View Full Version : Would you be happy to take mindee to a Language&Speech assessment?

04-03-2013, 07:27 PM
Or it's a parent's job?
The assessment was recommend by a L&S therapist, during my working hours but both parents were free AND at home.....

blue bear
04-03-2013, 07:37 PM
I'd be happy to go along to the first one to give input but with mum and dad not instead them. If it was impossible for mum or dad to do follow ups like off in Afghanistan or something then I would take lo on my own.

04-03-2013, 07:48 PM
I'd be happy to take them, even if parents were at home I would be so annoyed at them for not taking time for their child I would
not like to think that the lo couldn't go

04-03-2013, 07:49 PM
I think parents should do the first appointment!!

I'd do follow up ones if they were local and didn't inconvenience the other children :D

04-03-2013, 07:52 PM
I needed reassurance
I told parents I wasn't going to take mindee there for a number of reasons
Parents said they were going to, but changed arrangements for collection twice
Than they decided not to go after I did a massive change of plans to make it easier for them
Than at collection time, they ask me if I took child there, and why not?
They were both free and at home
I really wish they did it as child is clearly behind speech wise and misbehave a lot probably due to frustration and lack of communication skills
Child will be 3 next month and even we struggle to understand s lot of what child says

Could it be fear of hearing child has a problem?

04-03-2013, 07:55 PM
I had genuine valid reasons for not taking child there.

jackie 7
04-03-2013, 08:07 PM
even when i was ananny the mum went to assessments. when i wanted and needed to go she went and gave me rubbish description of what i was supposed to do.

04-03-2013, 08:23 PM
I used to go to physio with one child but with the parents and so that I could see what they were doing and carry it on at mine as child was full time, I wouldnt go as a replacment for a parent and think its important for parents to be there.
having had my son go through various assesments and knowing how much info there is to process I dont think you would be able to remember everything thats said to tell a parent and so would be very important for the parents to be there.

04-03-2013, 08:30 PM
I would be happy to take a child but would struggle to understand why one of the parents would not want to do it.

It also becomes problematic if it clashes with you having other minded children as s&l quite often want to see the child by themselves, especially the first session.

04-03-2013, 08:40 PM
I never missed one appointment for mine n im glad i didnt especially the difficult ones like repeated injections. He knew mummy would always be there

04-03-2013, 08:44 PM
I'd go but also with the parents if there Available

04-03-2013, 08:48 PM
I care for a little deaf girl and all the speech and language development workers, deaf nurse etc all come to my house when it suits me to carry out their visits as little one is with me 50 hours perweek and mums not able to make visits. These proffessionals are more than willing to work with us and parents so why not arrange for home visit

04-03-2013, 09:30 PM
Some parents....

I told mum right from the beginning I wouldn't be able to take mindee because
1. I had other children to look after,
2. the assessment was from 2 til 3 pm and not local so it would clash with school run and
3. I didn't want to hold the responsibility of passing on all the info, specially because English isn't my mother language.

So mum agreed to collect the child from my home to take her to assessment
On the morning of the assessment mum asks me to meet her there with the child...as I have only her child (coincidence) and there is a nice play session at the location I agree. However mum is 20 minutes late and I have only another 20 minutes left after dashing for my daughter's school run, but I still go make packed lunch for child and myself to take, since we have to meet mum there
After 30 minutes on the bus I get there just to receive a txt from mum saying that she isn't coming anymore
I'm ****** of at this point since there are 2 good playgroups whitin walking distance from my home, I didn't need to go to that children's centre with a packed lunch
Play session finish at 11:30 and by 12:30 we finished our lunch, so I decided to take mindee to the one o'clock club.
When Dad comes to collect mindee, he asks me if I took mindee to the assessment and why not
I than explain again all the reasons above.
Chatting a bit more I found out they both were free and spent the day at home (they dont work from home)
They could drive there in 10 minutes.
I don't know what to think TBH
Parents are well educated people but I'm slowly realising they are the sort of people who "talk the talk but dont walk the walk"
The assessment was recommended by a speech&language therapist who saw the child interacting with me and got worried
I don't understand why any parent would miss it
Sorry, rant is over now.

blue bear
04-03-2013, 09:44 PM
Google ecat monitoring tool, national stratergies. Print off the form and highlight all that this little boy can do, both the speech and understanding sheet and the sounds sheet. This will show mum and dad in black and white how far behind he might be. Sometimes you have to be quite brutal, show them in black and white give it time to sink in and then reassure how fabulous s&l are and how quickly it's possible for the little one to catch up.

Is mum scared to face it do you think? It's so horrid having to face that your child might have a problem I'm wondering if she couldn't face this session with a stranger to discuss what her child can't do compared to other more perfect children. (not saying anyone has said this, just how mum might be feeling)

Did dad even know mum had agreed to meet you and take lo herself? Maybe talk to dad about getting another appointment and when it comes through liase with dad about lo attending with him and mum?

04-03-2013, 09:48 PM
In our area you would be very lucky to get another appointment, You are told if you miss without cancelling for a really good reason you will be removed and put back to the bottom of the waiting list :(

04-03-2013, 09:59 PM
Honestly, why should I care if they don't and can't even be arsed
I don't even have a printer so it would be another hassle to print this off for than probably throw the paper away

Few days after the child was invited for this speech and language assessment, I was invited for a ADHD and Autism workshop, explained this to dad and sent creche info to mum (child stayed in the creche many times), mum than calls me to ask if I'm implying her child has ADHD or autism, and I have to remind her that I actually have a child myself and have a career in childcare so such workshop is important for my personal reasons......

I just feel now that mum doesn't want me to interfere

And yes, dad knew assessment was today, maybe mum lied to him and told him I would take child myself?
But why wouldn't he want to come along since he was free
And mum knew very well I wouldn't do it, what she hoped to achieve?
I'm gobsmacked tbh

04-03-2013, 10:06 PM
sorry for my mistakes, my tablet is playing up an awful lot tonight

04-03-2013, 10:21 PM
In our area you would be very lucky to get another appointment, You are told if you miss without cancelling for a really good reason you will be removed and put back to the bottom of the waiting list :(

It was an invitation for a drop in session that wasn't being advertised anywhere...
Does it class as an appointment?
I gave out my details and child's full name and DOB
They sent info to my address and I fowarded to parents

Chimps Childminding
06-03-2013, 03:09 PM
I would go along WITH parents if I was able (if I had no other mindees etc), just so I could help the child. But, I would expect the parents to WANT to go with their child!!!

Chatterbox Childcare
06-03-2013, 03:19 PM
At the end of the day it is the childs wellbeing and I would want to know what the therapist said, so I would go with the parents, collecting them on the way if necessary. Sometimes it is a barrier for the parent as well as the child

06-03-2013, 04:09 PM
I agree with the prior posts. I would go with the parents to the initial assessment if I had no other children but not instead of them. I would be happy to do any follow up appointments provided it was at my home, I am not prepared to take other children here, there and everywhere for one child.

06-03-2013, 05:09 PM
I still feel bad I didn't go that extra mile and the child missed out
However I had school run to do and the mum cancelled everything last minute
Very sad

06-03-2013, 05:30 PM
I think the parents should have gone. How sad that they don't make the effort for their child.

If it was a drop-in session, rather than a one-on-one appointment, then if its like my region, they are hopefully held very regularly at many of the local children's centres, and are very informal. Around here there is one on every week at a different children's centre. They tend to be held at the same time as playgroup sessions with a speech therapist just hovering around talking to whoever wants their opinion. After talking to you and listening to the child, they would either reassure you no problems and give you a few leaflets on encouraging talking, or they would send the parents an appointment for a more in-depth one-on-one assessment which will be around an hour long.

Basically - if you're feeling bad, there will hopefully be another drop in that either you or the parents could go to? Depending on how much you want to chase it up, you could call the children's centre and find out?

If parents are still uninterested, and you feel really strongly that a speech therapist is needed, you could get (or threaten to get) social services involved? You don't have parental responsibility so not sure if you could even go in their place to these kind of appointments?

06-03-2013, 06:17 PM
I still feel bad I didn't go that extra mile and the child missed out
However I had school run to do and the mum cancelled everything last minute
Very sad

I think you definitely did go the extra mile, so don't feel bad. It's the parents that have let their child down, not you. I would NOT be attending a first session on my own with the child but would go to follow ups if I was able and wanted for support and input.

Can you chat to both parents together? It does sound as if there has been a misunderstanding between the parents if Dad thought you were taking child.

:group hug: