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View Full Version : I am soooo cross, I could cry :(



Toothfairy
04-12-2012, 08:47 AM
I sent learning journals home at the weekend and asked for them to be bought back this week.
Mindee came today and Dad said "I'm very sorry but I have run over the folder and it was so badly damaged, I have thrown it in the bin!" Apparently he put the mindee's bag down which had the folder in, while he strapped mindee into his car seat, then forgot it and reversed over the bag.

This folder had nearly 2 years worth of ob's, end of term assessments, art work etc etc in it!
I've about half of it saved on my laptop but some of the stuff was hand written (before I started doing it on the laptop), I have photos of some of the art work but not all of it, as I like a mixture of photos and real art work.

But what really made me cross was his 'couldn't care less, it's only a silly folder' attitude.

I have put hours of work into that folder :angry:

mushpea
04-12-2012, 08:50 AM
silly man, obviously dosent realise all the hardwork thats gone in to it and of course it would have been a lovley account of the childs time with you, sadly there are parents that dont care about their childrens learning though . prehaps you should get this particular parent to sign to say they dont want a learning journey or record of their childs learning whilst with you.

sarah707
04-12-2012, 08:59 AM
Oh hunny I really feel for you I would be so cross if something like that happened to one of mine.

It is one of the reasons I don't send them home any more - a mum dropped a full cup of coffee over one of mine a few years ago :(

Live and learn - from now on they come in the house to read them.

Ask him to fish it out of the bin - the folder will have protected some of the contents.

Hugs xx

loocyloo
04-12-2012, 09:13 AM
i would be really sad too.

a few years ago, a child was leaving and the parents gave me back the A5 folder that i use for daily diaries saying 'we don't need it any more, thought you'd like it back' ... i discovered that they had thrown away 2 years worth of diary! they did read it each day, and write me notes, but i was sad for the child. ( pre EYFS, otherwise i dread to think! )

parents only get to see LJs when i am there! either at my house, or at theirs.

hectors house
04-12-2012, 09:41 AM
Absolutely heart breaking - pity his expensive ipod or sat nav wasn't also in the bag!

Toothfairy
04-12-2012, 09:59 AM
I did ask if there was anything that could have been saved but he just laughed and said "well if there was, it's had 3 days of rubbish ontop of it now" :angry:

I will replace as much as I can but I don't have copies of all of it.

You're right Sarah, from now on LJ's stay in the house! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

francinejayne
04-12-2012, 10:14 AM
aw how sad, and what a terrible attitude for the dad to have, I feel for you I really do.

being completely honest now, and I may get shot down for saying this, but if I knew I wasn't due an Ofsted inspection whilst the child were with me then I don't think I would be going back and backdating everything and printing it all off again (which in reality will probably take you a full weekend) as eventually the day that the child leaves you it doesn't seem like the parents will value and treasure all the work you will be doing anyway!

silvermist
04-12-2012, 10:23 AM
OMG! I am so sorry this has happened and I would be really upset too. I think its his attitude that would get to me though, like Sarah says, keep the LJs at yours now and invite parents to see them their.I would still want it out of the bin, I really hope you can save something from it.
I would also maybe document what happened somewhwere that way if Ofsted should ever query lack of contents you can explain what happened. And get Dad to sign it too. Sending hugs xxxx

rickysmiths
04-12-2012, 10:42 AM
There is no way I would go backwards for this parent. I certainly would not be redoing something he had so lightly thrown in the bin.

I would actually highly recommend using the Early Years Daily Diary instead for these parents. It isn't cheap but it allows for minimal obs and photos to be put in and out line planning. It also asks the parents to put in weekend stuff.

Early-Years-Daily-Diary (http://earlyyearsdailydiary.com/) it can be bought on amazon as well.

I would also write to the parents and say you are very disappointed that the folder has been thrown away as you would have been able to transfer all the information into a new one and it represented years of hard work in time and expense in printing of text and photos for you to do for them as a record of their child's development and their time with you recording what they had done and where they had been.

As it would seem they really do not want this you will be changing and very much simplifying the way you will be doing this in future.

I would then get the diary in the link and use that, explain that if they loose or damage it it will cost £20 to replace.

If they don't want it then do a letter for them to sign to that effect and do the min of recording for yourself so Ofsted can see.

JCrakers
04-12-2012, 11:03 AM
I would be so so cross :angry:

I would actually make an appointment to speak to him and actually tell him how much work you had put in,how much it meant to you and how upset you are. Make him feel really,really bad.

I would be livid at his attitude more than the running over of the folder. Can't believe his attitude, what a complete idiot

Toothfairy
04-12-2012, 11:06 AM
aw how sad, and what a terrible attitude for the dad to have, I feel for you I really do.

being completely honest now, and I may get shot down for saying this, but if I knew I wasn't due an Ofsted inspection whilst the child were with me then I don't think I would be going back and backdating everything and printing it all off again (which in reality will probably take you a full weekend) as eventually the day that the child leaves you it doesn't seem like the parents will value and treasure all the work you will be doing anyway!


I'm due my inspection in March, so I need to replace it :(

JCrakers
04-12-2012, 11:08 AM
On a similar note..I went on a course last week and was told that the LJ belongs to the child...so if they are covered in dirt, ripped a bit that's better than having a clean one as it shows you are letting the children look at it....I couldn't help feeling slightly nervous about giving my ljs to the kids....got a sweat on thinking about it...lol

I make them available at all times if they want to look through them but letting them take them into the playroom and play and mess them up...all my hard work..,:panic:

He could have just given it back, surely it wasn't all damaged, just the folder.
Get a letter written telling him exactly what you feel

Toothfairy
04-12-2012, 11:16 AM
There is no way I would go backwards for this parent. I certainly would not be redoing something he had so lightly thrown in the bin.

I would actually highly recommend using the Early Years Daily Diary instead for these parents. It isn't cheap but it allows for minimal obs and photos to be put in and out line planning. It also asks the parents to put in weekend stuff.

Early-Years-Daily-Diary (http://earlyyearsdailydiary.com/) it can be bought on amazon as well.

I would also write to the parents and say you are very disappointed that the folder has been thrown away as you would have been able to transfer all the information into a new one and it represented years of hard work in time and expense in printing of text and photos for you to do for them as a record of their child's development and their time with you recording what they had done and where they had been.

As it would seem they really do not want this you will be changing and very much simplifying the way lyou will be doing this in future.

I would then get the diary in the link and use that, explain that if they loose or damage it it will cost £20 to replace.

If they don't want it then do a letter for them to sign to that effect and do the min of recording for yourself so Ofsted can see.

I do a daily diary too, its sent home everyday, which was also in the bag. It's a bit squashed and some pages are torn and muddy but it can still be used.
It was his learning journal which was thrown away. I send it home at the end of each term for a weekend, so parents can look through it and add any comments about their child's progress (never any comments!).
Mum is collecting today so will have a word with her.
What makes me cross is both mindee's parents are teachers, they know how important the folder is and that Ofsted will want to look at it :angry:

k1rstie
04-12-2012, 11:23 AM
Oh hunny I really feel for you I would be so cross if something like that happened to one of mine.

It is one of the reasons I don't send them home any more - a mum dropped a full cup of coffee over one of mine a few years ago :(

Live and learn - from now on they come in the house to read them.

Ask him to fish it out of the bin - the folder will have protected some of the contents.

Hugs xx

I had a new parent starting and sent home parent pack/ permission slips etc to sign. It had taken hours to print.

She was reading it in the garden, then had to pop in. Then it rained!! She did dry it out, but only the black ink remained - all the beautiful headers and footers, pictures, information sheets had washed away!

It made me sad too!

I feel for you

eddie
04-12-2012, 11:31 AM
Disgusting attitude from the parents - feel so sorry for you, all that hard work and so little respect for it. :(

rickysmiths
04-12-2012, 11:35 AM
I had a new parent starting and sent home parent pack/ permission slips etc to sign. It had taken hours to print.

She was reading it in the garden, then had to pop in. Then it rained!! She did dry it out, but only the black ink remained - all the beautiful headers and footers, pictures, information sheets had washed away!

It made me sad too!

I feel for you

Now I always sit down with the parents to sign all the permission forms etc so I can explain everything to them at the same time. I make an appointment for them to come to me childless or I go to their home. I warn them the process of signing the contract etc will take an hour at least. I never trust parents with forms at home because in the pst I have ones who have taken them all and then are never to be seen again or I only get half back. It is such a faff I do it with them now.

lilac_dragon
04-12-2012, 12:33 PM
OMG! I am so sorry this has happened and I would be really upset too. I think its his attitude that would get to me though, like Sarah says, keep the LJs at yours now and invite parents to see them their.I would still want it out of the bin, I really hope you can save something from it.
I would also maybe document what happened somewhwere that way if Ofsted should ever query lack of contents you can explain what happened. And get Dad to sign it too. Sending hugs xxxx

I think Silvermist is right - if Ofsted decided to come next week they'd be expecting to see the LJ, but why should you pay out in ink,paper etc to re-do it!
Write something explaining what happened and get the Dad to sign it so that you're covered. What a shame for you.

hectors house
04-12-2012, 12:58 PM
One of my LJ is a mindees home at the moment - I sent it home with the 2 year development check, but I stressed to the mum that I have a copy of the development check saved on the computer and I have photos saved, but I don't have the observations as I write them all by hand, and that she should guard it with her life as I won't and couldn't re-writing it.

LauraS
04-12-2012, 02:08 PM
I'd be upset about the learning journal being ruined, but acccidents happen, right? But I'd be absolutely gutted about it flippantly being thrown away like that, particularly.given the fact that the parent know the importance of the thing and the love and effort that goes into them. I would find it hard not to interpret it as reflecting dads view of my role

linda2girls
04-12-2012, 02:27 PM
I don't understand why he threw it in the bin, surely something could have been saved. What an idiot.

I really feel for you, I would be gutted.

Linda.

angeldelight
04-12-2012, 03:12 PM
I would be gutted too

All that hard work poor you

Never send them home again I agree we live and learn

I'm not sure I would do it all again either

Angel xx

Candy apple
04-12-2012, 05:18 PM
Thats horrible specaily that he doesnt care, dont do it again just put a note in the file saying the date and it was accidently destroyed when sent home for review and get dad to sign it. why should you waste your time doing it all agin when it obvious doent mean much to them.

nipper
04-12-2012, 06:12 PM
I would also write to the parents and say you are very disappointed that the folder has been thrown away as you would have been able to transfer all the information into a new one and it represented years of hard work in time and expense in printing of text and photos for you to do for them as a record of their child's development and their time with you recording what they had done and where they had been.

As it would seem they really do not want this you will be changing and very much simplifying the way you will be doing this in future.

I would then get the diary in the link and use that, explain that if they loose or damage it it will cost £20 to replace.

If they don't want it then do a letter for them to sign to that effect and do the min of recording for yourself so Ofsted can see.

Hear, hear! I really feel for you though Toothfairy!

winstonian
04-12-2012, 06:26 PM
How can it have been that ruined if he ran over it? What a strange story. I wouldnt redo it. All that hard work, I really feel for you

SYLVIA
04-12-2012, 07:00 PM
I think I would ask for it back whatever state it's in, maybe you could rescue some of it. I don't think I would be redoing it though. I'd note it in my sef that after that experience I'd learned that folders don't go home and tell the inspector that when they come too.

Chimps Childminding
04-12-2012, 09:19 PM
The least he could have done was brought it to show you and GROVEL :angry: Surely some of the things inside could have been saved even if the actual folder was mangled!!

I print my obs out, but don't save them on my computer once the are printed I delete them so there is no way I could make another folder up for any parent of mine who was so careless and tbh if thats their attitude I don't think I would want to bother!!

