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stacieepg
15-04-2013, 03:07 PM
Hi can someone help my father I law has died and I'm trying to get back up cover for the funeral , what do I do if my back up can't do it is it still on me to sort? I've only been registered since December I'm in abit of a panic and I can't miss the funeral as he is more like my dad than my father in law :-( advice plz because this parent is very awkward xxxx

Rick
15-04-2013, 03:10 PM
If you have no cover then you tell the parent you cannot have mindee because you have a funeral to go to. If she doesn't understand this then maybe you shouldn't work with her!

suziealderton
15-04-2013, 03:13 PM
Hi can someone help my father I law has died and I'm trying to get back up cover for the funeral , what do I do if my back up can't do it is it still on me to sort? I've only been registered since December I'm in abit of a panic and I can't miss the funeral as he is more like my dad than my father in law :-( advice plz because this parent is very awkward xxxx

awkward or not im sure she would have enough decency to understand?

sorry for your loss xxx

stacieepg
15-04-2013, 03:13 PM
Love your total honesty lol yes very true is your first mindee's parent normally awkward?

L thought that they could terminate the contract if you refused to have them ? X

stacieepg
15-04-2013, 03:16 PM
awkward or not im sure she would have enough decency to understand?

sorry for your loss xxx

Thank it was out of the blue so I'm rushing around this is stressing me out :-(

Rick
15-04-2013, 03:20 PM
Love your total honesty lol yes very true is your first mindee's parent normally awkward?

L thought that they could terminate the contract if you refused to have them ? X

You have a very valid reason why you are unable to offer care. As mentioned, parent ought to have the decency not to question this. I think you may be worrying for nothing (I hope)

smurfette
15-04-2013, 03:23 PM
So sorry to hear of your loss, try get back up care,if you can't ring parent and explain, she would have to be totally inhuman to be horrible and most people aren't like that.. Yes it will inconvenience her but its part of life.

I had to take time off suddenly last year when my baby niece died, parents were great even though I took day and a half off, they couldn't have been nicer. One even still paid me!

Hope u are worrying for nothing , hugs xx

phoenix2010
15-04-2013, 03:30 PM
Its not your responsibility to find cover , however parents like it if you can

Do you know any childminders you can ask?

FussyElmo
15-04-2013, 03:31 PM
You are going to a funeral. On the ncma contracts there is a note saying something along as much notice as possible.

chezzagriff
15-04-2013, 03:31 PM
Sorry for your loss. If parent is being awkward about it, which is completly wrong of her especially given the circumstances show her your policy about time off etc. Hopefully all works out and she will understand.

doris127
15-04-2013, 03:40 PM
My parents were all great when I had to take a day off for my mother in law's funeral - it wasn't unexpected so the parents had known it was coming. Unfortunately her brother also died 2 days after had his funeral 2 days after my mother in laws. I hadtook that day too and had no problems with parents at all. To be honest it never even crossed my mind to try and find alternative care - my head was all over the place trying to organise 2 funerals to try and organise someone else's children.

In situations like this your family have to come first and nobody reasonable would question it!

hectors house
15-04-2013, 04:25 PM
Sorry to hear your sad news and sorry also to hear that you may have an unsympathatic parent to worry about also - all you can do is ask your back up childminder, if they can't help then the parent will have to find cover herself - if she gets funny ask her if she has to get cover before she can have a day off for compassionate leave. When my mother in law died, I ended up having 3 children until 12, I had to drop one off at a friends house but the mum gave me wrong address which took ages to sort out and another childminder had the other two - I honestly thought I would have to take him to funeral with me! I will never again put the parents jobs before my family committments - I expect your mum will need all the help she can get.

When my father in law died I managed to persuade the rest of the family to have funeral on a Thursday (my day off) and that way we could have the wake at our house.

Hope you are ok and it gets sorted soon - the sooner you tell the parent the more time she will have to make other arrangements.

mrstom
15-04-2013, 04:35 PM
So sorry for your loss but please, please put your family first.

DH's grandma died earlier this year (I thought of her as my own grandma too) and I didn't go to the funeral because I'd be letting two families down. I was a wreck the whole day - crying, wishing I'd gone and bitter because I wasn't there to support my husband. I still feel guilty about not going :(

If you can, try and organise cover but if you can't then this is just one of those occasions when you have to put yourself first. If mum is being funny then quite honestly, I wouldn't want to work with her anymore.

<hugs>

kellib
15-04-2013, 05:17 PM
Sorry for your loss xx

My auntie died suddenly a week after I started childminding, I took the day after she died off as was in a state of shock and the day of the funeral. All parents were totally fine and completely understood but tbh if they hadn't been I couldn't have cared less!

Supernanny86
15-04-2013, 05:37 PM
Hopefully she will understand. However, I know someone who had to go to her fathers funeral and parents got really funny and docked her wages even though she swapped days to accommodate them and took them cubs etc!! Some people don't have compassion, as the others have said, it's not a big loss if she does terminate, you can't work for people that have no give n take in extreme cases x

stacieepg
15-04-2013, 07:41 PM
Thank you everyone she is an odd ball if I'm honest straying to wish I would of waited for another minder the day my father in law died bearing in mind he died on holiday in another country, she was texting me the day after about sending invoices which is fine but there wasn't a hi on the start of the txt it was have you sent the invoice :-/ well I have no choice I have to go I called back up but there il at the mo if she is ok by next week she can do it if not nothing more I can do , in fairness I've done a lot for this parent ie having the child when very ill etc xx

pipandbaz
15-04-2013, 08:07 PM
Sorry for your loss x family always come first and like others have said if this parent is not understanding then she's extremely rude and inconsiderate. Sending hugs xxx

shortstuff
15-04-2013, 08:16 PM
I am so sorry to hear of your loss.

Please make sure you put yourself and family first at this testing time. I'm sure you will all benefit from grieving properly and as a family. As many others have said if this one family don't understand do you really want them to be a part of your business going forward?