A one year old with severe separation anxieties

[nikkiv]

Any advice for the above a little girl, just turned one has been with me for nearly 6 months, settled and now extremely anxious unless she is being held and cuddled. Worked really hard with no I am doing this and then I will be back which seemed to start working. Mum is not in the dark and knows all and she is like it at home with her also! Any advice gratefully received as we had 10 hours of screaming on and off all day yesterday and 5 today until she got herself in such a state I had to call mum to come and get her :(

I feel I need to help mum as at the moment I have her 3 days a week, until 22nd November then she will be at nursery 2 days and me the one day until Feb!

[nikkiv]

Can anyone help pleeeeeaaaaaaasssssssee I do have this child tomorrow I have a few new ideas from googling but really could do with some cm opinions

[VeggieSausage]

I have a new little one at the mo who is having anxieties too, last week I went out with him in the buggy for a long walk and then returned home,when we got back in he was much more settled. Just thinking that taking them out for a walk may allow them some time to calm down and give them a couple of hours without crying and screaming and getting upset, then if it works you could build on it.....

May not be much help, I am sure its a phase that will pass but poor you it is such hard work. Hope not too bad tomorrow....

[Mrs Scrubbit]

hi have you tried asking for some fave toys from home being taken to yours and perhaps something of mums too that will have mums 'scent' on, sorry not much help as its late will sleep on it and get back to you if anything comes to mind x

[merry]

I've cared for several children who've suffered separation anxiety, and my own son had it bad too. I'm sure from googling you've found the tips and tricks you can try, bringing something from home etc, which are all worth a try. From my experience the only things that worked for me were doing the best I could to minimise separation, staying close, having child sitting on my knee, holding them and giving cuddles as much as possible, talking quietly and calmly, holding child close to me and breathing deeply and slowly (sometimes the chidlren would copy and start to calm down themselves) and when I had to be doing something out of sight keeping up a calm running commentary - even if it seemed like they were screaming the place down and couldn't hear me! Does Mum sing to her - any songs you could copy? Going out for walks helped a lot too, for me as much as the child because it really does wear on your nerves after a while! Is it vital that she goes to nursery so soon? If so then it can't be helped but she will find it extremely hard to adjust to another new place and people when she's at the height of separation anxiety.

:)

[nikkiv]

I have a new little one at the mo who is having anxieties too, last week I went out with him in the buggy for a long walk and then returned home,when we got back in he was much more settled. Just thinking that taking them out for a walk may allow them some time to calm down and give them a couple of hours without crying and screaming and getting upset, then if it works you could build on it.....

May not be much help, I am sure its a phase that will pass but poor you it is such hard work. Hope not too bad tomorrow....

Anything is helpful but have done that :( I do it everyday and a drive also to break the day up some days she is even worse when we get back :(

[nikkiv]

I've cared for several children who've suffered separation anxiety, and my own son had it bad too. I'm sure from googling you've found the tips and tricks you can try, bringing something from home etc, which are all worth a try. From my experience the only things that worked for me were doing the best I could to minimise separation, staying close, having child sitting on my knee, holding them and giving cuddles as much as possible, talking quietly and calmly, holding child close to me and breathing deeply and slowly (sometimes the chidlren would copy and start to calm down themselves) and when I had to be doing something out of sight keeping up a calm running commentary - even if it seemed like they were screaming the place down and couldn't hear me! Does Mum sing to her - any songs you could copy? Going out for walks helped a lot too, for me as much as the child because it really does wear on your nerves after a while! Is it vital that she goes to nursery so soon? If so then it can't be helped but she will find it extremely hard to adjust to another new place and people when she's at the height of separation anxiety.

:)

I'm afraid I have no space for the days that mum wants I am just helping as much as I can until then, if mum was moving to another childminder I would be recommending a quieter less busy environment! Today and I hope I'm not speaking too soon we have one rather bad outburst and that was when I was changing another child and then gave my 3 year old son a cuddle! We have just played some bonding games where I am hopefully helping her understand that other people are allowed near me fingers crossed!!!!!! I am going to try every single thing that I have read but like you say that sad reality is hopefully we will make a breakthrough then it's off to nursery, but I will still have her one day a week until Feb so we will see!

[gegele]

I had screamers. 1 one them loves her car seat and felt in security there. so i left it in front room and when things got too much for her she'd crawl to her seat and watch the other children.

I don't think it's fair on child to go to nursery if she's like this with only 1 carer, she's going to feel lost??

i go on my knee and give cuddles but i do not pick up to cuddle if that makes sense.

I use to put her between my legs rather than on my knees when i played on the floor...

It makes it easier to then move back a bit... distance yourself a bit more

good luck