View Full Version : How do you do settling-in sessions for a sibling?

22-03-2013, 08:51 PM
I have never had a baby sibling mindee before.

An existing mindee comes 2x a week, for the morning.

I have suggested mum arrives 30 minutes before collection time each time, so that baby can start to become familiar with my house / me (but mum stays).

We do this for 3 weeks (so 6x).

But then how to I get her to start leaving baby. I usually like new mindees to have a 30-60 minute solo visit, and then we take it from there (depending on their reaction).

Mum is rather apprehensive, as first childminder she went to (with older sibling) cried and cried and cried, but when then changed to me, older mindee was fine and had no distress, but I can't remember specifically how we settled her in.

Mrs Scrubbit
22-03-2013, 09:34 PM
Hi, I've had lots of baby siblings and to be honest I've never felt the need (nor did the parents either) for a settling in period because they had got to know me and my home really well from dropping off and collecting their older sibling. Many probably heard my voice whilst still in the womb! Thankfully they have all settled in from day1, one started a few months ago aged 8mths and on his 1st day he didn't wait for a goodbye kiss from mum he just crawled off to find a toy box! Having said that I am also very aware that every child is different and if I or the parents felt it was better for their child to attend settling-in sessions then this would have been arranged. x

22-03-2013, 10:08 PM
I've never had a settling in period for siblings either and touch wood they've always been fine one mum did do a few shorter days to start with for both children as picking one up without the other would be hard. Sorry I'm not really sure what to say does older sibling go down for a nap could mum drop baby off then and collect as normal both together.

22-03-2013, 10:09 PM
I never had a settling in for my sibling mindee. She had been coming to pick up the older brother for a while and we made a point of her having a cuddle with me while mum chatted to son and got his shoes etc. I had one afternoon of them both, questions on sleep/food etc were all chatted about and sorted and she started with no worries.

Settling is as much for the parent as with the child though so if your parent is a little nervous after previous experience then you will need to come up with something to suit you both

22-03-2013, 10:12 PM
I've never done it before either but think I will be for the baby sister I'm getting in June more to get mum used to leaving her!!!! She's already told me she's getting weepy about leaving LO-not that she isn't happy leaving her with me just that she doesn't want to leave her at all so I think we'll have a couple of sessions for mum to get her used to leaving baby

Helen Dempster
23-03-2013, 12:00 AM
I've recently taken on a baby sibling (2 months old). I only had one half day settling in for him before he came full time. I think that was just for mum rather than baby. Everything was fine and dandy. Like the others have said, the parent knows you already etc so it'll be easier :)

blue bear
23-03-2013, 07:45 AM
It really depends on the parent, some just leave them, I've had one who carried on with normal hours all the way through maternity leave but shared the hours with babe and older one so she could have individual time with them both, one joined the same toddler groups as me and I would cuddle play with babe there and then no settling in, another asked for two 'settling in sessions' because that is what the older one did but really she just wanted to go to the hairdressers etc, I really don't mind it always seems to work out in the end.

Maybe offer a swap of hours with older one for a couple of afternoons or offer a couple of settling in sessions as you would any new chi,d as this parent is so nervous?

23-03-2013, 09:31 AM
with my family of 3, for the first sibling while mum was on maternity leave once a week to keep the continuity of care going I would pick up older mindee and baby sibling, have them togother for the morning so there was a familiar face, then take older mindee home to mum for one -to one time while I kept baby for one to one time with me (started when baby was 3 months) so when mum returned to work there were no problems settling in for either child. With the 2nd sibling while mum was on mat leave I would meet all 3 with mum at 3.30 in school and take all 3 home to play and dad collected them all later. This meant baby number 3 was always with his siblings and settled really quickly, no problems when mum returned to work. It sounds more complicated than it was lol hth

23-03-2013, 11:29 AM
Had this recently: mum came with both children, left them both for 20 mins or so (wanted to see how youngest would do). Mum returned and took youngest away and I had eldest as usual for the day. Worked fine.
If you will always have the two siblings together then have the two together for your settling in too.

23-03-2013, 12:12 PM
I have 1 starting soon and I've suggested that mum comes and drops him off a couple of hours before she picks up big sister and leaves them both with me for the few hours. I'm wanting to break him in gently though as although he comes to pick up his sister and is quite happy with me he is very prone to crying when my mindees are being noisy and he doesn't like them crowding him. So I think I may have to settle in everyone not just baby!! Really hoping he settles ok as his big sister was my first mindee and is very special to me and I get on very well with the whole family (in fact dh gets on very well with dad too and they often meet for a pint after work) so it would be a disaster if he doesn't.

23-03-2013, 02:09 PM
Thanks everyone. Older sibling has been coming to me all through maternity leave, so there will be no settling in with her. Baby comes to drop offs and collection, and I have a cuddle / interaction then (provided not asleep). Baby mindee is 6 months now. I think I am just going to play it by ear.

I am just nervous because my very first baby mindee (3.5 years ago) was fine when we did settling in, but when contract started, mindee became so upset and distressed that we eventually gave up and that baby was cared for at home by a nanny. He did come back to me when he was 16/17 months (nanny could no longer offer care) and settled (though not easily, but that is his personality) and now been with me for 2.5y.