Behaviour problems

[littleDs31]

Looking for ideas. Lo I'm minding has started to hit and kick me if I say no to something. I'm not sure how to deal with this. I've tried saying no but that makes it happen more as does ignoring this behaviour. Any advice welcome, thanks :)

[step11]

How old is lo?

[littleDs31]

2 1/2 yrs. it's boundary pushing of usual terrible twos just not sure how to deal with :(

[hayley31]

I've got a lo at the mo who's nearly two and she's started screaming everytime she can't have what she wants and if I say no it gets louder... Ahhh

[The Juggler]

i think you will need to be very patient (and careful to get out the way) with this one.

When you know you need to say no, move away but even if he's trying to hit or kick and misses it's a case of telling him about the consequence of his actions.

His is obviously not dealing with his emotions too well so describe it for him. Tell him 'I know you are cross, sad, upset because.......' but when you hit me it hurts and makes me sad. Its not nice. Put him somewhere (a sofa etc) and ask him to calm down and rejoin you when he is calm.

It will take a while but getting out of the way for now to avoid it happening is the main thing and triggers. If you can avoid it, don't say 'no'. sounds daft but even distracting 'look at this' 'why don't you have a play with this' rather than even mentioning what it was he DID want might be enough. He may still be upset over not getting his way.

If it's sharing issues, see if you can borrow one of those giant eggtimers for taking turns and learning to swap over when timer runs out or use the kitchen timer/oven clock.

good luck.

[step11]

Have to tried taking him away from the situation? Have a sad chair ( don't like the word naughty and have never used it) and explain to him why that chair is for. I would also have a timer set for 2.5 mins. Every time he does it put him there. But it needs to be consultant. Both and home and with you. I would also introduce a reward chart. What's he like at home?

[littleDs31]

Thanks for all your advice, some good ideas. I think the behaviour may have began at home reading between the lines from conversations with parent. A sad chair sounds like a great idea! ill see how we get on this wk then mention it to parents. I think I will invest in a reward chart over the wkend to. Thanks everyone :)

[Goatgirl]

Hi :),
Having similar issues here and using time out for unwanted behaviour. Also have an achievement chart for littlies from approx 2 yrs which they stick stickers on to each time they are wonderful ;).

I try to emphasise the good behaviour and refer often to our 'rules', "we are kind, helpful, gentle etc with each other" and ignore little misdemeanours that aren't affecting anyone/ easily distracted from, unless they are being persistent and obviously trying to push boundaries. Also, with little things, comments like "that's not like you x, you're usually so great at sharing, lets try ...." may diffuse the situation.

Hitting and kicking though, would be straight into time out with a short explanation and no eye contact etc for the full 2 minutes. Then at the end of the 2 mins, start afresh with a positive voice and calm, happy face! Be consistent and prepared for child to be put straight back if needed though. I wouldn't worry about home doing things differently, as long as they are supportive with the way you do things at your house. I know lots of children who can behave impeccably for me but still run rings round their parents :). Good luck :thumbsup: