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View Full Version : Do you 'sit and chat' at toddler groups?



tigwig
05-04-2013, 05:32 PM
Do you do the above at groups or follow the children around when they are playing? I tend to do a bit of both but most of the time the children are happily playing and if they dont need or want me to intervene then I dont. But then I feel that people are thinking look at that lazy CM sitting there ignoring the kids! What do others think?

jelly15
05-04-2013, 05:37 PM
Same as you really. Only thing is when I am chatting to someone, who is not a CM, I make very little eye contact as I am scanning my mindees IYKWIM, so I must appear a bit rude.

Rick
05-04-2013, 05:40 PM
It kind of depends which group it is. One group is in one large room so you can see children while sat down. Another has a separate outside area so have to be on my toes!

toddlers896
05-04-2013, 05:45 PM
I allow my children independence and sit and chat but obviously keep my eye on them. I can see what they are doing and if they need me they will come and get me. We went to Brewsters fun factory today and they are more than capable without my help.

Loushah
05-04-2013, 05:58 PM
I am constantly following the children round making sure they are ok....I think I get on their nerves sometimes. My assistant sits down most of the time so they always know where she is if they need / want anything. To be honest, I think I need to learn to relax a little more when I am at playgroups, I feel like I am just waiting for something bad to happen. I guess there is no wrong / right way as long as the children are safe and happy.

caz3007
05-04-2013, 06:07 PM
My mindie has just turned 3 and I sit and chat. I sit with a group of mums who I have known for a long time. I keep an eye on what she is up to and intervene if necessary but she very happily plays and does her own thing, and appears when she wants me hold her massive basket of play food :D or gives us all plastic cake :D

crazyXstitcher
05-04-2013, 06:09 PM
It depends on the mindee. I have one who will go off and play really well on their own or with other children and the group and tbh if i followed them round all the time I would be interfering/spoiling their activity game. But I have another who will just stand in the middle of the room and do nothing without a alot of interacting/prompting/encouragement.

So sometimes I sit and chat, but always have one eye on the children. Mind you, most of the people i know/chat to at Toddler groups are other childminders/nannies. At one toddler group there's probably more of us that parents!

Sarsar3NCH
05-04-2013, 06:22 PM
I sit and chat with one eye on the kids. We have so little time for free play at my house that I figure its a great opportunity to spread their wings

SYLVIA
05-04-2013, 06:24 PM
It depends on the age of the child and their capabilities. I usually have a 2,3 and 4 year old and a 17 month old. I go round with the youngest and just keep a general eye on the others. There are other minders there, some just sit and chat and others follow their mindees. I suppose it's what works for you really and if it feels right, then it doesn't matter what other people say

mazza58
05-04-2013, 07:25 PM
I sit and chat whilst keeping an eye on the children whilst they are playing, if i have the 6 month old with me then i sit on the carpet with her and let her play with the toys near other careers so i can still join in the conversation as well.

Maza
05-04-2013, 08:15 PM
I long to sit and chat but my paranoia (sp) won't let me. I am paranoid that the kids might hurt themselves and I am (to a lesser extent) paranoid that other people will think I am not attentive enough.

cathtee
05-04-2013, 08:26 PM
I sit and watch the children and chat while i do so, I sit with a group of childminders and always in the same place and I can see all the
room and the door.

Sweetpea
05-04-2013, 08:55 PM
I think it's wrong when you can't work out who a child belongs to, when there's a group of childminders sat down chatting & theyre one of their Mindees.

The EYFS says to give them time on their own but you're still meant to be supervising and being close enough to help scaffold their learning or provide subtle support in their interactions with others

Childminders sat down chatting for 80% of the time drives me nuts at my local groups and it gives childminders a bad name.

As either rightly or wrongly the CMs give them the impression they sit on their bottoms all the time, even at home.

Sprry everyone but It's not a good advertisement for CMs

Sorry, it'a something that bugs me...

Sweetpea
05-04-2013, 08:57 PM
We have a group of CMs that sit in a circle at one of our local groups so they can 'see everything'....

Makes me laugh as they're too busy chatting they never see their children having difficulties or needing help with taking turns.

They're notorious at this particular groups, all the parents talk about them

Sweetpea
05-04-2013, 08:57 PM
Sorry, I'd better calm down now, not everyone is like this... Sorry for ranting x

CLL
05-04-2013, 09:16 PM
When my little boy was younger I would take him to play groups and all the mothers thought the childminders were lazy, just sitting chatting. They thought they were looking after their kids but they were running riot without them knowing, pushing and not taking turns etc. So on that basis I will sit and play with the children I take to groups and not sit around having a chat. I guess everyone has different opinions and will do what is best for them.

FussyElmo
05-04-2013, 09:30 PM
Well the lo I look after has after 6 months finally got the confidence to leave my side at a toddler group. So no I dont follow more than often he brings a toy for me to play with him. He also is beginning to enjoy going in a car.

