View Full Version : Why do I bother?

22-02-2013, 04:47 PM
My own son has just come in from his 1 day at playscheme this week ignoring me...after half an hour of trying to prise out of him had something happened at playscheme and being ignored DD went up stairs to talk to him and this is his list of complaints:

We never do anything fun in the holidays-always baby stuff
Mum cares more about the CM kids than us and what they want to do:panic:
He's never allowed friends round to play or sleep over

To say i'm hurt is an understatement...i've explained to him that my life revolves around him and his sister actually and the main reason I decided to CM was because of them-more time at home and more money...that he needs to understand that I work long hours now and I like it to be just us on days off (he had a friend back for tea only 2 weeks ago!) Asked him does he want me to go back to nursery work where he had to sit in the office all day??-he totally ignored me playing his guitar and looking straight ahead-has just come downstairs and said "can I have a friend to sleep over or not?"...erm,not with that attitude mate!

I'm out from 6pm and will be upset all night now-gutted with his attitude tbh.

Oh...and he's 9 years old btw

22-02-2013, 04:57 PM
Hugs to you...I know your pain

My dd is 10 and last week was our half term..she came up with the following

Why can't you have every half term off so we can do things, we never do anything ( she went to the cinema with dad and I booked Thursday off, plus we drove 2hrs down to hampton court palace on Saturday as she's doing Tudors at school)
I have to stay in this boring house ALL week while EVERYONE is out enjoying themselves

I've explained to her many times that I would be happy to give up working but we would have no extra money for going out, holidays, toys, days out, cinema and we would be quite happy sitting in at the weekend or finding a cheap day out such as a cycle......i reminded her of this and she mumbled something under her breath and disappeared upstairs

FACT...kids are born to make us feel guilty and to feel like rubbish parents, nothing is ever enough and when it is its usually not fair :)

Chin up :)

blue bear
22-02-2013, 05:00 PM
Before I even got to the bottom of your post I had guessed his age as 9 or 10, typical behaviour for that age, laid or the guilt on you and then tried to get his own way. Bless him, if only it had worked eh?
My boys all went through this to varying degrees, I'd cry my eyes out and feel like a bad mother,my friend would tell me to stop worrying,normal, just being a pre teen, etc she would tell me.

I talked to them before Christmas and asked if they felt like I pushed them out because of childminding etc, they said no way they loved me minding because I was always there, tld them some of the things they had said (much like your son has said) they said they were just trying it on and being a brat. Mine are 16, 18 and 21.

22-02-2013, 05:01 PM
I have a nearly nine year old son and I've already had about a month's worth of practising for a similar scenario...just remember you are not alone:thumbsup:

22-02-2013, 05:07 PM
My son is 10 and has had his moments. I have explained to him that if I give up minding he will have to go into childcare after school and holidays. He has decided its better for me to carry on.

I do feel guilty but think that goes with the job of being a good mum

Hugs to you xxx

22-02-2013, 05:07 PM
It never changes Im afraid, my DD who is almost 23 by the way only works odd days when they can use her whereas do 48 hours a week, came home the other day and complained that tea wasnt cooked ! I said she get get something, Her reply floored me "" Well at my friends houses their mothers cook for them ! " I replied with at your age most people would help in house and do housework and cooking and cleaning to help me whilst I work too, " " dont think so came the reply ". I was so angry, as most of you know I am newly divorced tho dad hasnt been here for a while ( he took the easier route and got out ) now I have a 27 and 22 year DS and Dd who dont to a tap ! I have tried believe you me I have shouted, talked, taken things off them but it still gets no better, and I get the comment that I like the minded kids better and they get everything they want !. I went out with a girl friend over from Ausie on Wednesday , they were on the settee when I went out with chips from the chip shop they had bought back with them cos they knew I wasnt cooking, They were still both there when I got back, not a thing picked up or done for me. I wasnt happy. Rant over x:eek:

22-02-2013, 05:12 PM
my son is the same and he is 12yrs old, he has always said 'its not fair', today they had the choice of a special treat of what they wanted to do, my daughter suggested a film night in and he totally agreed and was quite happy with it untill the film we choice wasnt what he wanted then it was 'why do we have to have other kids here, why cant we do somthing more excitting' etc etc. he wants to go to a theme park in the summer and I said to him if you want me to gie up childminding I will, really he says, oh yes says I, then a pause then he says, but we wont be able to afford to do anything nice then oh hooray its finaly sunk in! he will still moan on the next hols though lol.
to be honest this hols we havent done anything exciting becasue my partner is using the car for work anyway!

22-02-2013, 05:32 PM
My nearly 9 year old son is just the same , took him my other son and a friend each to pictures £55 sweets £25 McDonalds as a treat £15 just for the kids , at 9 they NEED adult meals tut ! After dropping everyone off I had to nip in shop for some milk, asks if he can some in so I said yes , stood in Q , mum can I have some sweets , me: no L it's 8o clock n it's bed time = paddy ! OMG! Needless to say he got a good talking to ban from anything electric and sent straight to bed ! Ill show him what's not fair !!!!! Arrrr!!! But at least it's not just mine eh lol :)

22-02-2013, 06:48 PM
Mine are teens now but I still get the occasional whinge like oh god does he have to come today? about a certain mindee who is very loud etc but most of the time they realise that if I didnt childmind I would be out at work instead and they would have to come home to an empty house. When they complain about particular children I say things like well having B here today has paid for your ticket to that concert. Usually stops the moaning :thumbsup:

22-02-2013, 06:55 PM
Been there - got the Tshirt - sending hugs xx

22-02-2013, 07:57 PM
My lo's are one & two year olds. Although they seem ok for other children to share their toys & their rooms at the moment, I do wonder how long will it be before they really start objecting .....got all this to look forward to :-(

22-02-2013, 11:35 PM
As always thanks to everyone for your support-it helps to know he's not the only one!

I've just come in and the first thing he's said is to ask again if he can have a friend to stay....erm...still a no as i've had no apology-will talk it over with him tomorrow and explain YET AGAIN about how the mindees pay for nice things and at least i'm home for him even if i'm distracted sometimes.