How old for tiding up?

[little chickee]

I currently mind a 3 1/2 yo, 2 yo and an 18 month old.

When it comes to tiding up the toys ( which i ask to be done before lunch and then just before hometime) 3 yo is very good, 18 month i think is still quite young but she does her bit.

2 yo completly refuses to even attempt to tidy up. Has a temper tantrum about it.

What should i do? Perserve with trying to get him to help which always ends up in a screaming tantrum - he gets really in a state.
Or just let him not tidy up and hope it improves with age?

He is a delightful child 99 % of the time and i adore him so i hate being all stern and falling out with him but feel its not fair on the other 2.

What approach would you take?

[Pipsqueak]

if they are old/capable enough to get it out then they are old/capable enough to put it away (assitance is offered if needed)

yes persist - when he has finished his tantrum - he gets to put the toys away....
if he can't put the toys away then he doesn't get to play with them

that 'da rules' here anyway

[JCrakers]

Never too young to tidy up here. I have babies of 6 weeks tidying up :D

Not really.....

I would say be persistent and just keep explaining that these are the rules. He will need to tidy up at school and hopefully this will stay with him.
Or in my sons case, he's 13, his room will look and smell like a bomb on a farm :D

[Pipsqueak]

Or in my sons case, he's 13, his room will look and smell like a bomb on a farm :D

oh my 14yr olds room smells like a cesspit...
the 12yr olds room is even worse but that is just his minging trainers

balk balk

I disinfect myself everytime I come out:rolleyes:

[amanda1309]

if they are old/capable enough to get it out then they are old/capable enough to put it away (assitance is offered if needed)

yes persist - when he has finished his tantrum - he gets to put the toys away....
if he can't put the toys away then he doesn't get to play with them

that 'da rules' here anyway
The rules are the same here :laughing:

[little chickee]

So how do i get him to tidy up?
I ask him, i help him, i try to make it a game etc. All i get is a very firm "NO" with his arms crossed and then the screaming!

I tried time out - just seems to make it worse.
Especially the before luch tidy up - he gets into such a state that he's unable to eat his lunch.

He doesn't have to tidy up at home!

[Becci26]

I downloaded a 'tidy up' song from itunes as my lo's preferred to avoid tidying up, I give a warning that we will be tidying up in a few minutes and when it's time put the song on, the kids love it because it's quite upbeat and it worked a treat.

Otherwise if he's refusing, leave a few toys for lo to tidy up after lunch, before he gets to play with anything else.

[Playmate]

We recently introduced a smiley face chart for tidying up. We had a 3 year old who always wanted to go to the toilet as soon as we mentioned the words tidy up :panic: Our other 2 who were good at tidying got lots of smiley faces and by the second week miss Pee pot wanted to tidy up to instead of visiting the loo :D

[Pipsqueak]

I give a few minutes warning before start of tidy up time.

If he is steadfastly refusing - let him paddy and then when he calms down , repeat your request.... you need to break his cycle of I'll paddy to get my own way - believe me I can be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more stubborn and petulant than any tantruming toddler! lol

another way is give him his own basket of toys and he is ONLY allowed to play with them - if he doesn't tidy them away then they get taken away - he'll soon get the message when he has nowt to play with!

[silvermist]

My los have tidied up since they started here at 9 months. We just do it, they see it as normal routine. xx

[tamsin]

Maybe try introducing some of the concepts without doing a full tidy up, for example swapping out one toy for another, making a game of putting objects in baskets and exchanging them for something (eg a sticker), or finding all the 'blue' things and gathering them together.

[EmmaReed84]

I give a warning for tidying up. Or will say "We need to have lunch soon/collect x, what do we need to do now?" they all answer, "tidy up" I have one 3 yr old who can either be really, really good at tidying up all smiles putting the toys in the right boxes, then other times, just stands there crying!

On the days he just stands there I get a selection of toys and tell the other not to clear them away. They are X's toys to tidy up. I then tell X that he can join us at the table when he had tidied his share of toys, or I start getting the others ready to go out (I leave enough time so not rushing) I totally ignore him and carry on. Sure enough he starts to tidy up, when he is finished he gets a "Well done, good boy!" no massive fuss and he can then join in

This seems to work for him. I think you definitely need to speak to the parents about the importance of encouraging independence and getting him to help tidy up.

[k1rstie]

if they are old/capable enough to get it out then they are old/capable enough to put it away (assitance is offered if needed)

yes persist - when he has finished his tantrum - he gets to put the toys away....
if he can't put the toys away then he doesn't get to play with them

that 'da rules' here anyway


same here.

How old? well, I am too old

[Maza]

I would try a reward chart and make a huge fuss of the ones who do good tidying up. Giving warning eg "In 5 minutes we are going to tidy up".

[mushpea]

mine all tidy down to the 15 month old who actutal likes to do it anyway.
If i have one that dosent want to then we leave a little pile of toys out just for that child to put away and if they dont they dont move on to the next thing, if its lunch time I persisit for a while but obviously I cant refuse food so we have lunch then I wont let them play unitll they have put their pile of things away. If I know its a persistant offender lol then we tidy as we go along so that child knows they are missing out on playing because they wont tidy and if we are going out then that child will have their pile of toys to tidy earlier than everyone else. this system seems to work for most children as they soon realise that they cant join in and play untill they have tidyed. when I worked in the nursery we had to follow a child around stopping them from playing with anything untill they had done their tidying.

[jackie 7]

In my last life as a nanny I had 4 children who never tidied up at weekends. I have never seen so much mess parents said they had no time to tidy. Well i got fed up with it so on a monday i would put the toys in a black bag and hide them. next weekend same thing. Children still happy as they had way too many toys. after several weeks of this my time came! Yes they went to play and I had my revenge there was only empty shelves. They searched high and low. Parents were away for the week as usual so i had fun. we lived in switzerland so they had no one to complain to. Oh they did learn to tidy up!

[Jo Jo]

if they are old/capable enough to get it out then they are old/capable enough to put it away (assitance is offered if needed)

yes persist - when he has finished his tantrum - he gets to put the toys away....
if he can't put the toys away then he doesn't get to play with them

that 'da rules' here anyway

Totally agree :thumbsup: