View Full Version : Toilet training

14-11-2012, 06:51 PM
I have a 3 year old girl in my care and I am trying everything to get her to pooh on the toilet with no success. Mom has said to ignor the situation and not to make a fuss because she believes she does it for attention. I am trying a reward chart and said that I will buy her a doll that cries (that's what she asked for), but today after only one day of using the chart she poohed her knickers and said that she did not want the doll ! The thing is because I have other children in my care I feel that I am spending so much time trying to train the 3 year old to go to the toilet it's taking away the fun of our daily activities and I don't want to go out anywhere because she may have a number two in her knickers and theres alot of cleaning up when she does. I am thinking of saying we will go back to nappies for a bit. Mom has mentioned that she is thinking taking advantage of the 15 hours free childcare at a local nursery as I am not accredited yet and hopefully they will sort her out. I feel that there is alot o pressure on me to persuade the 3 year old to use the toilet. I don't think there is any health problems e.g constipation. She seems to be so happy and pleased to have poohed her knickers each time, so I do believe mom is right and she wants attention of any kind after she has poohed her knickers.

14-11-2012, 09:03 PM
Can't really say if she's doing it for attention as I don't know the whole story etc. :D

But from experience, for some children, pooing - especially into the toilet is very scary. It can be worse if the child has been constipated at some point because they think its going to hurt. Its very different to having a wee and can be quite a big deal to some kids.
Some children have a problem if comments have been said like 'oh that's disgusting' 'that stinks' and any other negative comments are made about the poo. It makes them feel bad about actually producing one. Doing them in the safety of their pants feel better.

Only a year ago my 10yr old dd held her poo in for 7 days because she said it hurt when she went. This lead to poor health and headaches and it wasn't until a lot of visits to the doctors about her headaches and even a brainscan that we found out.
She was being tested to rule out diabetes and I had to log how many times she wee'd in a day. By doing this I noticed that she hadn't poo'd for a whole week. This was causing the headaches because basically the waste wasn't getting flushed out causing her to become lethargic, pale and ill. I didn't know because I don't really ask her what she's doing when she goes to the toilet at the age she was :blush:

I had a 3yr old mindee exactly the same as you describe. She would wait and do her poo in her bedtime nappy because she felt safer. It took a while for her to realise it wasn't so bad doing it in the toilet. A lot of reassurance, stickers and praise.

I would stick with trying to get her to do it on the toilet, she will get there at some point :thumbsup: Sounds like your'e doing a good job by telling her you will buy her a present, that's kind of you.
And don't make a big deal when she does it in her pants, just take her to the toilet and maybe put the poo in the loo (if you can) and clean and wash etc.