Feeling guilty

[Tinkerbell1979]

Today I had an unexpected day off as my only mindee is at home with mum who has the day off work.

My 2.5 year old had bed very testing today and was having major tantrums on and off (more on than off) from 10am-11.30. I did what I always do and ignored, tried pacifying her but nothing, she bit me which she had never done before so I sat her on sofa, lost my temper and shouted at her.....loudly, to shut up. I know, I know I shouldn't have lost my temper and I feel AWFUL, she cried louder and harder - to make it worse just as I did the doorbell went (mortified), opened it to a couple who said 'we won't keep you' and thrust a god leaflet in my hand. I have a sign saying I'm a cm and to knock quietly, now I'm worried they will complain thinking I was shouting at minded kids, I never shout at my kids let alone minded kids, no excuse but I've been worried about a couple of health issues recently and stressed and typically the ONE time I lose it this happens.

Feel rubbish !

[FussyElmo]

Sending you hugs.

But in fairness you did only shout at her when she went too far and bit you. You didnt smack her you raised your voice.

You are only human. Shouting at my own children seems to be the only way they hear me whereas I can stop a mindee with a look.

Your dd will forget it about and move on to the next piece of mischief/tantrums soon enough x

[caz3007]

Dont beat yourself up about it.

You are only human and stress and worries make things worse. I once shouted at my Ds cos he was driving me mad and then I found a note through my door from a mindies parent, I so hoped she hadnt called at the time I was shouting :D

[loocyloo]

i once opened my door mid rant at my own children ... to a parent who was early and grinned and said ''its not just me then!'' and told me how vile her own children had been that morning, although she knew they would be angels for me!

like fussy elmo said - mindees i can stop with a look, my own children - shouting seems to be the only way sometimes to get them to listen.

[Tinkerbell1979]

Thank you all for making me feel less rubbish and more normal. Funny how I can just look at the minded kids and shake my head no and they listen.

Just hope I don't secretly get reported with them thinking I was shouting at minded kids :-(

[Tinkerbell1979]

Can members of public complain? I know it was my own child I shouted loudly at but they don't know that and that there was no minded children in my house at the time, I'm panicking still :-(

[vickylou]

I know of a childminder who was reported by a member of the public who was at a soft play area. I don't know what she accused her of, but she was able to report her because she was wearing a t-shirt with her name and phone no on. As much as I would like to advertise my business this way, because of this I won't. I think it depends on the person. And whether they are malicious, I think to the member of the public especially when they learn we are a childminder we are on duty 24/7!!! And don't seem to realise we do have days off! One of my friends had a comment once. 'Saw you cleaning your windows, were all the baby's being good and having a sleep,,' she was actually having a week off work!! I love the way our own kids have us shouting but a mindee is stopped in their tracks with a glare!!!! I wouldn't worry, and anyway should Ofsted turn up your register will show you had no minded ones there!!

[Tazmin68]

Hi
Yes they can. I was at school picking up 2 children with mindee in buggy and my own 2.5 year old I let him off a wrist strap as we were in playground and when bell went he had a wobbly as he did not want to Hi back.on strap for walk home as school on main road. Someone reported me to ofsted stating I had a toddler upset. U had a call from a very nice inspector who said that they received a complaint but it seemed rather silly. I explained that it was my own son who did not want to use a wrist strap and as school was on main road where a reception child had run out if gates and run over previous year safety was my concern. He laughed about it and all ok and unfounded.

[Tinkerbell1979]

Thank you Vicky, I know I can prove no one was here but it just worries me :-(

[Tinkerbell1979]

Thanks for the reply, hopefully if they do they will call and not just turn up

[FussyElmo]

Ok repeat after me I am not hilter I do not deserve to face the firing squad. You shouted at your daughter because it was justified. The pc crowd may not agree with me. But if it is out of character for you then she will probably reason she had crossed the line and might make her consider not doing it again.

As for a member of the public reporting you well you cannot not live like that with the constant worry. Repeat after me I am not a bad person, I am not a bad person. Stop beating yourself up about it :thumbsup:

[Tinkerbell1979]

Thank you fussy, you take perfect sense, I'm a born worrier - thank you all for being so kind x

[jackie 7]

In my past life as a nanny I was reported by a teacher in a Swiss school for shouting at the children. They were refusing to stop messing around and get into the car. Mum said not to shout. When I lowered my voice the brats/kids were terrified. They were 6-7-9 years old and I was fed up with their permissive idiotic mother. Oh I not only have the tee shirts but the scars-just like a childminder.

[Koala]

Bless you, don't worry, can you imagine what they would say if they complained?

"Hello Ofsted,
I am a cold caller who regularly pesters people on their own doorstep, interrupting people in their own home unannounced to peddle my beliefs. I would like to report a childminder for shouting in their own home on a Saturday morning as I listened through the keyhole."

I don't think they would get very far.

[Tinkerbell1979]

Bless you, don't worry, can you imagine what they would say if they complained?

"Hello Ofsted,
I am a cold caller who regularly pesters people on their own doorstep, interrupting people in their own home unannounced to peddle my beliefs. I would like to report a childminder for shouting in their own home on a Saturday morning as I listened through the keyhole."

I don't think they would get very far.

It was a Friday BUT mindee was off so just me and my child.

[Koala]

Still - don't worry.

I have shouted at my kids and I question any one who says they have never shouted at their own kids either.

You are human, we are all human, don't worry :thumbsup:

Everyday I reassure parents, who are at the end of their tether, and that when their own children play them up it is perfectly natural and then I smugly say how they are little angels for me :littleangel:

We all know our own kids are often good for others and save their worst for us, thats how we know they love us so much. ;) and because we put up with it, is how they know we love them so much.

[Tinkerbell1979]

Thank you for the reassurance I'm normal xxx

[Koala]

yes, you are normal.

You wouldn't be normal if you said you never shouted at your own child.

[jo.jo76]

Your attendance records will show you had no mindees on that day so there really is nothing to worry about.
It amazes me how my own kids can drive me mad but I am so calm with other peoples!

[Tazmin68]

Don't worry if ofsted do contact you like did me were very understanding