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beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:18 PM
my own child has suddenly started to play up at bed time. she says she doesn't want to go to bed....so i do her routine bath then a story then bed but soon as i shut the door she's crys :-( she's got two night lights and I am not keen on the door open so don't really want to do it but the last two nights she's been screaming blue murder so gave in and later on shut the door. anyone got advice as its getting me down i dread bedtime because of the fuss but really don't want the door open should i give in.:-(

dawn100
17-10-2012, 09:22 PM
Can I ask why you don't want the door open?

AliceK
17-10-2012, 09:24 PM
Personally I would give-in. Both my children sleep with the doors open and the landing light on. My DD used to always sleep with the door closed and would not sleep with it open but I think they go through a stage of not liking the dark and then need the door open. TBH I also need to have my door open just a little bit, I hate it being shut, I feel too cut off from everyone else if it's closed.

xxx

The Juggler
17-10-2012, 09:28 PM
i don't see the problem with the door hon. the only time I shut dd's was when she played up at bedtime screaming blue murder! I told her if she wasn't quiet I'd shut it and then I only reopened it when she quietened down.

Some kids feel very closed in with the door shut - especially if they have fears of darkness or bogey monsters under the bed. they like to be able to hear the noise of you downstairs :)

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:31 PM
we got a cat she would go in there and gets under the blackout blind and gets stuck the dumb cat! she nearly broke the blind before by getting her claws round the get behind it. that's why i like it shut plus i am used to it being shut too.

AliceK
17-10-2012, 09:34 PM
we got a cat she would go in there and gets under the blackout blind and gets stuck the dumb cat! she nearly broke the blind before by getting her claws round the get behind it. that's why i like it shut plus i am used to it being shut too.

Shut the cat in another room for the night?
My Cats and dog are confined to the kitchen. My children love the cats but hate the cats being in their rooms and one of my cats would spend the night sleeping on my head if he could.

xxx

Mouse
17-10-2012, 09:39 PM
I'd put the cat out & leave the door open!

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:41 PM
the cat would scratch the door to bits if we locked her in some where. will have to think which i don't want most....screaming child or broken blind and door.....after tonight's screaming maybe i should live with the door open but feel like she's won in away as this not going to bed like she used too is a stage.

dawn100
17-10-2012, 09:43 PM
I would also suggest shutting the cat elsewhere, my youngest two will not sleep with their doors shut, my son who is 7 will wake up screaming in the night if the door is shut he just can 'sense' when it's closed, he feels trapped and gets panicky

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:43 PM
she doesn't go out....:-(





the cat would scratch the door to bits if we locked her in some where. will have to think which i don't want most....screaming child or broken blind and door.....after tonight's screaming maybe i should live with the door open but feel like she's won in away as this not going to bed like she used too is a stage.

dawn100
17-10-2012, 09:47 PM
Could you compromise and say if she gets ready for bed without a battle she can have the door open until she goes to sleep so you're still in control rather then giving in after she's been screaming?

The Juggler
17-10-2012, 09:53 PM
i agree hon, shut the cat up somewhere for the night - not fair that your dd has to have the door closed because of the cat :panic::( Cover the door with sheet of material she can scratch at maybe?

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:53 PM
sounds like a good idea as husband doesn't want door open too. worth a try. thanks




Could you compromise and say if she gets ready for bed without a battle she can have the door open until she goes to sleep so you're still in control rather then giving in after she's been screaming?

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 09:59 PM
its not just because of the cat...i would prefer her door was shut as bathroom is right next to her room and we turn the light on it might wake her. i would feel better if i didn't give in as i think its just a stage all this fuss she can be a right madam! not the cats fault.




i agree hon, shut the cat up somewhere for the night - not fair that your dd has to have the door closed because of the cat :panic::( Cover the door with sheet of material she can scratch at maybe?

The Juggler
17-10-2012, 10:01 PM
its not just because of the cat...i would prefer her door was shut as bathroom is right next to her room and we turn the light on it might wake her. i would feel better if i didn't give in as i think its just a stage all this fuss she can be a right madam! not the cats fault.

i do see what you are saying hon, but some children are just really afraid of the door being closed :( you are not giving in if she is going to bed nicely when the door is open she is behaving. why not give it a try and see - she might not be disturbed by the bathroom light.

FussyElmo
17-10-2012, 10:06 PM
how old is your dd just asking as my youngest now 4 used to laugh at her brother for needing his door open. got to early this year and all of a sudden she didn't want the door shut. its now open landing light and bathroom light kept all night.

perhaps try not to see it as giving in but responding to her needs:thumbsup:

wendywu
17-10-2012, 10:19 PM
I would pick your battles and having the bedroom door open is not one of them. My two always slept with their bedroom doors open. They dont now in their teens, so it all changes through natural selection.:D

beachgirl29
17-10-2012, 10:23 PM
i will consider everyones advice thanks all. But will try one last effort before the door is open...we both agreed.


she's 3 and a bit.

WibbleWobble
18-10-2012, 06:50 AM
flamin smokey the cat!


and E being a sausage at night...is this still going on? she is a monkey! tell aunty wibble wont have her over to play is she doesnt behave!


wibble xxx

beachgirl29
19-10-2012, 09:11 PM
has done the door open past couple of nights and good news the cat doesn't go in.....bad news doesn't make a difference my daughter still crys at bed time :-(

i tried a photo of myself and husband by her bed we picked the photo out and explained we are always with her and love her and she shouldn't cry at bed time....but hasn't worked :-(


she's been down stairs once which she didn't dare do before so had to just take her back up to bed...so far nothing but i am a bit fed up with it all. i ask her what's wrong she said she doesn't like the dark...she's got two night lights plus a light up toy.

beachgirl29
19-10-2012, 09:27 PM
can anyone recommended a book to read to her about bedtime? she seems to respond to books as she's used to make a fuss about having her hair cut and we got a book about Jim who needed a trim and it worked.

is there a book about going to bed nicely and not being scared???

WibbleWobble
19-10-2012, 09:30 PM
So me telling her to behave or she won't come to play didn't work? Little doo dah!

Wibble x

alwaysright
19-10-2012, 09:45 PM
maybe the nightlights arent enough, what about trying a lamp or leave the hall light on. i still will not sleep with the door closed or in the dark! if i wake during the night i get very disorientated if its dark and end up properly awake, if the light is on i just check the time and can fall back asleep. i also cant fall asleep if its dark!

beachgirl29
19-10-2012, 09:59 PM
So me telling her to behave or she won't come to play didn't work? Little doo dah!

Wibble x


no didn't work :-( had another idea! write my own story book about how to go to bed nicely...
really hope this stage moves on soon!

beachgirl29
19-10-2012, 10:04 PM
maybe the nightlights arent enough, what about trying a lamp or leave the hall light on. i still will not sleep with the door closed or in the dark! if i wake during the night i get very disorientated if its dark and end up properly awake, if the light is on i just check the time and can fall back asleep. i also cant fall asleep if its dark!


i can't sleep with any lights on! yes we tired landing light on but will see if she settles over next few days maybe she needs time to get used to the door being open and light on before she feel safe?? not sure what else i can do!!!

we had lamp on in her room but she wouldn't go to sleep at all seemed to just stay up and play!!

AliceK
20-10-2012, 09:43 AM
My children are 5 and 8 and they both need to have their doors open and the landing light on. They also need their light on when they go to sleep. They both have one of those touch lamps the ones where if you touch it once it's just a very soft light, touch again, a bit brighter and then third time full brightness. I turn their lamps off when I come to bed.
I think children go through a phase of being scared at night. My DS is scared that I might go out and robbers will come????? I have NEVER gone out when he's in bed, not even and had a babysitter in. My DD is scared of everything at night, the noise from the boiler, the noise from the pipes, fireworks outside, you name it she hates it. Some evenings are very very tough :panic:
I do try and be sympathetic. I remember when I was little if I couldn't hear my parents moving about downstairs I thought they had died.
Pick your battles would be my advise.
xxxx

beachgirl29
22-10-2012, 09:13 PM
door open lights on....all has failed. she now shouts i don't want to go to bed and crys and tonight refused to get into bed! In the end Mr beachgirl29 dealt with it and i got upset so now have drawn up a reward chart

i try to talk to her about it and she wont tell me but i noticed when its nearly bedtime she doesn't want to be parted from my side is like my shadow. i put a photo by the side of the bed but that didnt work either. Mr beachgirl29 is getting angry as she's waking up at 5am and singing in the hall. door open the messes about but door shut and she goes mental! can't win.....not sure what else to do besides a reward chart now as she will not tell me whats wrong and i have tried to understand the being scared of the dark with lights on and door open but she's just getting worse! :-(

Mouse
22-10-2012, 10:58 PM
Have you tried putting some quiet music on in her room or a story CD.

Whatever it is that made her scared might have passed, but it sounds as if she has maybe got herself into a habit of crying at bedtime - hence the reason she doesn't know what's wrong.

A story CD or some relaxation type music might just take her mind off whatever it is that's upsetting her.

For light, what about a fibre optic light or lava lamp. They're very relaxing, not very bright and again can help focus the child's attention away from whatever is making them cry.

mrs robbie williams
23-10-2012, 05:58 AM
Shut the cat in another room for the night?
My Cats and dog are confined to the kitchen. My children love the cats but hate the cats being in their rooms and one of my cats would spend the night sleeping on my head if he could.
xxx

:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing: what is with cats, mine tries to sleep on my head :laughing::laughing:

beachgirl29
23-10-2012, 08:33 PM
plan b part 2 was done today! we gutted her room and took her shopping for everything! she had to pick what went back in. it cost £400 ! new bed and wardrobe, new carpet etc....as her old wardrobe was dark brown.
i did a reward chart too.
it has seemed to have worked...we have invested in another night light too. she didn't cry as much and made a bit of fuss but not too bad just got to see what happens in morning as she can wake at 5.30am and come see us! i am hoping the reward chart will help in the mornings.

winstonian
23-10-2012, 08:36 PM
Good luck x

AliceK
23-10-2012, 09:15 PM
:laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing: what is with cats, mine tries to sleep on my head :laughing::laughing:

I know. My cat will pad about next to my head, lick my eyelids and dribble on me, all this with a very loud purr. Gotta love him :laughing:

xxx

scottishlass
23-10-2012, 09:18 PM
Hope she has a nice long sleep!! I know how frustrating it can be - my eldest dd is now 10 and still insists on bedroom door wide open and hall light on - if I attempt to turn of the hall light she wakes up - was a great sleeper as a baby until the age of 2 when it all went belly up!! My other dd is 6 and up until about a year ago could only get to sleep with no light and door closed but now she too insists on door open for light in the hall although she does still go to sleep much easier than her sister. On the plus side once asleep both my girls could sleep for scotland and I have to wake them up in the mornings so I often get a long lie in the holidays and weekend mornings :)