Fussy eater

[MrsP2C]

I've got a new mindee (nearly 4) 3 days a week who is a *very* fussy eater & I'm struggling to know what to feed him that is healthy & doesn't start the others going off all the soups & sandwiches they normally devour.
The only meal he has with me is lunch & so far he's refused every sandwich (only wants jam which I won't do), only fruit he'll touch is banana, won't touch soup, eggs, pasta etc. I really don't want to start doing separate meals but can't give him beans on toast (his favourite) everyday.
What do you do about fussy eaters when you want to adhere to a healthy eating policy? I've tried to encourage trying things & he did nibble a bit of cheese today but declared it as yucky the minute it touched his lips - I was very OTT in my praise for trying but suspect he's just so closed to the idea of new food he isn't going to change in the short time he's with me & mum seems to go along with his fussiness and gives him what he wants.

[nipper]

Hmmm, tricky one. Why not try and involve him in preparing lunch from setting the table to making the food...?
Sorry not much help but worth a try? Either that or ask mum to send a packed lunch and them you can see the sort of foods she gives to him:D
My dd aged 6 always helps her dad do soup, and she loves choosing the vegetables to be used as well as washing and peeling them...maybe worth a try, although I appreciate how long it takes to make soup.

[RuthJ]

Will he eat jacket potato with baked beans?

I would probably just give him what I've prepared for the others and once he realised there is no alternative he might just start to eat. Failing that can Mum provide a packed lunch?

One of my mindees is very similar. But he has surprised me a few times and polished off a sandwich with the other children without fuss. However I've not had him much recently as his mum has been on maternity leave and he's back to his old ways, so I can sympathise with you. Is he with you every day?

[chocolateygoo]

Hi

(Speaking from experience as the parent of a very fussy eater).

You need to talk to the parents and try to find out the reasons why he is fussy and what they have tried so far, right from when he was a baby. Was he a low weight and did he need a feeding tube at any time for any reason, were there any problems milk feeding e.g. reflux? How did weaning go - a struggle, or fine and he became fussy at an older stage? What tactics are parents using at home, what works and what doesn't, are they getting any support? What food will he eat - is it less than 10 items, or is there a large range that's just a bit unhealthy?

In general I think very fussy eaters can be any or a combination of three reasons:
1. Pyschological - fear of eating something new, due to lack of exposure to various foods, and their own personality - a general fear of the unknown, new situations, etc. (Unpleasant past experiences due to sensory overload, gagging etc will almost certainly give a pschological element to it).
2. Sensory - being highly sensitive to sensations including heat and taste can mean some children just can't cope with the sensation of eating new foods. Does he like messy play etc?
3. Physical - hasn't got good oral motor skills to chew and swallow, may gag on food like meat that is tricky to chew, prefers purees or soft dissolve food like wotsits. May have a speech delay. If you suspect this you may need to refer to a speech and language therapist for more help.

For the most extreme eaters, especially if weight is a worry, priority 1 is making sure he gets enough calories and is relaxed and enjoys eating food with you, without worrying about dietary balance. Meanwhile he is old enough to start learning about healthy eating from a theoretical perspective. So you could do a week's theme on eating: talk about your teeth and what they do, get a book on the digestive system, look at lots of different foods and talk about what they give you (e.g. what vitamins are), food exploration and tasting sessions away from the dinner table with no pressure. Lots of messy play. Hopefully should be educational for all your mindees to talk about what they do and don't like. This link below is quite good, hope it works:

https://www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/c/document_library/get_file?uuid=a9fbda7a-8d4c-4faf-8cd5-2764796f81f6&groupId=11803

If he's actually not that fussy, just eats a lot of unhealthy stuff at home and has never been exposed to the things you are offering, then you still need to be patient but I think can be a bit harder about not feeding him unhealthy stuff, so long as parents are on board with this and accept that he may come home hungry. I think you're always supposed to offer something you know he will eat (e.g. bread and butter! Nothing 'special' so as to not make the others jealous!) alongside something new to try.

Hope that helps!

