Thinking of terminating contract based on this, thoughts?

[smurfette]

I provide after school care for a 9 year old, he is my only after schooler, rest of mindees are preschoolers, and I have my own girls aged 7,.9 and 11. I am finding him really hard work, he is term time only, but I ended up having him in the midterm for most of the day,and I found it really hard managing him with the little ones... my girls are really good with the little ones, and know the rules and know to help especially if they want me to take them out and about. He is just a boy, really full of energy, and messing around all the time, he was always winding the little ones up or playing rough in the house and endangering them. So, I am not going to have him again in the holidays, just too much hard work, I was blue in the face constantly telling him to stop it and behave. He isn't really naughty,just used to being around adults (his mum is a single mum and extended family are all close by, from what I can gather he is either left to his own devices, or allowed join in with the adults to the extent that he is streets ahead of my 9 year old). My main issue though is what he is exposed to, and then thinks it is ok to talk about in front of my own kids and the mindees. I am doing my best to let my girls have their childhood and innocence as long as possible, and am finding this really hard...he is allowed watch 15s movies and comes in and wants to tell me all about it, and playing videos on his phone like Jeff Dunham. I am constantly having to say to him that it isn't appropriate in front of the younger ones. At midterm he was constantly pushing to put 15s movies on the tv, and in the end I had to say to his mum that she was to talk to him about it not being appropriate at my house, and she was quite defensive although I said it was up to her what he watched at home. Today he came in and told me he had watched 'Taken' last night in bed, and seemed to think it was funny :eeeek: .I said did mum know he watched it,and he said 'oh yes, she said she may watch it with me in a day or two'. (I would never let my 11 year old watch a 15s without previewing it first!). He is not exactly cheeky, but constantly pushing his luck, asking and asking to do stuff, obviously gets away with it at home. He told me today, he was going to go home and play playstation, then something else, then something else,all solo activities,obviously not expecting any kind of interaction from his mum. Sad really, she told me recently she couldn't wait til he grew up, he was halfway there at 9,and the whole parenting thing was a nightmare and she would never do it again (all in his earshot!).


Anyways, I just think he upsets the group dynamic so am thinking of giving notice,but know I got her out of a hole in September so don't want to let her down. moneywise will be ok,as have lo's booked in in January and March. Thoughts??

[VeggieSausage]

Well its up to you but if you really think he is a bad influence on your children then the answer has to be to give notice....

[TNT]

Put your own children first. If you dont want them exposed to the things that he sees and says then give notice.
I dont let my sons cousins come and stay at our house for exactly the same reason, they are 7 and 13, the 7 year old is allowed to watch 18 dvd's and took great delight in informing me that she watched KickAss the other day.
To be honest maybe yours is not the best place for him, maybe an after school club or something may be better suited to him, with other children of his own age.

[k1rstie]

I also worry about children watching films of a much higher classification than their age, and computer games too.

I am 40, and I will not watch any films over a 15 cert!!! (due to their adult content, use of drugs, bad language etc)

[blue bear]

Over 8's must not affect the care of the younger children, his inappropriate talking of adult films is affecting the younger children as you are having to be careful of what they might hear.
I feel sorry for the boy as it seems he deliberately tells you about things you have told him are inappropriate to get the attention he is not getting at home. As he is allowed material for much older children he will probably be happier mixing with older children in a after school/sports club where he will have things in common to talk about with them.

[smurfette]

Thanks for the back up guys..: what reason will i give for termination?

[vdubnut]

your definately doing the right thing by terminating , ive had several afterschoolers that cause 'riots' and its no fun . the first one i terminated for that reason but i told mum that it didnt make good business sense to continue care due to me not making any money out of it (which in truth i didnt )as it meant getting the car out and the stress of picking up from another school . i gave her notice that i intended to terminate the contract at the end of the school year , it was march when i told her which gave her more than enough notice and she understood
could you not 'make up ' a more diplomatic reason not sure what as i dont know how your business runs but it would soften the blow to mum . if not be honnest and just admit you cant cope , ive done that before myself and the mother was devestated , 2 girls aged 2 and 4 . but she asked me to give her 1 month to sort out her childrens constant crying and screaming and she did it . i was gobsmacked to say the least , i still have the children 18 months later and youd not recognise them as the the same kids :D

[appleblossom]

Thanks for the back up guys..: what reason will i give for termination?

If it was me I would just say I am unfortunately, due to personal family circumstances, having to give notice to terminate our child minding contract for X (which is perfectly true).

[rickysmiths]

I would just say as others have 'due to cahnges and family circumstances'.

Just a point not sure if you follow EYFS in Ireland but I think it would be good for you. I would never let a 9yr old have a phone in my house. First of all why does he need it? Second it is isolating in that you are providing plenty of things for him to do he does not need a phone. Third it is a safeguarding issue. He could take photos of the other children in your care and do goodness knows what with them, as you have said he his playing inappropriate games both for him and certainly for the other children in your care and your own children.

I have said in my Policies that all phones that minded children bring into my setting will be put in a box and stored until they go home. Also that adults are asked not to use their phones and if they need to they are to go outside.

For assistants I have said I will provide a phone for them to use when out and about and their own phone will be turned off while working and stored in the phone box.

[eddie]

I think Rickysmiths makes a good point about the phone. I would be concerned about the safeguarding issue especially if he is watching age inappropriate things at home. Why do some parents seem to not care about what their child is exposed to :panic:. Hope you reach a decision that works for you. I always think if it affects the other children its time to say goodbye.

[nipper]

Couldn't you just say that you don't feel able to meet his needs anymore, because of the numbers of younger children you are caring for?

[Ripeberry]

Same as everyone above. Too many parents just let their kids do what they want. A child at my girl's school is only 10yrs old but he has been watching violent 18+ films since the age of 7yrs old and he CONSTANTLY talks about killing, murdering and tying people up at school and I'm sure the teachers are keeping an eye on him. But he scares me as he never looks an adult in the eye and I just can't understand why both his parents who are highly educated let him watch this kind of thing. He got in trouble with the police at 6yrs old for ringing 999 and calling out the fire brigade. He got a telling off from the police.
When the teenage hormones start I shudder to think what he'll get up to :panic:

[smurfette]

I would just say as others have 'due to cahnges and family circumstances'.

Just a point not sure if you follow EYFS in Ireland but I think it would be good for you. I would never let a 9yr old have a phone in my house. First of all why does he need it? Second it is isolating in that you are providing plenty of things for him to do he does not need a phone. Third it is a safeguarding issue. He could take photos of the other children in your care and do goodness knows what with them, as you have said he his playing inappropriate games both for him and certainly for the other children in your care and your own children.

I have said in my Policies that all phones that minded children bring into my setting will be put in a box and stored until they go home. Also that adults are asked not to use their phones and if they need to they are to go outside.

For assistants I have said I will provide a phone for them to use when out and about and their own phone will be turned off while working and stored in the phone box.

Hia .. No we don't follow eyfs here, we are largely unregulated! With the phone he usually comes In with his earphones in listening to his music on the way home, and I make him turn it off or he would have it on while he did his homework. It was just one time when we were in the car (just me and him) that he was watching that programme, otherwise just the music on the way in. Now and again he and my girls will send each other songs (I am there) so it is mostly not on or supervised
. To be honest the whole schoolie thing is new to me and I sometimes struggle as I allow my girls to do things (eg we have a log cabin in the garden which the girls play in, a lot of their toys are there, but I won't allow him to go, and if they have friends over they want their phones out to listen to music, this is one reason I find it hard.

[mushpea]

I would be honest with the parent face to face and tell her that the things he talks about and the language he uses is inappropriate for the children you care for and although you have asked her to speak to him and although you have spoken to him on several occasions he still continus to use inappropriate language and speak about things that are far too advanced for the other children in your care. In the later I would just state that regretably due to circumstances you will be giving x amount of weeks notice and state when it will end then get mum to sign to say she has recived a copy.
I dont think you should lie about the reasons as she needs to understand why you cant have him anymore

[Chimps Childminding]

Could you not tell mum you are going to have just pre-schoolers as he is the only schoolie you have?? Either that or that as he is the only older child you have you think he would be better somewhere like a school club where he has other lads his age to do things with!!

I have 1 x 5 year old boy and the rest of my schoolies are girls - I admit I find him hard work :( Not in the way yours is but just that he doesn't have anyone to kick a football about with or anything, and doesnt like arts and crafts like the girls do, and my littlies are only 2 - 3 and the eldest is a girl. Personally I would love to not have schoolies, but they have all been with me since they were babies and our school doesn't have an after school club :(