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squeely wheely
15-03-2013, 04:05 PM
Hi !

I'm a new child minder , just got my first 4 year old. Thing is he has a terrible temper. We were coming back from play group he got out the car with a toy and was about 2 meters from the front door and refused to walk saying his toys were too heavy. I was carrying baby and my bag. Finally he walked to the door but he was mad and as I opened the front door he threw this big toy at the wall just missing my dog. he was shouting then ran up to the toy repeatedly kicking it against the wall and broke it. (Luckily it was a toy he'd bought from home.

I'm not sure I want to continue caring for this child as I have a baby and I don't want anyone to get hurt.
Not sure what to do :-/

wendywu
15-03-2013, 04:40 PM
Come down on him like a ton of bricks use your stern voice. Set him very clear boundaries.

It's a battle of wills and he has to learn that at 4 he can never win.

Then play good guy when he is good lots of praise and tell mum in front of him of his good behaviour. Get mum to work with you.




And I hope you did not just stand there and watch him bang his toy repeatedly against your wall :angry:

squeely wheely
15-03-2013, 04:51 PM
Omg no I stopped him and put him in time out straight away. Stern voice in all. I think he got the message. Mum however says I should have taken the toys or left them in the car and apparently "I'll learn" so its a bit of a weird situation there because she obviously does things differently.

Thanks for your advice :)

wendywu
15-03-2013, 04:56 PM
I don't think we are allowed to leave them in the car :laughing:

You are stronger willed and can out wit any 4 year old . :thumbsup:

MessybutHappy
15-03-2013, 05:49 PM
Mum sounds very condescending and I would suggest to her that home toys need to stay at home in future! (Unless it's a comfort item which seems unlikely if he's happy to break it.)

Nicola Carlyle
15-03-2013, 07:09 PM
Come down on him like a ton of bricks use your stern voice. Set him very clear boundaries.

It's a battle of wills and he has to learn that at 4 he can never win.

Then play good guy when he is good lots of praise and tell mum in front of him of his good behaviour. Get mum to work with you.

And I hope you did not just stand there and watch him bang his toy repeatedly against your wall :angry:

Totally agree. Children need to know the boundaries you have in your home. Once you've said your piece and he has had a little time to take it in carry on as normal and forget about it. Lots of praise and happy faces and then he knows its over with and see how it goes. Xxx

phoenix2010
15-03-2013, 07:14 PM
hes testing his boundaries with you

I agree, be firm and consistent , Im sure you will find ways of dealing with him

i have 2 that throw fits if they cant get their own way

but they do it less and less now as they have come to realise that kicking and screaming blue murder gets them absolutely nowhere

squeely wheely
16-03-2013, 08:30 AM
Thanks for the advice I'll stick with it and carry on with time out when he gets angry

bunyip
16-03-2013, 09:57 AM
I suspect mum is also testing your boundaries. She needs to be told it's your setting and your rules, although you will consult with her to a reasonable degree. She also needs to be told that there is a point at which unacceptable behaviour and, in particular, anything which puts the baby at risk of harm may result in immediate termination of the contract and refusal of care.

Be strong, because you are. :thumbsup: