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squeely wheely
09-04-2013, 03:32 PM
Taken on a new mindee who cries ALL day, nothing me or the other children do makes any difference. He doesn't eat, swats your hand away when trying to feed him. I Think he misses mum and dad. Its week 3 with him and its no better. I know this sounds terrible but I just don't feel I can care for him any more its starting to really affect me. I know its just time and he should get used to us here but I don't think I have any time left. Its too draining. I just don't know if I can end a contract because a baby cries. :-/

ziggy
09-04-2013, 03:39 PM
oh dear poor you, how awful

Did u have a settling in period in contract? I always have 4 week settling in period so if it just isnt working out i can give immediate notice

Do parents know how unsettled the child is?

squeely wheely
09-04-2013, 03:46 PM
oh dear poor you, how awful

Did u have a settling in period in contract? I always have 4 week settling in period so if it just isnt working out i can give immediate notice

Do parents know how unsettled the child is?

Hi Ziggy,

Mum and dad know they just say ohh well he has to get used to it. We had a settling in day and he didn't cry once, weird. But don't think I wrote a 4 week settling in period I'll have to take a look at the NCMA contract. If not I'll just have to give a months notice.

smurfette
09-04-2013, 03:48 PM
I know how u feel one going through this at the moment .. Do u see any glimmers of hope at all? With mine I see sometimes she stops crying, and looks interested in what's going on around her so I think she will improve.,
Gave notice to one before Christmas though who didnt seem to be improving and she just wasnt a happy child even with mum and dad.

You see minders on here who put up with it for months and months but I can't cope with it, it affects me to much and everyone else then, so don't feel bad if you can't do it anymore ., if you are three weeks in be careful not to let it go into having to give a months notice !

Have u tried the buggy? Mine is happier sat in it, now and again I pop her in front of TV in it to give us all a break! She also is happier out of house

Hugs!

Essbops
09-04-2013, 04:09 PM
Oh I feel for you it must also be hard on the others. Do parents have any ideas or comforters for lo?

Sarsar3NCH
09-04-2013, 04:24 PM
The buggy works for my screamer as Murphf suggests. Sometimes high chair too. Those quieter times give me a bit of time to interact with her, she will often fall asleep too and then when she's not so tired she will accept a bit of food, after which (6 weeks on) she will now play on the floor for a short while before we start the cycle again.
Long winded and tiring but it's given me those glimmers of hope that make me think we can crack this.
Good luck with whatever you decide

Sarah

squeely wheely
09-04-2013, 07:15 PM
I know how u feel one going through this at the moment .. Do u see any glimmers of hope at all? With mine I see sometimes she stops crying, and looks interested in what's going on around her so I think she will improve.,
Gave notice to one before Christmas though who didnt seem to be improving and she just wasnt a happy child even with mum and dad.

You see minders on here who put up with it for months and months but I can't cope with it, it affects me to much and everyone else then, so don't feel bad if you can't do it anymore ., if you are three weeks in be careful not to let it go into having to give a months notice !

Have u tried the buggy? Mine is happier sat in it, now and again I pop her in front of TV in it to give us all a break! She also is happier out of house

Hugs!

The only glimmer of hope is when we are out at groups. He naps in the car and is like a new baby for 30 mins. Then it all starts to go downhill again from there. At home he just doesn't stop crying. If you put toys in front of him he just throws them away. Also cries in the buggy :-(. I didn't write a 4 week settling in period into the contract so will have to give a month regardless. Out of interest how did you word it to the parents you gave notice to. Not really looking forward to that, although they do know he cries all day and that its taking its toll on the rest of us.

skatie
09-04-2013, 08:32 PM
How exhausting for you. Hopefully the parents can arrange alternative childcare before then and let you off the hook so you can all save your sanity. I have once resorted to ear plugs but that was only for a couple of hours not 4 weeks.... Good luck and thinking of you.

squeely wheely
09-04-2013, 08:44 PM
How exhausting for you. Hopefully the parents can arrange alternative childcare before then and let you off the hook so you can all save your sanity. I have once resorted to ear plugs but that was only for a couple of hours not 4 weeks.... Good luck and thinking of you.

Funny you should say that, my husband handed me some ear plugs before he went to work this morning. Might try them tomorrow.

The Juggler
09-04-2013, 09:37 PM
its hard hon. i had 2 in last 18 months (started within 6 months of each other) and both could rattle my ear drums the screams and cries were so high pitched.

One cried all the time except when eating/in buggy and the other was fine playing but screamed at food time or when out in buggy - both did AND STILL DO scream themselves to sleep - think it's just a habit :panic:

It took 2 months with baby 1 and about 3 months with baby 2 to get to a manageable level for me. I had tears many evenings, lots of painkillers for the headaches and often asked myself how much longer I could do it but both had a turnaround all of a sudden. Now at age 2 and 18 months both are still quite strong personalities and easily upset and at volume usually, so not sure if that has anything to do with the volume and screams earlier on :laughing::laughing:

SammySplodger
10-04-2013, 10:32 AM
Yes - I have been there too and sympathise - I did use silicone earplugs for a couple of days!

For the first couple of weeks my 'screamer' spent a lot of time in his buggy, dummy in, in front of CBEEBIES. Not at all what I would usually do and I felt bad. But that was what he had been used to . I gradually weaned him off it, but we still do it for 5 mins when he first arrives. He also found the high chair 'secure'. We went out and about for lots of walks. Gradually he has adjusted and after a month he hardly cries at all.

But I did have to give notice to parents three years ago because their daughter just would not stop crying and after six weeks we called it a day. It was a mutual decision really - I had always made sure they were aware of how much she cried - ie all day apart from when asleep. I just said I didn't think it was in their child's best interests to continue.

Good luck! :-D