Bullying

[JueQ]

Hi, I would like some advice. I mind two sisters who can be a handful at times. Over the last few months their behaviour has improved greatly despite problems at home. I always speak openly to mum and try to work out differences with the children together and she generally backs me with my discipline as she knows what a handful they are. I have another mindee who is quite timid and shy and I recently caught the younger sister pushing the other one around. She was severely spoken to and told it was her last chance. I have spoken to all the children in my care and reminded them of expected behaviour and what I saw was bullying. Both parents have been spoken to and the sisters parents have dealt with her (not sure how!).

I do not want children in my setting to be scared but I have some other mindees that don't really like the siblings. It's almost like a pack as they are confident together. I know kids are kids which makes it difficult but to be honest I'm sick of the situation and will be rid at the first chance. I do worry that I'm being hard on the "bully" as they have issues of their own. My partner reminds me I'm not a social worker and just mind children not take on all the problems. I feel bad that if I don't try and work things out, I will only make their problems at home worse by ending childcare as they love to come to me.

btw, I have every policy and contract in place and am well within my rights to end things there and then without notice due to the behaviour - mum also knows this and it worries her.

I would appreciate any advice and if anyone else has been in this situation.

[sarah707]

To be honest if you are talking about getting rid of the children at the first opportunity then I think you have answered your own question.

I suggest you start advertising x

[JueQ]

That's the problem. When I wasn't full it was me and the girls but now I am full they are causing problems. I have had to make the decision that the next mistake (ie bullying etc) they make, they will have to go as it's causing an unpleasant atmosphere. I have tried for the last 15 months for this to work and it gets better for a while then worse again. I sympathise with mum as she's had lots of problems and this is the reason they've had chance after chance. I don't need to advertise as I'm very busy even though I get a chunk of my wage from them. It's no longer about the money. I posted on here just wondering if anyone had experienced anything similar.

[Kiddleywinks]

How old are they?

The reason I ask is that what we as adults interpret at 'bullying' can just be a child's single-mindedness/selfishness

If it is bullish behaviour, then time out if the child is of an age to understand the consequences of their actions, firmly and consistently, with maybe a sticker reward system may help

[JCrakers]

I would see how it goes and if it happens again give notice. I think if you continue with the pair then the other children won't want to come and you will lose children either way. Being together probably does make it worse and I have siblings that are more of a problem than others.

Not the same situation as yours but similar in ways. I care for two brothers and have done so for 5yrs. They are a handful and take quite a lot of my energy. The eldest is now 8yrs and doesn't listen and does things without thinking which wears me down as I constantly have to tell him off.
I'm thinking of giving notice as he's making my job a hard one and disrupting the group. I care for his 3yr old sister full time so have put off giving notice but I think after years of this I've had enough. I think mum may put him in after school club and hopefully I can still care for the other two.
It's a hard decision isn't it