[jadavi]

That is great advice chocolategoo and such an appropriate name!

I feel if parents cave in and just feed choc spread it's very hard for you to do anything. I include lunch in my price so have never asked parents for a packed lunch but wish I had now for these fussy eaters.

[nipper]

Hi

(Speaking from experience as the parent of a very fussy eater).

You need to talk to the parents and try to find out the reasons why he is fussy and what they have tried so far, right from when he was a baby. Was he a low weight and did he need a feeding tube at any time for any reason, were there any problems milk feeding e.g. reflux? How did weaning go - a struggle, or fine and he became fussy at an older stage? What tactics are parents using at home, what works and what doesn't, are they getting any support? What food will he eat - is it less than 10 items, or is there a large range that's just a bit unhealthy?

In general I think very fussy eaters can be any or a combination of three reasons:
1. Pyschological - fear of eating something new, due to lack of exposure to various foods, and their own personality - a general fear of the unknown, new situations, etc. (Unpleasant past experiences due to sensory overload, gagging etc will almost certainly give a pschological element to it).
2. Sensory - being highly sensitive to sensations including heat and taste can mean some children just can't cope with the sensation of eating new foods. Does he like messy play etc?
3. Physical - hasn't got good oral motor skills to chew and swallow, may gag on food like meat that is tricky to chew, prefers purees or soft dissolve food like wotsits. May have a speech delay. If you suspect this you may need to refer to a speech and language therapist for more help.

For the most extreme eaters, especially if weight is a worry, priority 1 is making sure he gets enough calories and is relaxed and enjoys eating food with you, without worrying about dietary balance. Meanwhile he is old enough to start learning about healthy eating from a theoretical perspective. So you could do a week's theme on eating: talk about your teeth and what they do, get a book on the digestive system, look at lots of different foods and talk about what they give you (e.g. what vitamins are), food exploration and tasting sessions away from the dinner table with no pressure. Lots of messy play. Hopefully should be educational for all your mindees to talk about what they do and don't like. This link below is quite good, hope it works:

https://www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/c/document_library/get_file?uuid=a9fbda7a-8d4c-4faf-8cd5-2764796f81f6&groupId=11803

If he's actually not that fussy, just eats a lot of unhealthy stuff at home and has never been exposed to the things you are offering, then you still need to be patient but I think can be a bit harder about not feeding him unhealthy stuff, so long as parents are on board with this and accept that he may come home hungry. I think you're always supposed to offer something you know he will eat (e.g. bread and butter! Nothing 'special' so as to not make the others jealous!) alongside something new to try.

Hope that helps!


Wow, just printed off this reply to put in my 'important' folder. Thanks very much for that:thumbsup:

[Paulab]

Hi

(Speaking from experience as the parent of a very fussy eater).

You need to talk to the parents and try to find out the reasons why he is fussy and what they have tried so far, right from when he was a baby. Was he a low weight and did he need a feeding tube at any time for any reason, were there any problems milk feeding e.g. reflux? How did weaning go - a struggle, or fine and he became fussy at an older stage? What tactics are parents using at home, what works and what doesn't, are they getting any support? What food will he eat - is it less than 10 items, or is there a large range that's just a bit unhealthy?

In general I think very fussy eaters can be any or a combination of three reasons:
1. Pyschological - fear of eating something new, due to lack of exposure to various foods, and their own personality - a general fear of the unknown, new situations, etc. (Unpleasant past experiences due to sensory overload, gagging etc will almost certainly give a pschological element to it).
2. Sensory - being highly sensitive to sensations including heat and taste can mean some children just can't cope with the sensation of eating new foods. Does he like messy play etc?
3. Physical - hasn't got good oral motor skills to chew and swallow, may gag on food like meat that is tricky to chew, prefers purees or soft dissolve food like wotsits. May have a speech delay. If you suspect this you may need to refer to a speech and language therapist for more help.

