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View Full Version : whats a polite way to say.....



mushpea
19-11-2012, 09:06 AM
mind your own buisness to an 8yrold,, hes a mindee and everywhere I turn he's there, he has to know everything thats going on, askes questions about everything I own and when ever i am trying to have a converastion with anyone including private chats with children when I hae asked him to give us some space , he is that nosey that he walks in to things because he has to see and know whats happening which drives me mad, the amount of times I tell him to look where he is going on the way home from school is ridiculous. I have tried asking him to go and play, tried saying I need to talk to X alone, tried telling him the converation dosent invovle him I have even said 'dont be so nosey' and ' its nothing to do with you' which are probably wrong but I am getting fed up with it and so are the other children.
arrrgh help how can I stop him or teach him to understand not everthing is about him or needs to involve him?

dette
19-11-2012, 09:32 AM
is he an only child of a single parent ? i have had this before (and going through it currenly )with a LO.When you think about it ,at home every conversation will involve them ...totally sympathise ,my current nosey parker is doing my nut in !!!!!
I just politly say "i wasnt talking to you sweety " or "this is a private conversation sorry ,we can chat in a minute" or if i've run out of patience then "your nose will grow really long if you keep poking it in when other people are talking " or your ears will drop off if you listen in :laughing:

mushpea
19-11-2012, 09:38 AM
no hes got a sister whos just a nosey but she will listen when I tell her to leave us alone, it really bugs me because even when I ask him not to listen he still hangs around and I know if I shut the door he will stand the other side and listen,, I find myself trying to hide in the kitchen with whoever I am trying to talk to and then looking out for him so my full attention is not on the poor child that I am meant to be talking to/helping.

silvermist
19-11-2012, 10:03 AM
My favourite catchphrase to anyone being nosey is saying "Ooh,Trunky want a bun?".

Always makes me smile to myself, I know its silly but makes me feel better :laughing::laughing:

VeggieSausage
19-11-2012, 10:58 AM
'Nothing to do with you, off you go and find something to do....' with a smile in a sweet voice....:laughing:

singingcactus
19-11-2012, 12:22 PM
I am with veggie sausage, although i may be a little more blunt. I just tell my one, i am talking to x and it is not any of your business, go get busy somewhere else. If he is following and watching, which to be fair he rarely does, I just freeze and look at him in silence until he understands and moves on. Go, get busy, is a phrase they should recognise from school which helps push the point home.

mushpea
19-11-2012, 12:31 PM
thanks folks, I wasnt sure if it was wrong to say mind your own buisness but I am so fed up with it and find it quite rude at times, its not absent mindly done either its a delibrate act and if I stand their looking at him he just dosent get it and just grins at me so I have to say somthing to him, hes been that far up my backside at times i have trodden on him on more than one occasion and he keeps walking in to things becasue he is to busy looking at everyone else instead of where hes going!

Pipsqueak
19-11-2012, 01:16 PM
I care for a VERY nosey 5 year old. She has injured herself countless times because she doesn't watch where she is going
she HAS to be there when someone else is being talked to
she has to be acting it when other adults appear
you call one of the other children and there she is - waiting and watching expectantly
she has to know the whyfors, wherefors, hows, whens of EVERYthing ALL the time... its exhausting

I give her the stern look and tell her not to be so nosey/nothing to do with her.

lisa1968
19-11-2012, 02:16 PM
I think it's down to 2 things;
1-many children these days are included in everything at home,so much so that they think they can do it elsewhere
2-lack of respect.I notice it more and more now.My own children would NEVER poke their noses into other peoples conversations,but children these days think nothing of asking what you're talking about!
I care for a family of 3,and although they are lovely children,they are very nosey. If I'm trying to have a quiet chat to another child,or even a parent,they will hover,or find an excuse to come near me whilst I'm speaking.On the school run,myself and another CM friend walk together,and these 2 children will hang back to listen in on conversations. The little girl thinks nothing of walking into my house and looking through a pile of post or paperwork i may have left out,and the boy must know every bit of paper on my fridge off by heart!!
I just tell them to buzz off and stop earwigging!!

