View Full Version : Feel terrible but....

31-01-2013, 10:28 AM
Think I may have to let the parent I have on retainer down. She is a lovely woman and very anxious about leaving the baby in fact I think it's a real possibility that she may not even go back to work, has been paying me retainer since start of jan and wants space for end April. I am lucky there is a lot of work here and not enough minders (if I could send some all your way I would!) and have had a lot of enquiries lately.

Problem is my back has gotten very bad with lifting the new little man he is 1 year but was preemie so not even thinking of walking yet and e is very heavy, I also have little sis of one of my mindees part Time she is 10 months. To be Honest have been finding it stressful days I have both in the afternoon as also have two older toddlers, my three girls and another schoolie. Have swapped little sis hours to morning so should be better. I am worried about coping with this new baby (10 months) as most days will have two babies and some days three (I am allowed two under 15 months and eldest one will be 15 months when newest one starts) both with my stress levels and my back now. I also need to move two existing parents around .. One works from home and although it doesn't suit her as well she understand. And the other I may lose the little fella who I am really attachéd to (he does a 3 day week one week and 5 the next with no retainer and would have to cut him down to 3 days) I also would have to give notice to my schoolie at end of contract (only here until end may) as I wouldn't manage .. He is a bit wired and inclined to get in the way but I do like him.

Actually just had an enquiry from a lady who only wants two days a week which would mean I didn't have to move anyone around or give anyone notice, and also lighten the load with the babies as they wouldn't clash as much, and am seriously thinking this might be a better option for me. It would also work better on a family level with the girls after school activities and as it happens earn more money since i won't be reducing anyone's hours or letting anyone go.

So on a business level it makes more sense, but for the other poor parent it's not really fair, I would of course refund retainer money but wouldn't really be able to help with finding her someone else as don't know any other minders though I could put her in touch with the childminding board who keep a list of registered minders

Sorry for long windedness, what would u do??!

31-01-2013, 10:35 AM
I think you already know what it is you want to do, but let this mum know as soon as possible, l would explain that although you will probably take on another child with your back suffering you need to put your health first and the days suit you better, return the retainer paid and apologise for letting her down, as you said she is uncertain whether she will return to work so it might help her reach a decision.

31-01-2013, 11:01 AM
I agree with Quality Care, just be as supportive as you can with this mum, but you need to look after yourself and your business. If you took this lo and then in a couple of months really did damage your back and couldn't work, you would be letting all your parents down, not to mention the pain and upset to yourself. It really is hard to disappoint someone sometimes and you obviously care very much, but do look after yourself. :)

The Juggler
31-01-2013, 11:05 AM
i agree with the others hon. put yourself first. explain to mum that if you do this, you will end up unfit to work and will not be able to provide care to anyone. Explain to her she'll get her retainer back in full and maybe offer to help all you can with finding her someone else :thumbsup:

31-01-2013, 11:07 AM
all you can do hun is offer a refund and explain that you can not take her child afterall.
personally i would not mention the back thing. she may see it as an excuse and wonder how you can still have the other children but not hers (if its your back)
i would also be worried about the idea your saying i'm not healthy enought to have your child but i can have others? just a thought really.
i would maybe say you dont have the place available anymore.

05-02-2013, 09:24 AM
Thanks all, sorry being so long getting back to you but have read the replies as they came in! The two day a week lady came to see me and she wants me to have Lo, turned out I knew her hubby from school! Lovely family but little one is very heavy, to be honest she is overweight.. They give her water with sugar in or squash! (10 months!) her teeth will rot before they come down! My back has improved somewhat so still Dithering about what to do,, don't seem to be able to make a decision,, whatever I do I will probably be letting someone down.: if I take on the original lady I may be letting down existing parents by moving their hours and if I take on the second lady I will let down the first ,, i am so stressed!!

05-02-2013, 09:40 AM
By paying you a retainer the parent has paid you to keep a space open for her and by taking it you have agreed to do so, from you original post this is being paid weekly/monthly until April, in my opinion you need to let her know as soon as possible what you decide to do and find out her exact plans as you cannot fill the days she has asked for.

05-02-2013, 12:52 PM
Thanks qualitycare, rang her This am and explained, she understandably was not too happy but was very nice about it, bless her she even offered me more money! Really wasn't the best solution for my back as would have meant two babies plus one or two toddlers every day of the week and I explained to her that I felt it was better to be honest now than take her on and not be able to do it if my back gave in. She is emailing me bank details and will repay retainer immediately, feel like a weight has been lifted off.. I took it on in good faith wouldn't have dreamed of not doing it but I guess these things don't always work out as planned, thanks all for support xx