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georgeypie07
04-03-2013, 11:35 PM
one of my lo's mums has recently finished work and is now on maternity leave (im having the lo the same days and times) but she has started tagging along with me (and her child) on days out, for example i go to a weekly toddler group and she asked if she could start meeting us there, i went to the woods last week and she asked to meet me there! i wouldnt mind but it confuses her child that hes with me as normal then mummy will turn up for a bit then go again!!
also i wouldnt mind but, how can i put it....... we dont really get on that well, shes not the most friendly person ive ever met and shes always making little comments about how i do things.
help i dont know what to do or what to say to her. i dont know if shes lonely or bored but its really messing up my days!!
any advice?!

blue bear
05-03-2013, 01:03 AM
I'm really sorry but ofsted blah blah blah,safe guarding mumble mumble mumble is always a good get out Claus for parents wanting to tag along.
Other wise tell her straight, you are a childminder not a parent minder that coasts x per hour. Or I'm really sorry buts it's really confusing little johnny and I don't think it's working, I need to think about all the children and having another adult along changes the dynamics of the group.

MessybutHappy
05-03-2013, 06:50 AM
You could remind her that while she's around she has responsibility fir her child so she is effectively paying for nothing? Do you know why she is doing this? Is she lonely?

Cpgp
05-03-2013, 08:38 AM
I often have parents asking for grandparents visiting from other countries to tag along. I wish I could say I'm not a grandparents minder but if they really need me to babysit them I can charge says for the job. I end up saying that 1- grandparents are not allowed into my place because it will change the dynamics and all the attention I will have to give them will be taken away from the children and 2- if they come to outside activities they have to be responsible for everything regarding the child including pushing the buggy and dealing with bad behaviour+taking the child back with them when they decide to leave. Works a treat.

vikiwizz
05-03-2013, 08:52 AM
Could you say it's upsetting the other children as their mum is not there as well, so it's proberly not a good idea if she comes along?
Or go down the insurance route or say she has not got a CRB so can't stay? The other parents don't like a 'stranger' being with their children?

hectors house
05-03-2013, 09:17 AM
Could you maybe meet up with her at toddler groups on the days that she has her child - maybe she is lonely and bored, maybe hasn't got any friends with young children because she has been working til now and maybe she doesn't have the confidence to go to groups on her own. But I would make it on your terms and discourage her from being with you when you are supposed to be looking after the child.

pipandbaz
05-03-2013, 09:30 AM
I would stick with its not fair on other mindees x x

kellyskidz!
05-03-2013, 09:30 AM
She might just be lonely or be an anxious parent, but if it is bothering you (and it would bother me) I'd say she's not crb checked, it's upsetting to the other kids and confusing her own child. She probably wouldn't be pleased with another child's random parent around her own child while they're in your care. Good luck!

Mouse
05-03-2013, 09:46 AM
I have a mum hinting at a similar thing at the moment.

I have her child two days a week when she works, then one day a week when she doesn't. She keeps hinting that on the day she doesn't work she would love to stay for the day & see her child mixing with the other children! She hangs round for a while as it is, but I think she'd stop all day if I didn't guide her out the door. She hasn't asked outright yet if she can stop for the day, but I'd have to say no if she did (though I'm not sure quite how I'd say it!) She's said herself that she doesn't have many friends & is socially awkward! She's a very need mum, always asking me advice on her daughter, and I think she thinks I'm the answer to everything!

With your mum I think I would tell her it's confusing for your son & other mindees to have her tagging along and that it blurs the lines between who is legally responsible for her child while he is with you (mention insurance not covering you etc).

Either that or don't tell her where you're going for the day!

Koala
05-03-2013, 10:44 AM
As others say it's not a good idea mum stays for soooo many reasons......

I had a parents over spending time at settling in sessions and I had to step in when she told another child not to do something because her daughter wanted to.

It sounds like trouble could brew...

mummyMia
05-03-2013, 11:37 AM
That would drive me insane!!! I wouldn't mind if a mum wanted to tag along once to a group if they were nervous about going on their own but I wouldn't want it to be a regular thing. I would find it really hard to care for a child with mum constantly watching over me. Definitely say no as soon as possible because the longer you leave it the harder it will be to have that chat.

wendywu
05-03-2013, 12:58 PM
tell her you are working and its not a social ;)

Koala
05-03-2013, 01:19 PM
tell her you are working and its not a social ;)


And get a life :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

little chickee
05-03-2013, 01:56 PM
Am I the only one having "Grannygate" flashbacks?:laughing:

jackie 7
05-03-2013, 02:14 PM
Noooo way. Tell her to go to the gym. Granny gate was fantastic.

WibbleWobble
05-03-2013, 02:22 PM
Am I the only one having "Grannygate" flashbacks?:laughing:


just read my mind

wibble the clairvoyant x

Kiddleywinks
05-03-2013, 05:37 PM
Am I the only one having "Grannygate" flashbacks?:laughing:

:laughing::laughing: Nope! I was just about to put:


AAAARGH GRANNYGATE is replaced by MUMMYGATE :laughing:

MessybutHappy
05-03-2013, 08:38 PM
Fir those of us who are still new around here...can someone please explain grannygate? Think I may be missing something here!

Maza
05-03-2013, 08:41 PM
Does she look in your bin too? Was bingate/binasty ever resolved?

MessybutHappy
05-03-2013, 08:49 PM
Now you are just being mean!! Bingate???? I feel all left out :(

WibbleWobble
05-03-2013, 08:56 PM
Fir those of us who are still new around here...can someone please explain grannygate? Think I may be missing something here!


http://www.childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/just-members/66964-how-would-you-deal-am-i-overreacting-being-bit-annoyed.html


enjoy!

wibble the helpful xxx

georgeypie07
06-03-2013, 06:22 AM
thanks for all the advice. usually i wouldnt mind as much but this mum is really hard to get on with as it is, when she drops her lo off she tells the other chidren off if they do something, she quizs me on things i do with her child (like she dosent believe me) she makes snide little comments to me.
has anyone else got a parent who they just dont like and dread her arrival? (her lo is gorgeous and well behaved and i love having him!!! complete contrast to the mother!!)

MessybutHappy
06-03-2013, 06:38 AM
http://www.childmindinghelp.co.uk/forum/just-members/66964-how-would-you-deal-am-i-overreacting-being-bit-annoyed.html

enjoy!

wibble the helpful xxx

Thank you Wibble, that one was a saga wasn't it!

MessybutHappy
06-03-2013, 06:45 AM
thanks for all the advice. usually i wouldnt mind as much but this mum is really hard to get on with as it is, when she drops her lo off she tells the other chidren off if they do something, she quizs me on things i do with her child (like she dosent believe me) she makes snide little comments to me.
has anyone else got a parent who they just dont like and dread her arrival? (her lo is gorgeous and well behaved and i love having him!!! complete contrast to the mother!!)

Oh yes, but thank fully she doesn't stay long! Stay strong, I think I'm finding it easier with time and experience!

chezzagriff
06-03-2013, 07:54 AM
haha I have just sat and read that whole thread about 'grannygate' Im not looking forward to the day I meet my strange parent. So far the worse I have had is a parent asking me to meet them at the bus stop at collection time as she couldnt be bothered to walk after a long day at work. As you can probably guess we didnt end up getting to the signing of the contract.

Mouse
06-03-2013, 08:41 AM
thanks for all the advice. usually i wouldnt mind as much but this mum is really hard to get on with as it is, when she drops her lo off she tells the other chidren off if they do something, she quizs me on things i do with her child (like she dosent believe me) she makes snide little comments to me.
has anyone else got a parent who they just dont like and dread her arrival? (her lo is gorgeous and well behaved and i love having him!!! complete contrast to the mother!!)

I have one mum at the moment like that & have had others over the years. I try not to take it personally. I don't think they doubt our ability as childminders, I think they just don't express themselves very well.

shortstuff
06-03-2013, 10:40 AM
Omg ive just read 'grannygate' how awful. This mum needs to understand and sooner rather than later.

georgeypie07
06-03-2013, 01:09 PM
oh my god 'grannygate' glad im not the only person with strange parents!!!

MessybutHappy
06-03-2013, 06:09 PM
I had a granny moment today! Was so hard to keep a straight face! I just kept looking around for the cameras and one of you wonderful ladies our gents!!! Granny was picking up older sibling and came over to meet me in the playground. And yes, lo had a shoe coming off so Granny commented, and took the dummy out....if baby hadn't been in my sling I think she may have wheeled him off!!! I was super careful not to encourage anything...

dette
06-03-2013, 08:08 PM
lol grannygate

lizduncan72
06-03-2013, 08:38 PM
OMG just sat and read the grannygate thread!!!! Can't believe anyone would behave like that! So glad my lo's have lovely grannies that would never even think of doing anything like that

scottishlass
06-03-2013, 09:49 PM
Omg just finished reading grannygate too! Reading the different stories on this forum I am so much more prepared for any weird things that might happen!