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View Full Version : 2moro is going to be a hard emotional day!!



Carol
19-02-2013, 10:06 PM
:(
Today one of my parents texted me to tell me her 1 year old son died last night. I have been looking after her other children for many years. He was born prematurely with his twin brother. His twin brother is ok (and I have been minding him for 3 months) but there were many complications for the other twin (which meant he needed special care).
Mom texted me earlier asking me to have the other 4 children tomorrow aged from 11 - 1. Of course I said yes, anything to help the family. I know the younger children will be fine here, but the 11 year old will probably ask lots of questions. I just hope I can support and give her the comfort she needs.

Carol :(

The Juggler
19-02-2013, 10:10 PM
oh my goodness hon. how very sad. I'm so sorry this has happened. I'm sure you will be strong for them tomorrow. That poor mum. :panic:

mum24
19-02-2013, 10:11 PM
How sad. Will be thinking of you, :group hug::group hug:

SDC34cr
19-02-2013, 10:12 PM
Oh bless, be strong and i am sure the comfort you give them will help ease the situation. x

tulip0803
19-02-2013, 10:20 PM
:group hug: What an awful thing to happen. Thankfully you are there to support them so they do not have to worry about the other children. Good luck thinking of you and the family xx

linzi66
19-02-2013, 10:26 PM
Didn't want to read and leave .what a awful sad situation be strong, any support will be beneficial to the family right now x

Jenna
19-02-2013, 10:30 PM
That's so sad but at least you can take the weight off her shoulders by looking after the other children without her having to worry about it. I'm sure you'll be fine just do lots of exciting activities to keep everyone busy. Sending big hugs your way. X

CathyAmy
19-02-2013, 10:30 PM
How very sad - poor family - at least the children have you to support them - must be a great help for the Mum knowing they are with you.

lisbet
19-02-2013, 10:31 PM
My heart goes out to his family and to you :group hug:

I hope you can take some comfort in knowing what a support you must be being to them xx

TAZ
19-02-2013, 10:43 PM
:group hug::group hug:
So very sad, You will be a great support to the family however. Knowing that their children are well cared for will enable them to deal with practicalities and be free to grieve without having 'to be strong' for the other children.
All children (& adults) cope differently after the death of someone so close to them, just take your cues from them. They may want to talk or they may want to just get on with being busy & not having to think.
:group hug::group hug:

Littleglees
19-02-2013, 10:43 PM
So sad :-( condolences to the family and to you.
Sare :-) x

MessybutHappy
19-02-2013, 11:07 PM
Have you heard of a book called Badgers parting gifts? It's all about how badgers friends cope with his death by remembering all the things he taught them...it may not be ideal because badger is old in the story, but may perhaps either help the children, or you in chatting with the children...I think the author is susan varley...I'm sure their baby brother will have taught them something positive, even if it isn't a tangible skill?
I'm expect that the normality of them coming to your home will be hugely helpful for them, and will be thinking of you and them tomorrow. This is sent with my very best wishes.

shortstuff
19-02-2013, 11:37 PM
How very special you must be to the parents at a time when all instincts say to keep the other twin close they trust you to care for the siblings. Well done for offering so much support in such a testing time.

smurfette
19-02-2013, 11:53 PM
How very special you must be to the parents at a time when all instincts say to keep the other twin close they trust you to care for the siblings. Well done for offering so much support in such a testing time.

Plus one!

Thinking of you and them tomorrow xx

greanan
20-02-2013, 06:36 AM
Sending hugs xxxx

funemnx
20-02-2013, 06:56 AM
How very special you must be to the parents at a time when all instincts say to keep the other twin close they trust you to care for the siblings. Well done for offering so much support in such a testing time.

Thinking of you today.... :group hug:

messyplay
20-02-2013, 06:59 AM
Cant imagine what parents are going through just keep hugging those children today

Cottonsocks
20-02-2013, 07:13 AM
You're all in my thoughts today. X

merry
20-02-2013, 07:17 AM
:group hug: thinking of you today

:)

sarah707
20-02-2013, 07:38 AM
Check with mum what they are saying about the death - how they are describing it to the older child - what words they are using about heaven, angels etc so you can say the same things.

Sending hugs for today xx

Daisy De
20-02-2013, 07:40 AM
Sending hugs :group hug:

Tinkerbell1979
20-02-2013, 07:43 AM
Oh my, how awful. Hugs xxx

mama2three
20-02-2013, 08:01 AM
How lucky the family are to have you at such a heartbreaking time , knowing their other children are safe and loved. I think everyone may need lots of hugs today , take care x

nipper
20-02-2013, 08:06 AM
Sending you hugs

miffy
20-02-2013, 08:14 AM
Thinking of you all today xx

Miffy xx

loocyloo
20-02-2013, 08:30 AM
thinking of you all, take care and many hugs to you all.

xxx

mazza58
20-02-2013, 08:40 AM
how sad sending big hugs to you and the family

QualityCare
20-02-2013, 08:44 AM
Very sad my thoughts are with you, :group hug: for you and the family

ChocolateChip
20-02-2013, 08:56 AM
So sad, thinking of you and the family today hun xx :group hug::group hug:

mum22
20-02-2013, 09:01 AM
Thoughts and prayers are with you and the family x

halor
20-02-2013, 09:03 AM
Oh my goodness, that's awful. I can't even imagine what the family must be going through. I so know however that any practical help given will be a godsend.

I think, although I haven't been in this situation, all you can do is be honest with them eldest. If you don't know the answer to their questions be honest and say you don't know but you can find the answers together although there may be things that no one can answer. :group hug:

RuthJ
20-02-2013, 06:27 PM
:group hug:

Only just seen this, how terribly sad for everyone :(

Hope today went OK - I'm sure the children were glad to have you caring for them at such a difficult time. xx

rickysmiths
20-02-2013, 06:31 PM
So sad for all of you :group hug::group hug:

Thinking of all of you in my prayers.

Allie
20-02-2013, 06:35 PM
Praying for you and the family

SammySplodger
20-02-2013, 06:40 PM
Hope it's going ok for you. I looked after 3 boys under 5 whose Mum had an accident and died. I found Winston's Wish really useful. I also had help from a child psychologist, who recommended absolute honesty and said not to worry if I got upset in front of the boys, which I did from time to time.
Hug x

SammySplodger
20-02-2013, 06:41 PM
http://www.winstonswish.org.uk/

christine e
20-02-2013, 08:00 PM
:group hug:

Thinking of you and the family

Cx

stargazer1
20-02-2013, 08:56 PM
Lots of love and thoughts to all of you. Hope today wasn't too awful. Children are so amazingly resilient, but the parents are going to need soooo much support. How lovely that they think so much of you and have turned to you at such a horrendous time for them. Sending lots of hugs xxxxxx

samb
20-02-2013, 09:16 PM
Oh how awful :-( Hope today went ok for you x

scottishlass
20-02-2013, 09:38 PM
Thinking of you and hope you got through today ok - very sad to hear xxx

Carol
20-02-2013, 09:56 PM
Thank you all for your kind words, prayers and messages.
Today was one of the hardest days in my career, but in a strange way rewarding too.
The oldest one was upset the other 3 were fine. I sat down and listened to the oldest one and we had a good chat and a few tears together. I said how lucky her brother was to have such a lovely sister and family. We talked about the times which were special to her. After a while I asked her what she would like to do and she asked if we could go out. I gave her a few ideas and she and her brothers wanted to go to a Wacky Warehouse. I told her I would be there if she needed to have a cuddle or talk, but it was lovely to see these children having some fun (at this sad time).
We came back after a couple of hours to have lunch (nan had said the oldest hadnt eaten yesterday) but she sat and ate most of her lunch. We then all made special cards for their little brother and there was such a lot of love around and they were so proud of their work.
They went home at the end of the day with smiles and thanked me..........it was a special day for all of us.
Mom texted me later to thank me and asked how much I owed her. I texted her back and said its was my way of helping her children when they all needed me.

