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View Full Version : Is it time to pack it all in?



Belly2009
13-03-2013, 02:32 PM
Hi all,

Kinda need to rant as i dont think I nor hubbie can take much more.

Maybe I was wrong but when i started out just littlw over a year ago I aspired to be the best childcare professional i could be. After taking a career break from a "professional" job i was hopibg to be treated much the same as a childcare "professional." Instead, i feel like a glorified cleaner, cooker, washer, nappy changer, babysitter, counsellour, educator, and lets face it the doormat.

I really dont think I can do this job anymore. Its meant to be fun and a joy to do but to be honest its a chore. I thought id made up my mind this morning until a lovely LO i have made a thank you note with a ps best childminder ever xxx. I actually thought i was going to cry.

I just dont know what to do. I feel my children are being sacraficed as im not spending the timw i should with them and when speaking to my 8yo they say i love having all the children here. You get to spend time with me at weekends (oh thats when we play mums taxi service to vlubs etc) what more could you ask for....

Sigh, i think the time has come......

Very sad.

miffy
13-03-2013, 02:48 PM
Didn't want to read and run - I think we all have times when we're fed up and want to jack it all in.

Could you ease back on the amount of work you're doing? Perhaps get a day off a week for you - I found when I went down to 4 days (and now 3 days) a week I felt so much better.

Hope you manage to sort something out that works for you.

Miffy xx

toddlers896
13-03-2013, 02:48 PM
Ive just read your thread and thought I would send you a big hug.:group hug:
Ive only been doing childminding for a year too and there has been times that I have felt like you that all I do is clean, change nappies, take photos for obs etc and I too didnt expect it to be like this. I have my good and bad days but I love the children that I have in my care and I love the fact of being my own boss so looking at the whole picture I just get on with it and have a wee moan every now and then.
Good luck whatever you decide to do. x

jellyelly
13-03-2013, 02:52 PM
I am feeling the same! I work 4 days a week and feel its too much! My paperwork has fallen way behind so I'm having to do it evenings as I can't seem to get enough done on my day off coupled with chores and housework and of course the school run! I'm hoping that when I've caught up I might start to feel more positive, fingers crossed xx

chriss
13-03-2013, 05:37 PM
some people love working form home and being around for their own kids, Others feel its taken over and their on kids are being squeezed out. Very difficult and only you can decide whats best for you and yours . ((hugs))

crazyXstitcher
13-03-2013, 05:44 PM
Rant away. :D :group hug: I am about to go on maternity leave in 2 weeks and I'm seriously considering not starting up again when it's finished. I feel like my own children are always being put in second place, although when i've asked them they said they like having mindees here (or rather just one particular mindee who is lovely and more like one of the family anyway).

I also get fed up that we are supposed to do all the same stuff as nurseries yet
a) we don't get the same acknowledgement or respect/credit that nurseries get and
b) the parents don't want all the EYFS stuff from me, they chose a childminder because they wanted a second home environment and just want to know lo is well cared for, happy and having fun without endless photos/comments/obs etc

All the uncertainty over agencies etc isn't halping. Agencies will probably be the final nail in the coffin tbh. And my paperwork is so behind that if i was inspected tomorrow i'd probably wouldn't even get a satisfactory grade despite the fact the children are happy, safe and thriving - i just don't have the pieces of paper to say so. And at the moment I have no incentive to get it up to date.

izzy23
13-03-2013, 05:47 PM
Oh we all have this at one time or another, I've been doing this four years now this time round, previously I'd minded in the past before going back to my professional career. I probably have not had a fortnights stretch when I havent thrown a ridiculous tantrum about jacking it all in, especially when you have a tough day with kids or parents :littleangel: the only one who really knows whether you want to go on is you at the end of the day, make a pro/con list, think about the reasons why you started minding in the first place? I did because I was missing so much time with my youngest daughter who was then a year old that I took voluntary redundancy and started minding again, best thing I did (then), but I did it with the knowledge it was suiting me very much for a period of time, like others I've reduced my hours, I don't work with little ones any more, I am fortunate that i have school ages only and also now work in school part time as a TA, which i am working towards doing full time and this makes me feel more positive in sticking with the little bit of minding I do now.....so chin up....there are people on here to rant to and get support from when you have a bad day and rest assured you are not alone!!! :group hug::group hug:

Velleity
13-03-2013, 07:07 PM
It's good to get it out :)
When I feel that way I say to myself that if I still feel the same in two weeks time then I will look for another job however for me the feeling has always passed so far and it's likely that I'm just having a bad couple of days. Sometimes it gets too much with all the paperwork and worrying about that but I do enjoy the caring side of the job. I hope you work out what is best for you and your family x

rosebud
13-03-2013, 07:34 PM
It's good to get it out :)
When I feel that way I say to myself that if I still feel the same in two weeks time then I will look for another job however for me the feeling has always passed so far and it's likely that I'm just having a bad couple of days. Sometimes it gets too much with all the paperwork and worrying about that but I do enjoy the caring side of the job. I hope you work out what is best for you and your family x

I do this too! The two week rule - I have been applying it to everything for years and it really helps. If I still hate my job in two weeks I'll give notice (been childminding nearly 10 years now), If my boyfriend is still doing my head in in two weeks I'll finish with him! (17 years together next month - surprised he hasn't finished with me yet) If I still feel this poorly in two weeks I'll go to the doctor (nothing serious yet). It gets me through bad days / weeks and stops me over-reacting on the spur of the moment. Most of the time I love my job, yes I have bad days, sometimes difficult children but on the whole I know I'd rather be doing this than anything else. Its not for everyone though and I hope you can come to a decision that makes you happy. For those that are finding the paperwork too much - you're all doing too much, cut it down and you'll feel much better!

Belly2009
14-03-2013, 10:18 AM
Wow thanks for all your responses and advice. I do the two week rule and that gives me till tomorrow. Its not looking good especially as its my morning off and my nvq lady was due at 9.30 and hasnt made an appearance or text to give a reason for lateness or possibly non attendance. Going to give her a call in a moment.

Its so hard as ive been advised to "stamp" my feet remind them all that it is my business and my rules (of course i can be flexible but i dont have the michael taken out of me!)

I just dont know what to do. I work 3 full days a week, 5 days before and after school and then 2 afternoons for 2 hours. I just dont know whether to scale it back to just 3 days and before and after schoolies or whether to pack it all in and go back to an office. Feel so unhappy right now :(

Ps thanks for the hugs x

phoenix2010
14-03-2013, 10:29 AM
Havnt read all the posts , just your original one , so sorry if im repeating

I dont get much time with my son who is 6 as my day starts at 7 and ends at 930pm some days , plus we have one that sleeps over twice a week so he has to give up his bedroom

He doesnt mind one bit and loves having lots of children to play with

I would rather do this than go out to work , to be honest I dont think I could earn what i do going out to work
I would see less of my son if I went out to work

and we wouldnt be able to afford the nice weekends away and holidays that we look forward to

As for the weekends , he has me all to himself and I refuse to book him in any clubs at the weekend , that is our time to chill out and go with the flow

Ive even stopped football and he now just does Judo one night a week after school , it doesnt interfere with our time

could you cut back on childminding hours maybe , and clubs ?

I hope you work it out , what ever you decide :)

oxfordshirecm
14-03-2013, 12:54 PM
I have been childminding for 15 months now and like op I have days when I have had enough- j love playing with the kids and seeing them develop etc but hate the dirty nappies, having to try to get babies to sleep, being a taxi service for school runs, a nurse when the kids are sick, feeding awkward kids etc

I realised what I want to be is a teacher- so I have set myself a goal to be one- have just completed my Nvq and going to start my degree in September and in the mean time continue with childminding

On the days I feel like giving it up I remind myself of my final goal

Little miss
14-03-2013, 01:12 PM
I am the opposite to oxfordshirecm - I was a teacher and have just completed registration for CM. unfortunately I read a lot of negative posts about childminding and think to myself - have I done the right thing? But then I remind myself why I'm doing this - to have more time with my own two LO's.

TNT
14-03-2013, 01:37 PM
I am the opposite to oxfordshirecm - I was a teacher and have just completed registration for CM. unfortunately I read a lot of negative posts about childminding and think to myself - have I done the right thing? But then I remind myself why I'm doing this - to have more time with my own two LO's.

I was a teacher before becoming a childminder while I was pregnant with my second child. I love it and would never go back to teaching in the same capacity as before. I love being my own boss, changing our minds about what we are going to do that day without a seconds thought and I spend valuable time with my own 3 children.
It is hard sometimes and we have our weeks when things are not going well or as planned and I wish I was less emotionally involved with the children and parents but it is definately the best decision I have ever made.
Can you tell that the sun is shining here and I have 2 los in bed and time for a coffee:D

OP could you maybe cut down your after school hours a couple of days a week, that time might help with your own children as you will have more time to sit and read with them or do homework etc? I dont work on a Fridays now and it has made a massive difference withrespect to my own children.

