When is bad behaviour something to worry about

[Bright13]

I have been looking after a little boy for 1 year now, he is currently 21 mnths. He was an angel very happy, playful and energetic for first 4-5 months, but his behaviour has got steadily bad, very grizzly, long periods of crying uncontrollably, won't join in activities anymore, wants one on one attention constantly and if can't have it, throws tantrums and has been violent to me and has now started to be spiteful with other children. Tantrums and grizzling at snack & meal times, including holding food in his mouth and refusing to spit or swallow, trying to make himself sick etc. Also sleeping alot 3-5 hours a day and poos 4-8 per day. Any advice, is this normal behaviour for terrible two's, or like me do you think its something more serious. Any tips on how to handle it. Tried time out, crying corner, ignoring and walking away, nothing seems to be helping.

[nipper]

Have you talked about it with mum/dad or has anything happened at home?
I would document it, as it would be useful to see exactly when it started happening.
Someone will be along in a moment with better advice.

[Bright13]

Have you talked about it with mum/dad or has anything happened at home?
I would document it, as it would be useful to see exactly when it started happening.
Someone will be along in a moment with better advice.

I have spoken to Mum & Dad, they are adamant it is teething and terrible two's. They say GP has confirmed this. He was seen by Paediatrician and diagnosed as iron deficient anaemic, this was around the time when the problems started. According to Mum his iron levels are normal and he is ok, but still taking iron supplements prescribed by GP. His tiredness, grumpiness and bowel motions etc have not improved however and now his behaviour is getting worse. Not sure how to broach the subject of underlying medical condition again with Mum & Dad, as they do not seem to want to face it and are not willing to push further with GP.

[QualityCare]

Sounds a bit like attention seeking that he gets away with at home, once they've created one issue that gets given into then they have to think of another way to get attention, winging whining when told something this gets given into, then tantrums to get own way this works so some children can then make themselves sick on demand and some will breath hold until they lose consciousness, ignore everything unless he is going to harm other people, if he doesn't want to play don't let it bother you, when he holds on to a mouth full of food ignore it until everyone else has finished remove his food and tell him he can get down when his mouth is empty, when he harms others swiftly move him with "we do not do that" in a stern voice and place him away from the others to play or sit as he chooses, l wouldn't use time-out etc yet until you have resolved some of the other issues, it will be a long hard process but with consistency and firmness things will improve. Speak to mum and dad but don't be too negative just mention he is having a few tantrums with you are they having any at home and ask how they deal with it and then say what you do, if they tell you they are having a lot of problems suggest you work out a plan together to help him. I had one child years ago exactly the same mum saw no problems and as soon as mum arrived LO would start on about something "l want to play" it was always l want ...... mum would be all wishy washy "not now darling" "come on darling"child would start crying mum would say she's going to be sick child promptly threw up on my floor after several days of this mum wasn't allowed in. Child was never sick with me when she didn't get her own way she was sternly told "you needn't start crying and make yourself sick"

[mama2three]

Iron supplements can cause constipation , which in turn can cause an 'overflow' which appears similar to diarrhoea. It is particularly uncomfortablke whilst eating too which might be why snack and mealtime has become an issue. If he has chronic constipation he will feel rotten , which will undoubtedly show in his behaviour poor child. parents really should be having lo checked out , if there are no medical issues then it becomes easier to tackle the usual toddler attention seeking behaviours.

[jillplum]

It can be really difficult to tell if child is ill or just being a 2 year old lol. If he is always upset then maybe there is a medical problem. If he is only upset when he doesnt gey his own way then maybe he is just being 2. Try keeping a log to see if there is a pattern.

[RuthJ]

Iron supplements can cause constipation , which in turn can cause an 'overflow' which appears similar to diarrhoea. It is particularly uncomfortablke whilst eating too which might be why snack and mealtime has become an issue. If he has chronic constipation he will feel rotten , which will undoubtedly show in his behaviour poor child. parents really should be having lo checked out , if there are no medical issues then it becomes easier to tackle the usual toddler attention seeking behaviours.

I can vouch for this as my son went through a phase of 'withholding' his poo and his behaviour was horrendous, he couldn't focus on anything, didn't eat . Once he emptied his bowels he was honestly like a different child. It's definitely worth checking if he's constipated.

I would say 3 - 5 hours sleep in the day is quite a lot for a 21 month old - what's his evening routine like? Does he have a late bedtime?

Hope you can get to the bottom (no pun intended :laughing:) of things soon xx