But you don't NEED to do all that work... You CHOOSE to do it!!!

[EmmaReed84]

...This is DH's argument when at the end of a busy week I say "Oh I feel shattered, had a busy week!"

My argument is that actually it is my job to do various things with the children etc, his comeback is "No you are paid to look after children, not be their teacher!"

Then I reply with the EYFS and all that, and he just says that I don't need to do as much as I do and that I can get away with the "bare minimum" and it is me who chooses to do the extra, so therefore cannot complain :angry:

This week MIL and I have gone a little OTT with the Halloween crafts, but the kids loved it and kept asking to do more... so we did! When I showed DH some of the stuff he said "See what I mean, you didn't need to do all that, just do one thing, observe or whatever you do, then put the TV on!" :angry:

He is not being aggressive or nasty in his comments if that makes sense, just plain stupid and ignorant to that fact that I run my own business and I want it to be a flaming good business, not just a bare minimum business!

Does anyone else get this from their OH, how do you reply back?

[Pixie dust]

I am very lucky as I have a very supportive DH. He works offshore 4 weeks on 4 weeks off. When he is home he cooks the family evening meal while I am working, he is forever telling my 2 teenage sons to help out more "as your mum has been busy working all day" When he comes home this trip he is going to decorate the under the stairs space so the children can have a den.

The only thing that stresses him out a little is messy play indoors. :D

[blue bear]

Lots of people have that sort of opinion to be honest, from teachers, to parents, relative and family. And I suppose ofsted too as they hand put the grade outstanding, we don't need to put all the extra effort in do we, we could just get satisfactory but we put in the Ezra effort because we want the children to have the best we can give them.

Yeah sure you could just put tv on and do the bare basics but that isnt your way, you wouldn't want that for your own child and it follows you don't want it for the children you care for either.

believe me I have known childminders who have shared your husband point of view of why should we bother!

[Tatjana]

Well my hubby has been rather rude in the past with his comments on what I did whilst childminding, he didn't understand why I couldn't run a million errands, go here/there, do whatever...."you've got all day" etc etc :angry:

When I pointed out I was working, he just didn't get it.:eek:

Then he spent some weeks off work at home.....he said "I had no idea how much you do, you do far too much".:censored:

Honestly, he drives me crazy. :panic::panic::panic:

[toddlers896]

I always get this from my hubby too. He thinks i do way too much when its not necessarry. Mine is mostly paperwork though
and ime always on the computer.
They dont understand! especially when we come on the forum.:laughing:

[Sarahbelle]

I am very lucky as I have a very supportive DH. He works offshore 4 weeks on 4 weeks off. When he is home he cooks the family evening meal while I am working, he is forever telling my 2 teenage sons to help out more "as your mum has been busy working all day" When he comes home this trip he is going to decorate the under the stairs space so the children can have a den.

The only thing that stresses him out a little is messy play indoors. :D

That's fab Pixie Dust. Mine is pretty supportive too! He has been out of work recently and been at home whilst I am working and realises just how much I do during the working day. Yay for supportive DHs:)

[Daisy De]

My ex was a bit like that, thinking I sat at home all day drinking coffee (does anyone ever get the time to drink coffee/tea hot in this job?:laughing: )

My solution, I don't have a DH anymore, no more complaints :D

[mum22]

I am very lucky as I have a very supportive DH. He works offshore 4 weeks on 4 weeks off. When he is home he cooks the family evening meal while I am working, he is forever telling my 2 teenage sons to help out more "as your mum has been busy working all day" When he comes home this trip he is going to decorate the under the stairs space so the children can have a den.

The only thing that stresses him out a little is messy play indoors. :D

Now I like the sound of him, perhaps you could sent him round to sort the other hubbies of the forum out?? X. Mine is quite supportive but only cooks of a Saturday night x

[Kiddleywinks]

My ex was a bit like that, thinking I sat at home all day drinking coffee (does anyone ever get the time to drink coffee/tea hot in this job?:laughing: )


:eek: You can get HOT tea and coffee?!! Well, I never knew that! :laughing::D:laughing:

[Rubybubbles]

I got very stressed this week as had my DO out as getting ready for accreditation hubby is like why put yourself under the stress

He is actually very supportive but worries I put too much on myself.