I would start another one up ready for Ofsted and as someone else said get parents to sign something to say that you had been doing one previously but that it had been destroyed - BY THEM :angry:

Ripeberry
04-12-2012, 09:41 PM
That's so disrespectful to you and all the work you do. I'd make him dig it out of the rubbish :mad:

madmamma
05-12-2012, 05:33 AM
How disrespectful of your hard work!

Hope you had words with mum

mammumof4
05-12-2012, 11:21 AM
i could cry for you!! :(
how horrible for you. i wouldnt be replacing it! write up a report about what happenend and get
him to sign, then start a new one.
horrible man!!!!

samb
05-12-2012, 11:43 AM
Oh no! I would be furious too!

I, like most, would not back date the files as you haven't got the info and it wouldn't look as good. I would get a cheap file, write a letter to the parent confirming what happened and get him to sign it and put it in the front. Then write a summary report from what you know of the child and carry on from there. Imagine going back and trying to redo all that hard work for him to come in at the beginning of March just before your inspection and spill a cup of tea on it or something - accidents could still happen in your home.

I really feel for you - I think we all do. In fact, I am now thinking that maybe I shouldn't send mine home now?! I usually send them home at end of term.

Toothfairy
05-12-2012, 12:50 PM
Spoke to Mum at pick up.
I explained that I was upset at Dads attitude and about the amount of work that goes into the folder. Told her that I won't be re-printing it and I would like them to sign a letter to Ofsted to explain what has happened (luckily I have two other mindee's with complete LJ's to show Ofsted plus by the time Ofsted come again, LO should have about 4-5 months worth in his new folder).
Mum was extremely apologetic and said she will get in the bin and see if anything can be saved (I've got a feeling she didnt know hubby had run it over and thrown it away).

Dad turned up this morning with a bunch of flowers, apologised and handed me some of the pages they had managed to save out of the bin (about 1/3).

I've learnt my lesson and LJ's will no longer be going home!

nipper
05-12-2012, 12:55 PM
Oh hun, I really do feel for you...you won't forget this in a hurry will you?

JCrakers
05-12-2012, 01:35 PM
Hope you stuck the flowers up his backside :p

Wait until the little one has some new shoes or a nice new coat and then tell him she got a little mud on them and so you threw them out...See how he likes it

Seriously thou, I hope he got a good talking to by his wife :mad:

eddie
05-12-2012, 01:42 PM
I am glad you have managed to salvage something out of it. Sounds like Mom appreciates the hard work that has gone into it. A LJ is so precious really isn't it? I value the scruffy diaries I still have from when my DS was a baby, 14 long years ago because they are about him.

FussyElmo
05-12-2012, 01:43 PM
Spoke to Mum at pick up.
I explained that I was upset at Dads attitude and about the amount of work that goes into the folder. Told her that I won't be re-printing it and I would like them to sign a letter to Ofsted to explain what has happened (luckily I have two other mindee's with complete LJ's to show Ofsted plus by the time Ofsted come again, LO should have about 4-5 months worth in his new folder).
Mum was extremely apologetic and said she will get in the bin and see if anything can be saved (I've got a feeling she didnt know hubby had run it over and thrown it away).

Dad turned up this morning with a bunch of flowers, apologised and handed me some of the pages they had managed to save out of the bin (about 1/3).

I've learnt my lesson and LJ's will no longer be going home!

Sounds like the mum gave the dad a right talking too.

At least and I know its a small consolation that you did get an apology :)

flashers
05-12-2012, 01:48 PM
OMG I feel so sad for you, all your hard work. I would ask for them to get it out the bin regardless of its state.

You poor thing, sending u hugs


xxxxx

flashers
05-12-2012, 01:50 PM
Just seen the other posts, pleased u got some of the work back, bless u xxxx

SYLVIA
05-12-2012, 09:58 PM
was it really in a bad state when you got the bits back

blue bear
05-12-2012, 10:09 PM
Really feel for you, one of mine left the lj out in The rain for three days, I managed to salvage most of it. Can't believe dads attitude with him being a teacher.