Not eating Dinner & Desserts...your views

[SammyL]

If your mindees consistently don't eat their meals but always want a dessert do you give them one?

I've stopped with one of mine because no matter what you give him unless its carrots he won't eat it.
Am I mean??

[mama2three]

Oh dear I sound like a complete ogre in my replies today!
Unless they have made a good attempt at eating their dinner then no desert here Im afraid.

I know that this isnt the 'accepted' practice , and to be fair it 'unbalances' my meals and an attempt at a balanced diet ( eg sometimes a milk pudding is the only calcium theyve had with me in the day) . But then refusing to eat the meat / veg / carbs in the first place put the meal out of balance too!

definately ogre childminder!

[little chickee]

If a child does not make a good effort to eat most of the main course they do not get pudding.
I think if you give the pudding regardless you very quickly have a child who will only eat pudding.
This is not a balanced diet.
In my experience it can be quite a long slow process but the child does eventually grasp the concept that if they want pudding then they eat the main.

If the main is not eaten i don not offer anything else - this includes yoghurt and fruit.

[SammyL]

Thank you :)

Feel lots better now :)

[RuthJ]

Snap! I will only give pudding if a good attempt has been made. I give the manageable portions so they're not put off, and they have a varied diet.

However, I have a child for whom pudding isn't even an incentive :(

[hectors house]

If a child does not make a good effort to eat most of the main course they do not get pudding.
I think if you give the pudding regardless you very quickly have a child who will only eat pudding.
This is not a balanced diet.
In my experience it can be quite a long slow process but the child does eventually grasp the concept that if they want pudding then they eat the main.

If the main is not eaten i don not offer anything else - this includes yoghurt and fruit.

I do the same if is something that the child has eaten before and they haven't shown any signs of being unwell then I expect them to eat it all (I trust my portion sizes - based on child's age, activity levels and previous knowledge). If they eat most of it and then say I'm full up now, I say you won't want your pudding then, and they generally finish it all. I know this is a dangerous approach to take if you don't have correct portion sizes - I have known obese adults who say it is because they were only allowed pudding if they had finished main meal - but feel my portion sizes are appropriate.

Sometimes I am prepared to do deals - or sometimes we have one more for mummy, daddy etc and they find it is all gone anyway.

If it is something new and they try it and really don't like it I am prepared to do deals or take out the part they really don't like - at least then they have the sense of satisfaction of an empty bowl. I try to remember what children like what foods within reason but making sure that I provide a balanced menu for everyone.

As a child I hated mashed potato at school but knew if I wanted the chocolate pudding with chocolate custard that I had to eat mash first.

[gef918]

I actually ask the question on the child's individual needs form that parent fills in before the child starts with me. I let them decide whether they don't want their child to be offered pudding unless they have 'had a good attempt' at their main course.

[Rubybubbles]

all my parents provide lunches, but I still make them eat most of their meal/sandwiches before anything else

Today one of mine had soup, but didn't eat much, but we had a larger snack later than normally today so it was okay!

[gingerjames1]

Am exactly the same!!! If they dont finish their meal then no pudding!!!! If it ensure they are getting their nutrients. all parents are happy with the strategy as they know they cannot get them to do it at home!!!! We are all the super mean childminders on here today!!!!lool

Sent from my iPhone using Childminding Forum

[phoenix2010]

no pudding unless they have made a good effort of their dinner

not necessarily a clean plate but at least a try

trouble is , if you give in once then you create a monster :D

[mazza58]

mine bring a packed lunch but they are given the sandwiches to eat before the crisp and pudding as i feel that children quite often get into the habit of wanting puddings and refusing dinners I know myself that I would rather have puddings than dinners as i have a very sweet tooth, think i would like to join the pudding club and just have a three course pudding meal :)

[Tealady]

I'm going to go against the grain here in that I do give a pudding if they leave their main meal, however it is tiny. If they are too full to eat much of their main then they can't possibly eat a whole pud. They will get a small dollop of Yoghurt and a thin slice of apple or similar just so as everybody is the same.

I just try and put myself in their shoes, perhaps they aren't that hungry for some reason (may have had a large snack at pre-school or coming down with something). They may not fancy what you have given them as I know myself their are certain foods I have to be in the mood for; or like peas, I don't dislike them as such but not a fan, so will only eat them if there are no other veggies on my plate or I am really hungry.

[blue bear]

I don't offer puddings at all, oh I sound like a real meanie now, I offer regular snacks which include yogurts fruit, scones etc so if they don't eat any lunch they will get caught up with snack later on. I have never been a fan of rewarding a clean plate with something sugary.

[Nicola Carlyle]

I'm afraid I must be really mean then because we are lucky if we have pudding once a week! I really don't feel the need for it. We do have it on special occasions but not everyday.

[singingcactus]

When I provide food I tend not to even give puddings at all. If I do I give desserts at the same time as the main meal. I don't try to get the kids to eat more than they want, if they say they are full then I assume they are full.

Having this with my son at school right now. He is telling the staff he is full and they are forcing him to keep eating to the point he gets stomach ache and throws up. He is a tall child for his age, very tall, and so the staff assume he must have a huge appetite. He doesn't. He has a very small appetite. His meals are all balanced over the week, even if he was to reject one part of his lunch he gets everything he needs throughout the day or week.

If your desserts are part of the healthy diet, then don't sweat it. Maybe have a few days a week where there is no dessert, then a couple of days where the dessert is the main part of the meal - pancakes and fruit, rice pudding and puree etc, with a mixed platter of other stuff to balance it.

[helena_j]

I only give pudding if children make a reasonable effort has been made, although if not eaten much through the day I give a banana usually as its not the most exciting food but fills them up.

[helena_j]

Also meant to add normally they get given something else at home as regardless how much one of my minded children eats he instantly asks for a snack when he gets home:rolleyes:

[ivy]

I have never offered pudding in 15 years of childminding .

[SammyL]

I have never offered pudding in 15 years of childminding .

Not even fruit?

[Cookie Monster]

I actually ask the question on the child's individual needs form that parent fills in before the child starts with me. I let them decide whether they don't want their child to be offered pudding unless they have 'had a good attempt' at their main course.

Just curious how this method pans out in practice. Say if one if your children is allowed to leave his main but gets given pudding and another isn't how do you handle that one? Tricky to explain to lo's

[Becci26]

No dinner no pudding here,

All parents know before they start this is how it works here, they have to at least made a good attempt at their dinner to get pudding. X

[JumpingJacks]

As soon as the lo's are old enough to understand, no pudding if dinner isn't eaten. Parents agree with it too. If they ask for pudding I explain they need to finish their dinner and that the choice is theirs, rather than just saying no.

[freckleonear]

I don't give puddings or desserts anyway as I avoid any processed sugar apart from the occasional treat. I do give something else after lunch (fruit, natural yogurt or savoury stuff) but not after dinner.

[jackie 7]

I give fruit and fromage frais if they eat main meal big not hungry I make sure supper is a bit bigger. After talking to all parents I do small snacks.

[mushpea]

mine need to eat their sandwich and fruit at least or at evening meals eat most of their dinners to get a yoghurt.
just wondering what sort of age you stop giving a desert at or do you not give a dessert at any age if they dont eat main?

[SYLVIA]

Here they have to make a good effort with the main part of the meal before dessert. I state in my policy that I do not expect children to always clear their plates but make a good effort at it. I tend to give smaller meals but have extra portions ready for the hungry ones.

[gef918]

Just curious how this method pans out in practice. Say if one if your children is allowed to leave his main but gets given pudding and another isn't how do you handle that one? Tricky to explain to lo's

Haven't had this problem yet, however am getting a new starter who will be allowed pudding even if he hasn't made a good attempt. Will have to see how it works out.

Did have a slight issue because one child is allowed squash with their lunch, another is only allowed water. I explained that it was his mum wanted him to just have water with his lunch and he accepted it. Hopefully by following rules that they follow at home it won't be an issue.

[Cookie Monster]

Haven't had this problem yet, however am getting a new starter who will be allowed pudding even if he hasn't made a good attempt. Will have to see how it works out.

Did have a slight issue because one child is allowed squash with their lunch, another is only allowed water. I explained that it was his mum wanted him to just have water with his lunch and he accepted it. Hopefully by following rules that they follow at home it won't be an issue.

Depends on their age and if they'd understand that I guess. It wouldn't work for me, there'd be lots of "that's not fair!".

Good luck! X