View Full Version : Help needed!

11-12-2012, 10:57 PM
Hi everyone...

I was after some advice if you wouldn't mind.. I currently mind 2 x 2 year olds and 1 x 8 month old Mon-Fri. The 8 month old has been with me for 2 weeks and is causing absolute mayhem! She is constantly crying to be picked up and the only time she seems content is when she is stuck to my hip and I am carrying her around. Her crying definitely has a temper to it and her parents tell me it's a bit of an issue at home (crying to be picked up all the time etc). Today has been the worst day so far. She literally cried all day and it's really starting to effect the other children I have with me. They were both crying today and one of them asked me to "take her back". The parents of one of the 2 year olds arrived to collect her little darling and looked in complete shock at the screaming coming from the 8month old!

I am trying my hardest to comfort her and help her settle but at the same time, I HAVE to see to the other children so the screaming continues! I have never experienced this before - especially with a child as young as 8months old - and was wondering if anyone had any advice they could offer? Is 2 weeks too soon to expect her to settle at this age? Obviously, I have to consider my other two children who have been with me for a while with no problems.. until now. Do I suggest she finds alternative childcare if it continues to effect the other children?

Help needed pleeeaaaasse!

Thanking you all so much in advance.

Thee xxx

blue bear
12-12-2012, 08:11 AM
Ah, the joys of a screamer!
I'm not of the school of leave them to scream, lo is used to being picked up whenever she screams and now she is with a carer that is new to her and she has to share that carer with two other children, no wonder she screams.

It can take weeks and sometimes months to settle a screamer, luckily yours is full time. I play with baby on my knee, graduating to between my legs, next to me, further and further away. When you can't hold lo, try strapping her in a car seat or pushchair, wrap her with a blanket to offer extra support. Constantly talking softly, reassuring her she is ok and you are there.
I often find walking them around the garden in the buggy helps.

12-12-2012, 08:14 AM
Has the 8 month old ever been left with anyone (ie family) before - if not then the settling in does tend to take a while....

Do the parents carry her around ALL THE TIME at home - if so you need to get them on board as the lo will expect it all the time with you as well, I speak from experience had a lo that screamed all day to be picked up, mum denied to my face she was carrying him round, but heard the opposite from other people so I was fighting a loosing battle........!!

hectors house
12-12-2012, 08:33 AM
Does it make any difference if she can just see you at all times, can you pop her in highchair in kitchen when you need to get snacks, drinks or meals, or have you got a baby walker or door bouncer (difficult I know when you have other children who want to race lo round or catapult across the room!), has she got a comfort object from home - muslin cloth, soft toy or dummy?

The parents are going to have to not pick her up so much at home, you can't break the habit of wanting to be held all the time all by yourself.

I know it is hard yesterday had a 12 month old who was feeling under the weather and he wouldn't let me put him down in the afternoon, he wasn't really upset - no tears just screaming - I couldn't get on with the Xmas craft and baking that I had planned.

As blue bear says try to slide her off your lap when you are sitting on the floor, to between your legs but with your arms still round her - she needs to be on the floor to help her sitting up and crawling development.

12-12-2012, 09:12 AM
I had an 8 mnth old start in Sept and he was exactly the same-would scream until he was sick but the second I picked him up he's stop like someone had pressed the 'off' button

It took about 6-8 weeks to get him fully out of this i'm afraid as this is the age that babies start realising mum has gone.

I tried most of the above methods but nothing worked,it was just a case of being patient,lots of 'disney smiles and voices' and building the trust....he is now the loveliest,smiliest 11 mnth old ever and doesn't want to go home-I hope this will be the case for you too.

12-12-2012, 01:43 PM
You have my sympathies, my mindee (12 months) is the same. She is calmer when I hold her, but the only place she settles fully is in the pushchair or car seat. This is her second day of her third week, and she has been better this morning, fingers crossed!

12-12-2012, 05:04 PM
I had a short-term 8 month old screamer. I only had him twice a week for 8 weeks and the last day he came he was a totally different child unfortunately he moved away:(.

I found him happiest in a pushchair if I could not hold him preferably with something to eat:rolleyes:. I did sit on the floor with him on my lap then between my legs and could slowly move further away like blue bear. Each day we would start again and each day it got quicker and easier.

Unfortunately I had a sibling variation for him so I also had a 14 month old and 2 x 2 year olds so he did have to get used to the fact that I had to change bums etc, I did find that I felt stressed which I never do normally. Luckily it was summer so we could go out lots and lots.