Little miss
14-03-2013, 01:41 PM
Lovely to hear a positive comment TNT ! Do you miss all the holidays though?!

scottishlass
14-03-2013, 01:53 PM
I have only been minding since November but am so happy I took the plunge! Still finding it tiring getting used to working so many hours as before I only did 16 hours a week but loving having babies to look after again (my girls are 6 and 10) and pleasing myself and still collecting my own girls from school etc. I have 2 that come 4 days a week and 2 that come 1 day a week and although not actually full to capacity I am now telling new enquiries that I am not taking on any newbies. I like to have some quieter days an am more chilled then so prefer to stick with this for now. Also loving having some pennies again!! Xx

sunview_cm
14-03-2013, 02:02 PM
I'm glad I'm not the only one that goes through this! We've had such a bad run of illness over the last 4 weeks and it just gets you down! I'm just hoping we are turning a corner now, although my daughter still isn't her self but nothing I can put my finger on. Just short tempered(more than usual) and sleeping more.
I'm going to use the 2 week rule from now on, so hopefully in 2 weeks everything will be looking brighter.
X

rosebud
14-03-2013, 02:55 PM
Wow thanks for all your responses and advice. I do the two week rule and that gives me till tomorrow. Its not looking good especially as its my morning off and my nvq lady was due at 9.30 and hasnt made an appearance or text to give a reason for lateness or possibly non attendance. Going to give her a call in a moment.

Its so hard as ive been advised to "stamp" my feet remind them all that it is my business and my rules (of course i can be flexible but i dont have the michael taken out of me!)

I just dont know what to do. I work 3 full days a week, 5 days before and after school and then 2 afternoons for 2 hours. I just dont know whether to scale it back to just 3 days and before and after schoolies or whether to pack it all in and go back to an office. Feel so unhappy right now :(

Ps thanks for the hugs x

Why don't you try to cut your hours a bit and then see how you feel, it can be difficult to start again if you decide it was the wrong decision later. I think most of us start out by taking on every enquiry we ever get because we're so desperate to get started and then start to feel stressed and find its all too much. It can take a while to work out what actually fits in with your life and makes you happy and to learn to say no to people if its not what you want. The only childminders I know who work full days every day and seem to make it work have grown up children or older teenagers, the ones with young children all work part time (or are very stressed!)

sunview_cm
14-03-2013, 05:32 PM
Why don't you try to cut your hours a bit and then see how you feel, it can be difficult to start again if you decide it was the wrong decision later. I think most of us start out by taking on every enquiry we ever get because we're so desperate to get started and then start to feel stressed and find its all too much. It can take a while to work out what actually fits in with your life and makes you happy and to learn to say no to people if its not what you want. The only childminders I know who work full days every day and seem to make it work have grown up children or older teenagers, the ones with young children all work part time (or are very stressed!)

I think you've hit the nail on the head there, thanks. Made me feel better. X

Belly2009
14-03-2013, 05:38 PM
I think you've hit the nail on the head there, thanks. Made me feel better. X

Yes, you have made me feel better and that I am trying to achieve the impossible. I plan to terminate one contract, small hours in the afternoon (spend more time on paperwork than I do looking after the LO) and I'll naturally lose 2 after schoolies in July as they go off to high school. By ending the afternoon contract, it frees 2 full days a week where I can concentrate on paperwork and my own LO before they start school in sept.

Thanks for all the support!

Belly2009
15-03-2013, 11:42 AM
So it's day 14 of the "2 week rule".......

Two of my parents must have a camera in my house as they called yesterday and said they would be taking their children to school this morning which left me with a huge lie in till 7.45!! :), a lovely walk to school with me and my 8 yo and my SIL offered to take my 3yo and a great morning off doing childminding paperwork. The sun is shining on me today.

Have made final decision, I am going to cut my hours (well kind of), going to get rid of the silly hours here and there, work 3 full days a week and 2 days with just before and after schoolies which leaves me 2 whole days (9-3.15) without any minded children where I can catch up on paperwork, appointments, cleaning etc. I am hoping this will give me the kick start I needed as I was very very very nearly over the edge of giving it all up BUT NO, I've worked too hard for that!! I love my job and especially when the children hate going home after a day here.......makes it all worth while.

Just thought I'd update you all and I am sure I will be using the 2 week rule again soon :)

Thanks to everyone here xxx

shortstuff
15-03-2013, 11:54 AM
Thats great news n also good that people around you care enough to give you support when needed.

kellyskidz!
15-03-2013, 01:58 PM
Glad it all seems to be working out, never nice to know someone is struggling or having a hard time of it. And the 2week rule is genius, sure we'll all be doing the same now :) xx