Should I give notice?

[twiggy]

I have minded a 3 year old child since he was 8 months old. I have him 3 days a week from 6.30am to 5.30pm. Everything was great until Sept 2011 when his parents split up. I have gone out of my way to help the family but it seems the child's mother is now determined to upset me as much as possible and her ex husband is willing to sit back and watch.

The child's main carer is his father and I mind the child on the days dad is at work, however the contract is in both parents names and they pay half the bill each.

I had problems getting payment out of mum for 4 months up to Christmas and the child's dad did nothing to help me get my money, it got so bad I had to use my legal cover but I did not give notice because I did not think it would be fair on the child and dad was still paying his share of the bill. Since then mum has accused me of not being professional and has accused my child of bullying hers (both accusations were untrue).

Despite all this I have included the child's mum in everything and have ensured that when we do crafts the child makes 2 of everything so both parents get one, I have even invited mum on our trips out.

At the weekend I had a text from mum asking how much notice she needed to give to take a holiday without charge. I replied that all parent/child holidays were full fee as I don't charge for my holidays as per the contract.

Dad turned up to collect his child last night and is now saying she is thinking of sending her child term time only. I explained if they did this I would still have to charge half fee to keep the space open. This morning I was due to have the child at 6.30am and at 6.40am I received a text from dad saying that he was not coming today but gave no reason (this is becoming a regular thing of not turning up)

I think mum is trying to push me into giving notice as dad will then be without childcare and she will become the full time career. The child's father seems to just be doing as the mother says now and I have got to the stage where I feel I can not longer accomodate their needs and be stuck in the middle of their games.

Do you think I should give notice?

Twiggy

[Mouse]

How easy would you find it to replace the child? Is there much work in your area?

If you think you could fill their space, or could manage without the money for a while, then yes, I would give notice. By the sounds of it you have put up with a lot from them. I'd now be giving notice and let them get on with their own silly games. Your life will be so much happier if you're not dragged into it.

[twiggy]

How easy would you find it to replace the child? Is there much work in your area?

If you think you could fill their space, or could manage without the money for a while, then yes, I would give notice. By the sounds of it you have put up with a lot from them. I'd now be giving notice and let them get on with their own silly games. Your life will be so much happier if you're not dragged into it.

I have had lots of enquiries over the past few weeks. I just feel that I will be letting the little boy down as he has had so many things to adjust to lately and he has so many friends here.

[Helen79]

If you can't give notice and need to keep the mindee, I would change the contracts so it's just in dad's name and arrange that dad is responsible for paying you. How he then gets her half of the childcare fees is up to mum and dad to sort out between themselves.
Mum's putting both you and dad in a difficult situation.

[twiggy]

If you can't give notice and need to keep the mindee, I would change the contracts so it's just in dad's name and arrange that dad is responsible for paying you. How he then gets her half of the childcare fees is up to mum and dad to sort out between themselves.
Mum's putting both you and dad in a difficult situation.

Contract was originally just in dads name but he left it to me to try and get his half of the money and I was then stuck legally as she wasn't on the contract. He wanted as little as possible to do with her. I now feel he is taking me for a mug as he doesn't want to fight my corner and thinks it's fine to let me get up and ready for his son to turn up at 6.30am when he has no intention of coming. I don't understand how he is getting so much time off work.