like an overreaction. I have one who will often shout at the other 2 " Don't look at me"! Can't stop the other 2 looking at him! so I get him to come and help me, taking him away from the situation. And it does work.

The 10 year olds are old enough to be able to understand that it's winding the 6 yr old up, so explain it, and ask them nicely to just ignore him and do what they want to do or to include him.

If they feel they can't accept that, is there any way you would consider saying to your son "This is my job and it pays the bills and gives me money to spend on you, you have to not make my job harder than it is. If he annoys you and you can't ignore it then maybe you'd prefer to be in your room until he goes? " Not in a punishment sort of way, but as an alternative.
Hope that helps

24-04-2013, 08:40 PM

6yo came out if school (lovely sunshine) glum, coat on.. Me-did you have a great day. 6yo no they make us do too much work!
That was how afternoon started! Seemed sensitive to anything that bothered him slightly. Older ones walking behind him he grumbles about them putting things in his hair. I had another older child who says noting happened. Can trust this one so do believe nothing happened, do think alot is attention seeking, single parent fam don't think he sees mum too much. A number of things gong on...Think this is big factor in behaviour. I always try to focus on positives, but hard when all you can gear is whinging and crying. then being told fibs... ah! Spoke to parent on pick up yesterday. Bit better today. Just have to keep going with it. :/