Carol

mazza58
20-02-2013, 09:59 PM
What a lovely day you made it for the children on such a sad day, I am sure it helped their mum knowing that they were safe and cared for so well by you.

Mouse
20-02-2013, 10:01 PM
Oh Carol, that's brought a lump to my throat.

You've allowed the children to have a day being themselves, which is probably exactly what they needed.

(((hugs))) to you all.

WibbleWobble
20-02-2013, 10:35 PM
I have just explained to mr wobble the back story then read him your last post. I actually shed a tear and my big biker got all choked up and poked the fire a bit harder than normal.

You are a lovely lady

They are lucky to have you


Wibble xxxxxxxx

lubeam
20-02-2013, 11:11 PM
awwe thankfully they had you today ! well done for bein so strong for them .
:group hug:

Kiddleywinks
21-02-2013, 06:18 AM
Sounds like you were exactly what they all needed, including parents.
Well done you for being a calming influence during a traumatic experience :group hug:

VeggieSausage
21-02-2013, 06:42 AM
Thank you all for your kind words, prayers and messages.
Today was one of the hardest days in my career, but in a strange way rewarding too.
The oldest one was upset the other 3 were fine. I sat down and listened to the oldest one and we had a good chat and a few tears together. I said how lucky her brother was to have such a lovely sister and family. We talked about the times which were special to her. After a while I asked her what she would like to do and she asked if we could go out. I gave her a few ideas and she and her brothers wanted to go to a Wacky Warehouse. I told her I would be there if she needed to have a cuddle or talk, but it was lovely to see these children having some fun (at this sad time).
We came back after a couple of hours to have lunch (nan had said the oldest hadnt eaten yesterday) but she sat and ate most of her lunch. We then all made special cards for their little brother and there was such a lot of love around and they were so proud of their work.
They went home at the end of the day with smiles and thanked me..........it was a special day for all of us.
Mom texted me later to thank me and asked how much I owed her. I texted her back and said its was my way of helping her children when they all needed me.

Carol

you did so well, such a sad story, shame life can't be kinder sometimes x

FussyElmo
21-02-2013, 06:54 AM
Mum is lucky to have an amazing childminder who was what the children needed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

lynncjt
21-02-2013, 07:47 AM
Carol, what a lovely person you are - the family are so lucky to have you.

Boris
21-02-2013, 07:47 AM
Oh Carol, how awful. It sounds like the family really appreciate and trust you. Well done for handling it so well. xx

jillplum
21-02-2013, 08:39 AM
Well done for making an awful situation a little easier for a little while. Give yourself a hug x

MessybutHappy
21-02-2013, 08:41 AM
I was thinking of you all day, sounds like you handled it perfectly. I hope you are ok too.

SYLVIA
21-02-2013, 02:59 PM
Showing those children that their life still goes on and keeping normality whilst supporting them emotionally. What a good job you did and what a lovely childminder you are to that family.

cathtee
21-02-2013, 09:35 PM
Mum is lucky to have an amazing childminder who was what the children needed xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I know Carol personally and you couldn't have put it better, She is an amazing childminder and will always go the extra mile to help
parents and children.

Carol
21-02-2013, 10:10 PM
I know Carol personally and you couldn't have put it better, She is an amazing childminder and will always go the extra mile to help
parents and children.

Thank you Cath xxx

nipper
21-02-2013, 10:14 PM
One in a million Carol:thumbsup:

angeldelight
21-02-2013, 11:00 PM
:(
Today one of my parents texted me to tell me her 1 year old son died last night. I have been looking after her other children for many years. He was born prematurely with his twin brother. His twin brother is ok (and I have been minding him for 3 months) but there were many complications for the other twin (which meant he needed special care).
Mom texted me earlier asking me to have the other 4 children tomorrow aged from 11 - 1. Of course I said yes, anything to help the family. I know the younger children will be fine here, but the 11 year old will probably ask lots of questions. I just hope I can support and give her the comfort she needs.

Carol :(

That is just so awful Carol

Thinking of the family and thinking of you too

Big massive hugs , hope you are ok

Angel xx