For the most extreme eaters, especially if weight is a worry, priority 1 is making sure he gets enough calories and is relaxed and enjoys eating food with you, without worrying about dietary balance. Meanwhile he is old enough to start learning about healthy eating from a theoretical perspective. So you could do a week's theme on eating: talk about your teeth and what they do, get a book on the digestive system, look at lots of different foods and talk about what they give you (e.g. what vitamins are), food exploration and tasting sessions away from the dinner table with no pressure. Lots of messy play. Hopefully should be educational for all your mindees to talk about what they do and don't like. This link below is quite good, hope it works:

https://www.infantandtoddlerforum.org/c/document_library/get_file?uuid=a9fbda7a-8d4c-4faf-8cd5-2764796f81f6&groupId=11803

If he's actually not that fussy, just eats a lot of unhealthy stuff at home and has never been exposed to the things you are offering, then you still need to be patient but I think can be a bit harder about not feeding him unhealthy stuff, so long as parents are on board with this and accept that he may come home hungry. I think you're always supposed to offer something you know he will eat (e.g. bread and butter! Nothing 'special' so as to not make the others jealous!) alongside something new to try.

Hope that helps!


Wow what fab advise, I'm printing this off too :-)

[Daisy De]

No help I know but these threads just make me so glad I do not offer any meals :)

[MrsP2C]

Thank you all so much especially chocolate for such a detailed & helpful post

[jillplum]

I am also glad I dont offer meals lol. However reading the info on this thread has get me thinking. I boy I mind aged 2 is very fixed in his food choices and wont try new foods. He is also very wary of messy play and will only participate whilst holding a spoon etc. I think I will do loads of messy play with him and see if his eating improves too. Mrs O will love that :D

[willow2806]

Wow, what wonderful advice chocolateygoo! Not been on here for a while and so glad I've checked in, you've given me food for thought!

[Helen79]

Most health food shops sell pure fruit puree jam which would be a healthier alternative to normal jam. My own children aren't fussy eaters but only started eating soup when they were maybe 4/5 as it's something that we never really ate when they were little and they still find it tricky to eat unless they're loads of bread to dunk in it.
It's important to offer healthy foods but it's just as important that he gets some form of energy during the day so I would just give him a jam sandwich and banana for now alongside other food to try and work on expanding the variety of food he will try over time. Would he try a banana sandwich?

[fionamadcat]

I could have written the original post about a year ago (although my mindee has just turned 4 now!). We are starting to have some success with his eating only in the past few months, he will now eat pasta, cheese sandwichs and a few other things that he wouldn't before. I have had to enlist the help of 1 of my older mindees, when C says he likes a particular food L will normally at least try it. Unfortunately C is by no means a great eater but we are getting somewhere, when L eats something new he gets loads of praise and a sticker. Parents are on board too though. The first time he ate pasta at home he asked his mum to phone me to tell me!

[Samcat]

Some really useful information. Thank you, I've printed it off too!

[Tazmin68]

Hi

I have two fussy eaters and they are in fact my own two boys. My oldest one is now 10 years old and has aspergers and it is sensory issues. Will not have butter on bread, breakfast is toasted muffins with jam. Has great difficulty in having vegetables and will only eat baby carrots and boiled broccoli. Will not have "wet food" for example cauliflower and broccoli cheese, baked beans or a pie which has gravy or any sort of sauce. If have pizza has to be plain cheese and tomato. Will not touch pasta.

Problem with younger so is that it is learned and copied behaviour which we are continually challenging and as he is now at school we are trying to work together in trying to overcome this. Because I worry about lack of veg I o make them have multi vitamins. My younger son after a lot of tears and strops eventually does eat a little veg but them seems to try and gag to be sick which is difficult as all we want is for him to eat a balanced meal.

[migimoo]

Not got any advice just wanted to send my support and say i've been there.:group hug:

The problem with the LO I have lies with the parents....she has EXACTLY the same for her packed lunch every day and mum stands at the fridge and asks her to tell her what she wants her to cook her for tea every day....as a result lives on pizza,nuggets,smiley faces,etc.....when we food taste for celebrations/multi-cultural she becomes hysterical that she might have to be near an unknown food:panic: