finding it hard to get over

[lorettacritchet]

hi,
i know this may seem silly but I am finding it really hard to get over a client leaving me. Things were going so well with us. She planned to continue care and even give me her 2 month old child in January. Here was me thinking I was all set.

The mother gave birth two weeks ago and I looked after the year old on a saturday etc No problems. On the Monday came down with a severe ear infection and began vomiting which continued for a whole week. Anyways the following monday i told the mother I was happy to start work again despite still having the ear infection. She turned up looked at me and said I looked yellow and took the year old back home again. I explained to her I was fine to workand my assistant would turn up soon. I thought everything was fine and then that night I receive a text from the partner telling me they were cancelling the contract.

I was really shocked and asked what was going on. the partner came up with all sorts of lies and excuses such as I was sick too often (I have taken one week off with severe vomiting since they started don't think it's wise to work like that) and then said I told him I didn't work saturday - again another lie, all I asked was he be back by 4.30pm amongst other lies.....it took me five times to explain to him that I do not accept terminations by text.
I know this may all seem normal for some parents but I can't get over the lies he has manipulated to this point. I could understand if I have done something wrong but I haven't. It's just the lies and manipulation that has got to me.

[ziggy]

Dont quite know what to say other than parents can be very very odd.

Maybe so soon after giving birth she is a bit over emotional and maybe in a few days things will be different.

If i was in this situation, I would write letter saying how you have enjoyed minding their child and will be happy to continue, however if they no longer need the place they need to five notice in writing as agreed in contract.

Having been in childcare for over 30yrs i find the hardest part is dealing with parents


Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xx

[eddie]

Dont quite know what to say other than parents can be very very odd.

Maybe so soon after giving birth she is a bit over emotional and maybe in a few days things will be different.

If i was in this situation, I would write letter saying how you have enjoyed minding their child and will be happy to continue, however if they no longer need the place they need to five notice in writing as agreed in contract.

Having been in childcare for over 30yrs i find the hardest part is dealing with parents


Big hugs, hope you feel better soon xx

Exactly this. It is the hardest thing. Your parents seem to be behaving quite badly and you should write to them stating they must give proper written notice and that the fees are owed for the notice period. Sorry you are having a tough time.

[RuthJ]

How horrible for you. Such a shame it's all happened so suddenly. I guess emotions are all over the place when you're adjusting to a new baby so maybe they are feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment and you being ill has been exaggerated in their minds. Still, that doesn't make it any easier for you and it is odd behaviour on their part.

I would write a letter to them, text is never good and if possible can you arrange to meet them to talk face to face?

Hope things settle down soon xx:group hug:

[hectors house]

How horrible for you. Such a shame it's all happened so suddenly. I guess emotions are all over the place when you're adjusting to a new baby so maybe they are feeling a bit overwhelmed at the moment and you being ill has been exaggerated in their minds. Still, that doesn't make it any easier for you and it is odd behaviour on their part.

I would write a letter to them, text is never good and if possible can you arrange to meet them to talk face to face?

Hope things settle down soon xx:group hug:

Surely if you were ill now when the mother is home on maternity leave the parents haven't been inconvenienced by you not working - it's not like she has had to stay home from work, as she is home anyway. Insist that they give notice in writing (on paper with a signature - a text doesn't count) as per terms of your contract.

Sorry you have had a nasty ear infection, hope you are feeling better now. x

[lorettacritchet]

I did try to ring them and speak to them on the day I got the text. Everything the partner threw at me as their reasons for cancelling was just rubbish and I knocked each of them down when I spoke to him.
Today I have gone to give them the invoice as they wanted a breakdown of what's been paid/owing etc. Anyways I got there, she wouldn't open the door and eventually her two younger kids (7 and 13 yr old) did! I couldn't believe they weren't at school! They were keeping the year old entertained!!!! Honestly some parents! Again their " we are going to find another childminder" is rubbish - obviously a way to keep their money!

[sarah707]

It's very hard when you are treated badly by someone you felt close to - and of course by parents of the child you lavished love and attention on until very recently.

YOu need to protect yourself now - give yourself a hug and lots of love. It is not good to feel this way and you will end up poorly.

Big hugs xx

[lynnfi]

Yes, I would let things go. They do not have to give you a valid reason to terminate , in fact they do not have to give you any reasons at all.
I think this is going a bit too far.
They want to go and they will. It is their choice. People do come up with false reasons, and it is often because they do not want to sound too hurtful to the person with the real reason. Do not take it personnally.

So best to do this professionally, keeping your distance and leaving them, however disappointed you may be. As Sarah says, treat yourself to sth nice. Something better will come along in due time!:)

[FussyElmo]

To your credit you are upset but now you need to draw a line u under it and move on.

They have made their decision - doesn't sound like mum is managing too well and probably isn't going to rational.

But nothing you can do will make this situation better. Have you got written notice yet if not write them a letter saying I accept you notice via text on the date. Whatever notice is needed etc.

[k1rstie]

But nothing you can do will make this situation better. Have you got written notice yet if not write them a letter saying I accept you notice via text on the date. Whatever notice is needed etc.



as poster says, its now never going to get better (no matter what the families reasons were). No matter how upsetting to be dumped like this, be professional, and update your childcare.co.uk profile, and you might be lucky and fill your space soon.

Good Luck and big hugs

[nipper]

Write the letter...closure (oh how I hate that word!)

[vdubnut]

I've had this also and it does batter your confidence , at first I was just mortified at what the parent was accusing me of , but the more I thought about it and after talking to others the more angry I got at the lies , so I sued her (and won) for the money she owed out of principle .
Looking back I think she was very reluctant to go back to work and was looking for excuses I was just a pawn I think to get her own way .

My books tell me I'm doing a damn good job and the odd awkward parent is not going to get to me anymore . Take a look at what you do well and move on its her loss as she'll now have to find an alternative .

[winstonian]

I've had this also and it does batter your confidence , at first I was just mortified at what the parent was accusing me of , but the more I thought about it and after talking to others the more angry I got at the lies , so I sued her (and won) for the money she owed out of principle .
Looking back I think she was very reluctant to go back to work and was looking for excuses I was just a pawn I think to get her own way .

My books tell me I'm doing a damn good job and the odd awkward parent is not going to get to me anymore . Take a look at what you do well and move on its her loss as she'll now have to find an alternative .

I think most childminders have had the odd awful parent. I've got one who I bent over backwards to help, had her children for free, didnt charge retainers, all sorts of extra help, she didnt want to go back to work and I had a very similar situation to above. After caring for her children for 2 years they now arent allowed to speak to me at school and she ignores me. :( She told me to destroy their learning journeys and clothes which she'd left her (although we had given her most of the clothes).
It is really hard and I've shed tears over it but I have realised that it is their issue. I am full, with a waiting list and happy children to show my worth. It does still get me down if I think about it but I have to try not to or she will have won.