Help.. i have a Shouter!

[KatieFS]

Hi all. Any tips or advice from my esteemed childminding associates?
A 17 month old in my care has suddenly turned into a dramatic shouting child! All meals today she dramatically refused without trying any. By dramatic I mean huge wriggles and flinging head from side to side, shouting what sounds a bit like no!! By the way all food she has had before. And lots of general shouting, usually when she is asking for something. I was worried for a bit she was wriggle put of the high chair (she is quite slim and agile) so I tightened up the straps.
at one point it did make me smile, but after a whole... Headache. And it's starting to bother the other children. My schoolies were calling her shouty pants?!?!
Thanks all

[sarah707]

Bless! :rolleyes:

Is she doing it at home?

It's about consistency - find words to use to reassure her that you can hear her and that her comments are valued :D

[mummyMia]

How about some ear plugs :D

[Zoomie]

I once heard that if you (and everyone else) makes a big show of whispering, the shouting child will have to stop shouting in order to hear you. Not sure how it would work and whether you could get the other children to co-operate enough for the message to sink through.

[The Juggler]

oh hon, I sympathise. reinforce everything she is shouting about with words for her to use. Are you cross, you want to get down, you don't want your food - etc. Then say 'don't shout' just say 'no' (or down pls, up please) etc. I have a LO, now 26 months. She was like this from 8 months. We perservered and now she rarely screams. Still shouts with her words sometimes :rolleyes: but when I give her a look she'll think and say please :laughing:

[KatieFS]

I think she has just started at home too. Was quite shocked though, the dramatic refusal was special! She has always been a bit lively/sensitive...
Could be frustration and she is just realising she has a voice!
Fun fun fun

[KatieFS]

Thanks juggler. How would you deal with refusal of food.. Ofsted say give something else. Which ice been doing after 15ish mins of persevering. But I suspect she is starting to know if she makes a fuss of food she doesn't fancy she'll get something else..

[The Juggler]

who at ofsted said that!!!??? no, I'd offer the meal, leave it for a while. then offer some fruit when everyone is finished - that's it. I'd keep an eye in case she has genuinely developed a dislike and offer alternatives next time but I'd certainly not be offering lots of options - at her age it's about trying to gain some control over her environment, if she knows her behaviour gets her options until there is something she likes, you will be creating a monster (in my view anyway) :laughing:

I'd explain to ofsted that if you do that, you'll ahve all the other children saying, I don;'t want mine either and becoming fussy eaters when they weren't. Apart from the cost of wasted food! :panic::panic:

[SammySplodger]

Not very many words of wisdom from me but a large portion of sympathy! I have screamy / crier at the moment. Really hard going on my ear'oles!
Today I wore silicone earplugs on and off today and dosed up on paracetamol (bad headache!).

Sounds like she's found a way of getting undivided attention, control and different food! I'd only give her something different if its not too much trouble and others will eat it too. But I'm same as previous poster, if they don't eat the lunch I have made, only other choice is bread/toast and fruit. And try not to react - discourage others too (I know that's hard!).

Good luck! x

[silvermist]

I once heard that if you (and everyone else) makes a big show of whispering, the shouting child will have to stop shouting in order to hear you. Not sure how it would work and whether you could get the other children to co-operate enough for the message to sink through.

My son, now an adult, had adhd and was constantly shouting! We whispered practically all the time and he did quieten down as he couldnt hear what we were saying. I swear by it and even do it with one of my mindees. :thumbsup:

[MessybutHappy]

You have my sympathy, nothing to add except I agree, it's about control so don't give in, and find a way to remove the battle...you might offer main and pudding at the same time, if the child chooses fruit first, so what! They may move on to the main, but if they don't you know they've eaten something and you haven't offered an alternative because it was there anyway!

[Dragonfly]

I've got a shouter she lives next door!! :laughing:

[mushpea]

with the shouting I would get down to hear leave and say in a calm voice 'use your quite voice and try again' although wether her understanding is enough for her to do this I dont know. everymorning the 2yrold arrives he cries and as I shut the door to mum he gets really loud so I just hold my hand up to him and say queitly and calmy 'stop and take a breath' and he stops, most times now I just hold up my hand.
I do find that if you talk quitely to children they do stop shouting because they have to be able to hear you but this works more with older ones.
with the food I would not offer anything else if I knew it was a meal they child had eaten before because you will turn her in to a fussy eater if she knows she can refuse somthing and get somting differnet. I offer them their food and if they dont eat it they go hungry till snack time or the next meal time.
yesterday the 19month old refused to eat her plum somthing she would normally eat so she got nothing else, she survived and didnt fade away lol and at snack time the plum (fresh one) dissapered before I could blink .

[KatieFS]

Well if it was my own child they don't get a choice of anything else! But at the childminder training course we were told if a child won't eat a meal you've prepared, you're expected to get then something else, as with holding food could be considered neglectful.
I think she prefers the toast, generally this is my back up plan incase the meal isn't eaten. Maybe I should just give fruit?
Ill try all the suggestions re the shouting!