View Full Version : Very stubborn 18mnt old

mr man
10-11-2012, 09:09 AM
Mindee is so so stubborn, quite young and understands a lot, lots new words now too.
But when it comes to doing anything she doesn't want to, there no chance.
I can deal wit it at home becaseu I ignore the noise she makes till she forgets or is distracted to something else.

But at a play group we go to, it's a structured one, and is throughout - singing and signing.
She has now decided she'll stand in the middle jumping ( one of the songs) all the time, which she can't because o one can see the tutor then.
Tutor says they can jump and walk about but behind the circle , for those who do not yet follow routine.
She been fine with this these last 3 months but now she's deciding To push boundrays i think ,
If I move her to jump at the side, - screams - if I sit her on my knee - screams ..... And I know she will continue this or the whole hour.
Spoke to mum about it , and she says she like he dad, so stubborn and will not ever give in.

This now is going o ruin this session as the other 2 children love it.
How would you deal with this?

10-11-2012, 10:11 AM
Is there an alternative play group to go to? Or another day when this child isn't with you? This style of group sounds like it does not suit this child. I know the others enjoy it but if it is upsetting this child so much I would not take her again for a good few months. I would find an alternative that they can all enjoy- it is no good for the ones who do enjoy it if you are stressing and having to deal with this child anyway, maybe finding an alternative group where all can be happy would be less stress for all?
At such a young age I do not think there is much you can (or should) do to change her behaviour, she is just doing her independent thing, jumping and enjoying herself and that is great, just that is not the place to do it, so take her somewhere where she can do that. Sitting in a circle and conforming to a group activity is an unreasonable expectation for some children at that age.
Alternatively, talk to the person running the group about maybe making some changes to the set up so the more expressive children can be less restricted?
I hope you find somewhere you can all enjoy going to :)

10-11-2012, 11:57 AM
I agree with Moggy.
There are battles worth fighting with toddlers over (things that involve their safety or that of others), but others where you need to be more imaginative to resolve. If as you say your little one understands most things then make sure you always give a reason when you ask her to do something...So a request to move to the side would be .....That's fantastic dancing but lets stand here so you don't jump on X and Y or so others can see the instructor. It would be a shame to consider not going, as she obviously loves it as she is so enthusiastic. Toddlers love to please, so lots of praise and encouragement in the right direction works much more effectively than outright demands for compliance.

10-11-2012, 12:42 PM
What about giving her a special dance mat that she knows is just for her to jump & dance on? You could them set it down in a spot where she can dance about & encourage her to use it.

I have a few brightly coloured round bath mats from Ikea. As we're limited for space indoors I used the mats at song time. The children have a mat each and they sit or dance on their mat. It saves a lot of jumping around, bumping into each other. I also use the mats to give children individual space. If they want to play with something without being interrupted by others they can have a mat to play on. Perhaps you could introduce something like that when you're indoors & encourage mindee to dance on her mat. They're not very big mats so would be easy to take along to a group. If mindee gets used to the idea of jumping about on her mat, she might be happy to do it at the group :thumbsup: