13 month old can't feed herself at lunchtime and then chews and spits out

[nipper]

She's fine with fruit or bagel/toast/crumpet, but give her lunch (today roast chicken dinner, roast potatoes, peas, carrots, sweetcorn and a bit of gravy so it's not too dry) she is just sat staring around her. She hasn't even moved her arms, towards the bowl. Yesterday at toddler she leaned forward when I handed her a piece of banana, wouldn't even take it in her hand.

She also chews it up and then spits it out. I've started telling her 'No' when she does this and even showed her how to do it (how stupid do I look) Mum says, "Oh she's so lazy, we have to feed her because she doesn't like to get her hands dirty." As if it's cute or funny. Is this mum talking or the child??????
The thing is, the ten month old I have on the same day is the opposite, up to his elbows in food and can't get it in quick enough
I'm actually busying myself around the kitchen (ignoring her) in the hope she will start doing it herself

Oh and she's the first child, not that that should have any bearing.

Please help!!!!!

[FussyElmo]

13 months is still quite young especially if she isnt used to feeding herself :thumbsup:

[The Juggler]

agree with fussy. if parents have always fed her she is starting out like any 6-8 month old and won't know what to do properly (including the chewing and spitting out). Are parents feeding her purees still maybe?

she will get there with you especially if she's watching your 10 month old :thumbsup:

[nipper]

She sat with the ten month old and a 22 month old today. I know she can feed herself, as she's done it in the past. I usually load up her baby fork (as opposed to a spoon to stop it falling off) and she can put it in her mouth. No purees, mum gives her what they have now. She has eight teeth.

[Ripeberry]

Every child is different. As long as she eventually makes progress, there is no point in comparing.

[It's a small world]

I have a 2.5 year old who has only just started feeding themselves . Went through a phase of refusing to do it but if you fed they would eat. iI had to tell parent to stop feeding as would expect it. Needless to say child struggles to hold a fork or spoon. Parent still feeds sloppy toddler meals processed from shops but gradually introducing their meals. I refuse to feed but encourage them to do it themselves.
As with others 13 still young and parents not helping. Continue to encourage . My parent still feeds sometimes for an easy life but at my house Mindee knows they have to do it themselves. No way could i feed 3-4 children it would be like a conveyer belt lol x

[lubeam]

Conveyor belt that's funny

Can just imagin it lol :)

[Angela234]

I have a 15 month old he won't feed himself with a spoon will finger feed finger foods. He has a spoon and his food and i try to encourage him to use his spoon will just hold the very tip of spoon and poke the food if i try to help he just shouts and refuses it, i do feed him with a spoon.
He only started crawling 6 weeks ago he will walk around furniture or holding hands, he's just lazy same at home.
Try activities like spoons scoops rice krispies bowls cups to help use with the spoon
I have another lo 17 months has used a spoon since 12 months very well.

[hectors house]

I have a lo who is 14 months he can put spoon in his mouth if I put food on for him but another one who is 22 months has regressed into waiting for me to put food on his spoon, whereas he could do it before.

[KatieFS]

13 months is a bit young to be a concern but its def a gap and something to work on. Activities around fine motor skills, using spoons with different materials textures. How about play kitchen, lets pretend to feed teddy etc
The not liking messy hands.., keep an eye on that and see how it goes. Is that true? One of my mindees from a while ago had that going on and they were going through diagnosis for dyspraxia

[supermumy]

I'd say that is far to young to be concerned
Try clean finger foods to encourage and let mindee hold a spoon same time u do etc
Also start doing some messy play to get use to messy hands

[Tinkerbell1979]

You can't compare children and 13 month is still very young to be cometary self feeding IMO

[blue bear]

My 13 month mindee feeds herself Niger food but not dinner, I think that's fairly normal to be honest

[mazza58]

Think 13 months is still young to expect them to feed themselves with a spoon and no help, each child is different and some are quite happy for you to feed them, but with encouragement they eventually will do it themselves

[mushpea]

well i am glad i read this thread because i also look after a almost 14month old who wont feed herself, somtimes with finger foods she will pick them up other times she will sit for the whole lunch time not eating until I pick a bit up and pass it to her which is normally at the end of lunch before I decide wether to take the plate away. she will not even have the spoon near her hand, if I pass it to her she will pull her hand away, I have even tried putting the spoon in her mouth then leaving it there to see if she will take the spoon out to encourage her to hold it that way but she just sits there with it hanging out of her mouth, she once sat for a good 5mins like this.
parent says she feeds her at home because she wont feed herself and last time she said she wont eat homecooked food so i just give her jars!, she told me if she dosent eat her sandwiches or main meal that I am still to give her dessert so shes at least had somthing, I can understand her concern but she is encouraging her to become a fussy eater.

[RuthJ]

They're all so different aren't they when it comes to food/feeding. One of my mindees was feeding herself from 10 months, she's an excellent eater and makes hardly any mess, she'll eat anything too. Another mindee, 3 years 6 months regualry refuses to feed himself, gags etc but will happily eat if I feed him :rolleyes:

Persevere, she'll get there eventually, and is still quite young.

[Tinkerbell1979]

I did BLW so my son fed himself from 6 months f but DD wasn't interested in self feeding till around 14 months - you can't compare !

[jackie 7]

Well I have been the conveyor belt. Fed 3 children at the same time!!! What fun! It pays the bills. Got a 22 month who can feed himself toast but not with a spoon. He was very prem and I have to get as much food into him as I can without throwing up. I even have chocolate spread just for him. All are different and it is usually how their parents deal with them can cause most of our problems.