nipper
19-11-2012, 02:28 PM
When I was a primary school teacher in a previous life, I could often be heard saying to some snotty nosed little 'know it all...
"Listen so and so, feel free to carry on trying to teach the class, but believe me, I get paid a lot more to do it than you..." at which point they would wish the ground would open up and swallow them. In the same way that a child wants to join in an adult conversation, then they should also be prepared to be spoken to in a sarcastic manner. Yes I know not all children appreciate sarcasm, but sometimes that's just what is needed. If they think they are 'big enough' they might just get it! Totally agree with lisa1968 too.

k1rstie
19-11-2012, 02:29 PM
'why?', 'why?', 'why?', 'why?'

Drives me mental too.

I remember once opening my daughters school report (for a quick sneaky peak), and I had a 9 year old, who was so nosey, she near enough had me pinned to the kitchen cabinets so she could see the report. She is 12 months older than brother, and I suspect knew everything that went on in his life too!

Ripeberry
19-11-2012, 02:42 PM
'It's for me to know and for you to ponder' Was my Dad's favourite saying ;)

lynnfi
19-11-2012, 03:01 PM
When I was a primary school teacher in a previous life, I could often be heard saying to some snotty nosed little 'know it all...
"Listen so and so, feel free to carry on trying to teach the class, but believe me, I get paid a lot more to do it than you..." at which point they would wish the ground would open up and swallow them. In the same way that a child wants to join in an adult conversation, then they should also be prepared to be spoken to in a sarcastic manner. Yes I know not all children appreciate sarcasm, but sometimes that's just what is needed. If they think they are 'big enough' they might just get it! Totally agree with lisa1968 too.

Not nice.

Children are children. Not adults. They should not be given sarcasm in such a way. We are their guide and have to teach them how to behave in life in a proper and gentle way.

I cannot believe how disdainful your post is.

Ambersmum
19-11-2012, 03:53 PM
I agree with Lynnfi, what happened to being professional Nipper?

nipper
19-11-2012, 03:55 PM
And so their parents should teach them to keep their noses out of situations that don't concern them...Well it worked for me and sometimes children who keep on doing something that interfers with the course of a lesson at the expense of other childrens' learning need to be put in their place so I don't see the problem. Most of the time it's tongue in cheek sarcasm so not really that different from the suggestions that other posters might have made either.

Ambersmum
19-11-2012, 04:08 PM
You are not at school now you are looking after young children in your home. Any kind of sarcasm isn't nice especially not aimed at children its harsh and could hurt their feelings. And what does it teach them? Probably to do the same to others:(

nipper
19-11-2012, 04:18 PM
Oh no, I wouldn't talk to my own mindees like that, not at all, and I really don't have call to either. I was merely saying when I was a teacher the sort of children who would constantly interrupt lessons were the ones who were used to so clearly getting their own way at home, sometimes only children but not always. Yes I realise that some people on here might disagree with my methods, but it usually worked for me (lest I add on the odd occasion) that I did use it. What you probably don't realise is that there is nothing more irritating than having to stop and start lessons because of another child's agenda. Oh and before anyone else decides to put the boot in it was a private school, but that shouldn't really make any difference

Sorry if I offended anyone. That's the problem with forums like this, people tend to hang on your every word, unlike a spoken conversation.

lynnfi
19-11-2012, 05:42 PM
Oh no, I wouldn't talk to my own mindees like that, not at all, and I really don't have call to either. I was merely saying when I was a teacher the sort of children who would constantly interrupt lessons were the ones who were used to so clearly getting their own way at home, sometimes only children but not always. Yes I realise that some people on here might disagree with my methods, but it usually worked for me (lest I add on the odd occasion) that I did use it. What you probably don't realise is that there is nothing more irritating than having to stop and start lessons because of another child's agenda. Oh and before anyone else decides to put the boot in it was a private school, but that shouldn't really make any difference

Sorry if I offended anyone. That's the problem with forums like this, people tend to hang on your every word, unlike a spoken conversation.

Hi Nipper,

Not a question of liking i'm afraid, but of trying to have a bit of perspective on what we do as adults for our children (in schools and at home).

Private school or not, children are children aren't they? What does it matter if it is private or public??

There are several ways of putting a child back in his/her place for disrupting a lesson (considering it is not a question about the lesson, as one should not confuse curiosity (healthy) with being nosey), and not only the result (that is the child showing more consideration, or...what is indeed the aim... having the child close their mouth by humiliating them) should be considered by a good thoughtful teacher, but the method as well.

The methods count more than the result, as this is what is going to educate the child, I am sure you agree.

That is, I have no doubt certain methods such as sarcasm/humiliation and the like will give results more quickly than having to ponder over the problem and find a more professional/human response.

I think we have to regard the whole picture. What do we teach our children by treating them in such a way. Don't you think it lacks something essential?

We all have our moments, I agree. But there is a fine line between thinking it is fine to treat children like this and slipping from time to time because we're only human and patience can tire out on some days. But even there, I wouldn't use sarcasm.

Sorry, a bit fed up with the level sometimes.

nipper
19-11-2012, 06:15 PM
And your job before becoming a childminder was what?

You know what I was only trying to support mushpea with her situation by drawing comparison with my own when I was a teacher.Albeit in my own lighthearted way.

I am utterly fed up of people on here just misconstruing the whole situation, who just shoot down anyone who happens to have an opinion. This is supposed to be a supportive forum where people should be allowed to air their opinions and I think that sometimes each post should be considered on its own merits. The general 'gist' of the thread was...and please feel free to correct me if I have got this wrong...children who feel they have to be part of things that do not concern them in the slightest and how best to tell them they simply cannot do this. I can see now that my choice of comparison was simply not conducive to your sensitive nature. I was merely trying to provide insight into my own experiences. Far be it for me to judge someone else from another profession as to how they conduct themselves. I don't know where people get this idea that teachers should behave in a certain way for the best interests of the children. It is a ****** hard enough profession as it is trying to educate other people's children and I believe that until you have experienced it first hand, then you don't really have a clue as to the everyday stresses that teachers face.

Not that it matters in the slightest but the child in question lasted until the end of year 7 before they were asked to leave the school.

Come walk a mile in my shoes before you jump on your high horse.

lynnfi
19-11-2012, 06:37 PM
And your job before becoming a childminder was what?

Teacher. You could have guessed.

You know what I was only trying to support mushpea with her situation by drawing comparison with my own when I was a teacher.Albeit in my own lighthearted way.

Yes, and that is the problem. Your post was hateful and your advising others to do the same does raise concerns, to me anyway.

I am utterly fed up of people on here just misconstruing the whole situation, who just shoot down anyone who happens to have an opinion. This is supposed to be a supportive forum where people should be allowed to air their opinions and I think that sometimes each post should be considered on its own merits.

Exactly. And I feel free enough on this forum to voice my concerns, my opinion if you wish, to give a different side when I think it is needed.


The general 'gist' of the thread was...and please feel free to correct me if I have got this wrong...children who feel they have to be part of things that do not concern them in the slightest and how best to tell them they simply cannot do this. I can see now that my choice of comparison was simply not conducive to your sensitive nature.

Your post was disdainful towards children, that was the general atmosphere. Would you like a list of disdainful comments you have made?

I was merely trying to provide insight into my own experiences.

Yes, and no one is saying you shouldn't. But I cannot agree with what you have writen, so just thought I would express this.

Far be it for me to judge someone else from another profession as to how they conduct themselves. I don't know where people get this idea that teachers should behave in a certain way for the best interests of the children. It is a ****** hard enough profession as it is trying to educate other people's children and I believe that until you have experienced it first hand, then you don't really have a clue as to the everyday stresses that teachers face.

Not that it matters in the slightest but the child in question lasted until the end of year 7 before they were asked to leave the school.

Come walk a mile in my shoes before you jump on your high horse.

I have, mind you. And still think there are other ways, constructive, to help in a difficult situation.

Now, I did not intend to point my finger at you. Just bringing some perspertive on what you have said because I think and feel that another view has to be considered as well. You did not hurt my feelings. Sorry if I hurt yours. It is not nice to have one's feelings hurt.