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kats
11-10-2012, 06:05 AM
I'm having a problem with one of my parents, this is something that has happened in the past with other parents i would be interested to know your views on it. I have just started to mind a 9 month old baby who is starting to become mobile so is obviously banging into things, falling over etc, nothing much just the odd little bump on the head, you know how it is!! I always fill in an incident form and get mum to sign but she is quite annoyed when her baby gets these unavoidable bumps. She is also now bringing baby to me and asking what has caused various marks on her baby that i know have not happened whilst he is with me, i think after the fuss she has made she is a bit embarrassed to admit that baby is also getting bumps whilst in her care too. This is really getting me down and im on edge all the time as baby moves around worried he might fall and get a mark on him. Would it be bad practice to write some sort of policy that explains that babies are bound to fall and get the odd mark and that as much as i will do my best to keep children safe this sort of thing will happen or is it a bit dodgy from a safeguarding angle??? has anyone else had this problem with parents?? thanks :)

Daftbat
11-10-2012, 07:08 AM
I am guessing here but I think this is a first time mum???

From what you have said you are doing nothing wrong and I have always found that children have a spate of going in the accident book at various times which tend to coincide with developmental stages such as crawling and walking.

Carry on doing what you are doing, reassure the parent and be firm about any marks which you think have been done off your premises - use the existing injuries section of your accident book to record these. I don't think you need a policy. I feel sure that things will settle down with the parent especially if you continue to be supportive and confirm to her that these things are normal.

The Juggler
11-10-2012, 09:00 AM
i think I would sit parent down and say how normal it is for bumps and bruises to happen as they learn to negotiate space and move around.

Say to her that by picking her baby up every time he is in danger or bumping into something of falling flat on his face won't help him learn NOT to do that in future and he won't be able to work out what to do and what not to do.

Tell her you will inform her of all bumps he gets with you but she has to accept that they have not ALL happened at your house and to insinuate such will make your working relationship very fraught. It's ok for him to have bumped himself in other places and perfectly normal (said with a smile and tongue in cheek).

then i would record what was said at the meeting and the reason for the meeting being held.:)

lucyD
26-11-2012, 02:25 PM
Glad I saw this thread as I am now going through a similar thing. I always note any bumps etc in diary & record existing bruises in accident book. I noticed lo had bruise on cheek halfway through the day & jotted in diary that I think she may have done it when she fell on toy telephone earlier. Mum then put in diary next day not to worry as she already had the bruise. I only noticed it halfway through the day as was very dark & only could see it in bright sunlight when it brightened up in the afternoon. ANYWAY...the next day at first nappy change I noticed some finger shaped bruises on thigh. Now, I had stopped her from falling earlier in the morning, grabbed leg & put hand under her head to stop her hurting herself but this was opposite leg & I did not grab very hard. Because I think I did not cause it I just wrote it in existing injury book & presumed parents knew. Stupidly I did not mention it at pick up as needed to rush off to my course. The next day I text dad to say I still had her dummy here & did they need it. He replied no, but did you noticed bruise marks on leg. I told him yes & I recorded it but did not think it happened here so did not put in diary. however I did have to stop her from falling when she pulled herself up to stand but did not grab hard. He said 'where did you record it as no note in diary'. I then explained about accident/inury book & they would need to sign it so I would chat with them about it next week. Now, I feel really stupid for not recording in the diary or mentioning it........I am 99% it wasn't me too. He said 'oh thats fine, have a nice weekend' but I feel sick!! Any advice?
I am presuming they wont want to sign to say it was an existing injury as they have not said they did it, they think I did it. Not sure what is going on with these parents but I hope everything is ok but I am really worried now.

VeggieSausage
26-11-2012, 05:32 PM
Glad I saw this thread as I am now going through a similar thing. I always note any bumps etc in diary & record existing bruises in accident book. I noticed lo had bruise on cheek halfway through the day & jotted in diary that I think she may have done it when she fell on toy telephone earlier. Mum then put in diary next day not to worry as she already had the bruise. I only noticed it halfway through the day as was very dark & only could see it in bright sunlight when it brightened up in the afternoon. ANYWAY...the next day at first nappy change I noticed some finger shaped bruises on thigh. Now, I had stopped her from falling earlier in the morning, grabbed leg & put hand under her head to stop her hurting herself but this was opposite leg & I did not grab very hard. Because I think I did not cause it I just wrote it in existing injury book & presumed parents knew. Stupidly I did not mention it at pick up as needed to rush off to my course. The next day I text dad to say I still had her dummy here & did they need it. He replied no, but did you noticed bruise marks on leg. I told him yes & I recorded it but did not think it happened here so did not put in diary. however I did have to stop her from falling when she pulled herself up to stand but did not grab hard. He said 'where did you record it as no note in diary'. I then explained about accident/inury book & they would need to sign it so I would chat with them about it next week. Now, I feel really stupid for not recording in the diary or mentioning it........I am 99% it wasn't me too. He said 'oh thats fine, have a nice weekend' but I feel sick!! Any advice?
I am presuming they wont want to sign to say it was an existing injury as they have not said they did it, they think I did it. Not sure what is going on with these parents but I hope everything is ok but I am really worried now.

I would say to everyone to record everything and make notes. I have had a parent who was hyper interested in every scratch, one day their child who had been with me for 2 years, fell and grazed his hand very minorly. I totally forgot about it, he was fine and I was going to mention to mum but slipped my mind. anyway the next day, dad says 'mind the cuts on his hand they are really bothering him'....oh whats he done I say, you tell me was his response. So now I record absolutely everything, they have the clumsiest child I have ever encountered so they must get sick of filling in forms!!! .....Seriously to protect yourselves you must record and be really disciplined with this....

hectors house
26-11-2012, 05:45 PM
I had first time mum who was in her late 40's - she was paranoid at every little mark and unfortunately her son was VERY accident prone - the slightest fall he would always manage to put his teeth through his lip or land on face. She would really make me feel guilty saying things like "Oh x, what an earth is daddy going to say".

Eventually I had to spell it out to her that as he was me 5 days a week with a ratio of 1 adult to 3 children and only at home for 2 days with a ratio of 2 adults to 1 child, he was far more likely to have bumps with me - she once lost her temper with me and really upset me, (I nearly gave notice but was worried that she had post natal depression), I said if she wanted to make it a formal complaint I would act on it, or if she was accusing me of neglect would she like to phone Ofsted. I had to create my own minor injuries sheet as I was getting through an NCMA book every couple of months!