I would never allow one of mine to go round causing havoc but sometimes when they are with friends I am the intruder in their play so I leave them to it :-D

mazza58
05-04-2013, 09:33 PM
I attend a childminding group once a week and it is in a room that is secure and the children are able to play together and learn about socializing and enjoying playing with other children, we childminders do sit and discuss childminding issues etc whilst having a coffee and the children are playing together. I can see the children at all times whilst we are there, but I feel that it is a time for them to enjoy some freedom and for us to enjoy some adult company and discuss any concerns we have as well. When we are in my home setting I play with and plan activities all the time so i do not think that when at the group i need to do this, it is nice that the children can make friends and learn socialize skills together I feel. I know that they are safe in this group setting too.

hectors house
05-04-2013, 09:37 PM
I always know where mine are at a toddler group, I always supervise them doing craft and at snack time and watch them to make sure that
a) they are behaving and being kind and
b) making sure other children haven't attacked them - had 2 children scratched really badly in separate incidents at one toddler group, saw another child viciously bite another child and all this happened while the "parents" were chatting and drinking their coffee/tea
I never get time for a hot drink as always worry about where to put it down when my mindees need me.

lilac_dragon
06-04-2013, 07:51 AM
I too, do both.
I think it does the los good to have the confidence to go and explore without me being 2 steps behind them, but they know exactly where I am if they need me.
It also helps to acclimatise them for when they go into Nursery and school and suddenly - they're on their own!
I also keep an eye open for any Obs opportunities as they seem to be more "unaware" of me being there.

MessybutHappy
06-04-2013, 08:06 AM
I do a bit of both too. Some children need me, some don't. If you are busy with another child you may not see an incident, so even if you aren't sitting chatting you can still miss stuff and be seen to be in the wrong! I do whats best for each child and, sometimes, for me. If I need a sit down and the children are all happy, I'll sit. You often don't get much oppportunity, so grab it while you can!!!!

oxfordshirecm
06-04-2013, 08:12 AM
I do both too just depends on which group I'm at and what mindees I have.

little chickee
06-04-2013, 02:01 PM
the toddler group i attend is based in one room.
I can at all times see all my mindees ( I take 3).

I do sit and chat. I'm watching my mindees ( and other peoples kids) at the same time.

I also have a hot drink at snack time when all the kids sit down at the table.

It is possible to be supervising children without having to be following them around the whole time.
If i see they are needing help with something i go over. If not i let them get on with playing.

kids need to learn to be independant without having an adult leading their play all the time.

I used to mind a boy who was an only child who was with me one day a week, one set of grandparents 2 days, the other set 2 days and parents ( divorced) at the weekend.
He had parents and grandparents undivided attention the whole time. They were with him the whole time to the point that he could not play on his own.
If in a room full of toys he would just stand there not knowing what to do until someone would say " play with this " or " go over there and do that".

I would take mindees to the playpark and everyone would rush off to play and he would stand by me the whole time competly unable to know what to do or where to go until i said " go play on the slide".. He would then play on the slide constantly, ending up in tears. I would ask why was he crying and he would say it was because he wanted to play on something else. He was totally unable to just move to something else without an adult telling him to.

So i am a great beleiver in free play and that is what my mindees do most of the time.
I am obviously there to help if needed but they chose what to play with, how to play and for how long etc.

MessybutHappy
06-04-2013, 06:27 PM
Golly, how sad :( And well done you for spotting the problem.

zippy
06-04-2013, 07:50 PM
I think it's wrong when you can't work out who a child belongs to, when there's a group of childminders sat down chatting & theyre one of their Mindees.

The EYFS says to give them time on their own but you're still meant to be supervising and being close enough to help scaffold their learning or provide subtle support in their interactions with others

Childminders sat down chatting for 80% of the time drives me nuts at my local groups and it gives childminders a bad name.

As either rightly or wrongly the CMs give them the impression they sit on their bottoms all the time, even at home.

Sprry everyone but It's not a good advertisement for CMs

Sorry, it'a something that bugs me...

I sit and chat, I can still supervise. I feel sorry for the kids that don't get a moments peace from a hovering adult. At home I often sit at the bottom of the stairs listening to mindees in front room doing their role play. I get tons of communication obs from it and you can bet your life as soon as I walk in they go silent. I expect some parents make judgements about me at groups like the time when my mindee was protesting as she couldn't get down from trampoline, in fact one parent even came over to tell me, I replied that I was well aware of her struggling to get down, (it would be hard not to notice as she was littlerly 5 feet from my chair) I asked her to just sit back and watch for a couple more minutes, and what do you know she did it herself, looking extremely proud of herself, then a quick glance to the parent who informed me of her struggle, well she was beaming ear to ear as she had witnessed what i had. That child learnt more in those few seconds than anyone in that room apart from us could have possibly seen, she learnt about perseverance, about trusting in herself, she gave herself confidence to push herself even when she thinks she can't do it herself. She would have learnt nothing if I had gone to her or been hovering behind her, well actually she would have she'd have learnt to give up and I'd have reinforced a fear that she couldn't do it herself. So I guess I must be one of those lazy childminders you talk of, except I'm not I just choose to give my kids the space they need and deserve to develop, and I am certainly not going to hamper their development as I'm scared of how it looks to people who don't have a clue. Maybe next time you see them being lazy you could try looking outside the box, you never know you might just see something that surprises you.

Sweetpea
06-04-2013, 08:32 PM
Zippy, it's fine being alert to your child's needs but week after week not showing hardly any interaction?

I do care about what parents think and assume from seeing this. It's not a true reflection of a childminder and breeds the attitudes we see on places like netmums.

My Mindees rarely play in the same area so I float between all of them and this keeps me busy enough without affecting their freeplay as they get plenty of time between my interactions. This is without sitting drinking tea and chatting for an hour

zippy
06-04-2013, 10:41 PM
They show no interaction at all, if that's the case that's horrendous. I do sit back at a toddler group I go to, but so does everyone else it's set up to be like that, but certainly wouldn't switch off, I get a lot of obs from sitting back and watching them there, interacting in their little groups.