[lozzy23]

I got very stressed this week as had my DO out as getting ready for accreditation hubby is like why put yourself under the stress

He is actually very supportive but worries I put too much on myself.

My hubby is the same, he thinks I worry far too much.

He is very supportive, he cooks for the family every night when he gets in from work or puts food in the slow cooker before. I cook for the LO's and schoolies (up to 6 of them).

He works from home once a week and sees how hard it is to juggle the needs of 4 LO's.

I often find a cup of tea that has been brewing for hours - cold and tar like in my kitchen.

[lynnfi]

Emma, I think he misses the point here. Okay you choose to do that much, because you like doing great and not mediocre, and yes it is a choice, and you are not going to change that because you are great

But the point IS that you are sometimes shattered, and need him to :
1) Recognise what a great job you Choose to do
2) How great you are
3) how tired you are

It is not a question of complaining it is a question of stating the truth and being massaged (our ego and back) a bit by our loving UNDERSTANDING one :)

[TooEarlyForGin?]

Well my hubby has been rather rude in the past with his comments on what I did whilst childminding, he didn't understand why I couldn't run a million errands, go here/there, do whatever...."you've got all day" etc etc :angry:

When I pointed out I was working, he just didn't get it.:eek:

Then he spent some weeks off work at home.....he said "I had no idea how much you do, you do far too much".:censored:

Honestly, he drives me crazy. :panic::panic::panic:

Ditto. Makes me nuts.

I don't know any other woman locally that runs their own business, working with the children for 52 hours a week, not including paperwork. That its not just a job, I don't finish at a set time and come home ( which I have to regularly remind him). Look after the house, kids, dog, ducks, chickens and him, 90% of the housework (i am being generous here) then complains about the mess in the house and how tired I always am, forgetting I partially started this as he works such long hours, and he really wanted me to be a stay at home mum, but then we needed extra money, and there was no local childcare.

Unfortunately no help, but this has been an ongoing issue for 10 years.

I have always felt if I get a job outside the house he would respect it more, but I am now very proud of my business so he has to deal with it.

[dette]

My DH is lovely and says i do a great job etc etc but .... he doesnt do his share round the house,Little things like him FORGETTING to wash our own kids supper bowls so that i have them to do in the morning.I asked him last night if he wouldnt mind taking the washing up to work with him and do it in the office sink..he looked at me like i was mad..!!! well you're expecting me to do it while im working so today its your turn.!!.He often says can you ring such and such or pick up blah blah ..i say no can you ..but im at work ..says he " AND I'M NOT!!!!"says me

[mum24]

[QUOTE=lozzy23;1175631]My hubby is the same, he thinks I worry far too much.

He is very supportive, he cooks for the family every night when he gets in from work or puts food in the slow cooker before. I cook for the LO's and schoolies (up to 6 of them).

He works from home once a week and sees how hard it is to juggle the needs of 4 LO's.

/QUOTE]

WOW, can I borrow your hubby, just for a week? Pretty please:laughing::laughing:

[hectors house]

I love monday evenings as my OH goes to skittles and I can get on with my planning, writing up observations etc without him "tutting" at me for doing too much.

OK at the moment I am playing catch up on everyones observations as I don't want the parents to have a gap in their children's folder - I know Ofsted won't want to look at anything pre-Sept - so I am probably doing more than I should do - but my fault for having a daughter get married, having a shoulder operation and suffering other health problems which meant I got behind in the first place!

[EmmaReed84]

I had a chat with DH as I was at MIL on Friday and have been there today, will be there on Wednesday and out Thursday to the fire station and back to MIL on Friday... DH said "Blooming heck*are you planning on getting any work done this week?" My reply, "Yes loads, the sort of work I am paid to do, so if you fancy dipping your hand in your wallet to pay me to do the house work as well, then I'll do that too!"

I quoted a few of the things you ladies had said and he started backtracking :rolleyes: "Oh yeah, I know you work hard, I was just saying you could make it easier on yourself you know!"

My Mum is coming down this evening for a visit, she is going back on Thursday after our fire station trip, hopefully after being my unpaid assistant, she will also tell DH off LOL.


*ever so slightly stronger language LOL

[lozzy23]

[/QUOTE]

WOW, can I borrow your hubby, just for a week? Pretty please:laughing::laughing:[/QUOTE]

:laughing::laughing: