Going mental.....

[vikkit]

Am I meant to be enjoying this....

I've been childminding for a month now...I have my own boy who's 2 and then a 6 month old, a one year old and a 4 year old.
As far as I'm concerned the younger three are no issue but the all of them together are a nightmare.
My son and the 4 year one minute get on, the next they are pulling, pushing and telling tales.
I have tried distraction, I put my own son on a time out spot when most times he is provoked into situations. Any ideas???
I am at the point where if it doesn't settle then I may look to hand notice....
It's been worse this week as the 4 year off school so more time together to annoy each other. I don't want to do activities as I just end up getting stressed myself...

Got to go they are at it again.....!!!!

[littleguy1]

;) someone said to me the other day, I duno how you do it (get that a lot actually, mainly from the dads when they come to collect and one of the smaller ones are crying lol) and my reply is 'it's definitely a job you become accustomed to'. I used to get so stressed out (my ds is 2.5 and played up quite a bit a few months ago and then one day I thought dya know what, this is his home and he is sharing his things so why should he get ear ache all the time and the schoolies were forever dobbing on him so now I just let them fight it out amongst themselves (obviously within reason lol) and my life is a lot less stressful

[vikkit]

Uh oh - the kids have just gone and I said to the mum there had been some pulling and pushing and tears today. She didn't seem to happy with her little one and said she is happy for me to 'pull the reins in' so to speak.
But I get the feeling she think I'm just blaming her child for upsetting mine which isn't the case.
I also said that her older one is more developed obvs due to age compared to the younger ones and possibly the games she may want to play, the others won't understand etc...
I think she may have gone away upset by it all and her little one didn't say bye to me either :(
Now I'm worries I've upset the mum...I have left it an hour since she has left and tried to call her just to say that maybe it's a case of she's not at home and she's pushing the boundaries and I'm not sure of her boundaries as we are still settling in but she hasn't answered the phone??

[blue bear]

The number of times ive panicked that I've upset mum and she hasn't answered the phone and it's turned out she was perfectly happy and was shopping or some such thing,, try not to worry.
Try looking at this another way instead of looking at all the difficulties, list all the things that are going well and try and get more of that. So if they are really well behaved when out and about get out more, if the garden brings out the best in them get them out in the garden. I know it's cold but with the right gear children don't notice the cold.
Usually children get into mischief when they are bored or tired so try to chivvy them along into doing something else before they get to full on bickering. I zone my lounge so big ones can play on the table with the playmobil and little ones on the mat. Maybe make room behind the sofa so a child can play on its own, let the big children take turns.

[jillplum]

Its all part of the job Im afraid. Some days are bad and some are great. The longer you do it the better you get at refereeing! If mine cant play together nicely I separate them. They soon miss having the others to play with. Try playing lots of games that need turn taking and sharing and if you can do something that needs the older ones to work together. If all else fails lock yourself in the toilet with a cup of coffee :D

[vikkit]

All good ideas... Like the sofa one so may pull the sofa out at the weekend.
The 4 y/o is the eldest and the others are 2 years younger or more but it does need I change so I may introduce a good old fashioned reward chart with stars to add and take away and make the things she can get stars for the things I've noticed her doing/not doing....like

Sitting nicely at the table ( she messes around and fell off the other day and hit her head on the radiator)
Eating her lunch ( I have to encourage her to eat every day and stop her from being distracted otherwise she wouldn't eat)
The pulling/pushing etc
Throwing wrappers and tissues on the floor
Jumping on furniture


What you think?

[Loushah]

Reward charts are good for the older ones, or even just giving them stickers. You soon learn when the nice playing maybe starting to turn nasty....that's when you need to have some methods to diffuse the situation. You will soon learn what works for you & a few more months down the line you will be so much more confident if your own ability.

Have you tried getting the older girl to help you do things, like getting toys for the lo's, helping clear up, bringing food & drinks to table, getting them to read to children ( i.e. picture books & points out what the pictures are etc.). My 2 year old does this with the little mindee's and he went from hitting out a lot to being really caring & always helping out with lo's, they are never without a toy when he is about. Don't get in wrong, he still has his moments but a lot more few & far between.

Hth x